Leave or stay?

peachesgirl1212

Leave... I did. It is worst on the kids if you stay. They sense that there is a struggle between you and your spouse. It took me a long time to come with terms of leaving, but my 7 year old put it best when he told me that he would rather have both of us happy and apart than together and miserable. My ex and I are now best friends. It was so nice not fighting all the time after that weight had been lifted off of our shoulders. We realized that we both love each other just can not live together. My children are also so much happier. Good luck....

sweet

married and in a simialr situation. I would not stay for the children. They will be fine. Just make sure the children know that they are loved and never bad mouth each other. The children will pick up on any tesion and bitterness that is in the home. Good Luck....

Taxed

I stayed for eight years and in hindsight, should have left. It's a very personal decision. No one can tell you the correct choice.

qpistol

put the kids in an orphanage that way you can both be free to carry on irresponsibly ever after

Mygirlsmom

I would say leave, I have stayed in my marriage for my 3 year old daughter and have put up with everything so she can have her family. But the kids will be happier if you are happy. We only live once we should make the most of it.

manda

Leave, knowing what's best for your children is the best way of showing you love them. They will appreciate it in the long run. And quite possibly by getting out sooner, than later will give you a better relationship with you spouse at a later time (not together, but on a friend level) so that the chikdren don't feel it neccesary to choose sides or feel torn.

Red

I would leave. More damage can be done staying in a relationship that is not working. Do think long and hard before taking this step though. Have you considered counseling for the two of you, have you sat down together and discussed your situation. Make sure the kids don't get caught up in what has gone wrong in your marriage. Children have a tendency to think they are the cause of the problem.

Hank

If you are asking yourself this question, that means things are not going well. Have you discussed these feelings with your spouse? You have an obligation to try and work things out.

Prayerwarrior

COUNSELING, AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK THAN MAYBE IT IS TIME YOU WENT YOUR SEPERATE WAYS.

dolphin2253

Don't stay just for the kids. Don't you think they will be able to tell that you're not happy? It's not doing anything for them to see you not getting along. Just move on.

JBWPLGCSE

I'd leave especially if my husband was never around, was fooling around, and was using me as a punching bag, stealing from me, always put me down, violent, abusive, drank, gambled, didn't help with the bills, housework, never asked me what I wanted, and did things without consulting me, over spent, ran up the credit card bills, had a baby by another woman, molested my children. However if he's not like that then I'd see a marriage councelor or write to Dr. Phil and see what can be done to save the marriage. I'm single, and have been for 16 years.

Kimberly T

No get out, things will never get better.

Linda L

I am single and I would say that that is your decision.
I tried to stay in my marriage for the kids but I found that they were just as unhappy in the situation as we were. It is so hard on kids but as long as they can stay connected to both parents and spend time with both, they are probably better off. Good luck to you and may God bless you.

married2004

My parents decided to stay together for an additional 10+ years for us kids. The ramifications of that decision have greatly affected my life and adulthood. I grew up knowing only bitterness, anger and god awful silences because my parents couldn't stand being around each other. Had they divorced when I was younger, I have to believe I would have witnessed my parents pursuing happiness instead of wallowing in misery. But I don't know. My parents did divorce when we were older and I've witnessed a happiness in both my parents that never existed in my childhood.

I know this doesn't answer your question, but I know that you need to do what's best for you and your children. Just know that if you are miserable and unhappy, no matter how hard you try to hide it, your kids will know.

Nichole

I am married. I would never stay just for the children. If you are doing everything that you can do and nothing is working then maybe you should just leave. Sometimes it just doesn't work out.

saule

i would leave, because it would be better for kids not to see their parents arguing.

tigger_93

I WOULD LEAVE CAUSE i would rather come from a broken home than live in one.

lillady

I do love my husband or maybe it's that I have love for him. But I think we both basically stick around for our children. Plus I cater to his needs as for babysitting and housework and what not so I don't think he'd leave me anytime soon. I will one day get on my feet(when I get the opportunity) and I'll have to see from there.

browneyedgirl

leave. you should never stay married just for the children. cuz if the relationship is not good then the family is not great. make the kids come first and if you are happier apart then the kids will be happy to even though they have to visit or live in two different homes

Guy M

after all else fails, if you are sure it is over and can't possibly be salvaged, you must leave. but be sure to LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAVE, there is NO turning back...bye,bye!

happydancergirl

Ask yourself, have you exercised EVERY avenue in order to stay together? Marital counseling, attempt to serve one another in order to build back that original love etc. If in that case you had, then it would be better to leave amicably rather than allowing things to get ugly. The children will be affected both ways, however if you are able to dissolve the marriage on "positive" terms, your children will end up being healthier. Remember that they will emulate your example, good or bad. That is the experience that they will have in their heads and hearts and use those "skills/tools" in their own relationships.

Ain't Not Cool

Stay b/c of the chilldren. It's gonna be really hard on them. You can always sleep in seperate rooms though.

Go to marriage councelling!!!

lefftylucy

first did you talk to your spouse about what you are feeling. this is a big decision . children can't hold a marriage together, only you guys can. good luck i hope everything works out for you. if you do leave do not keep your child from the other parent it's wrong to divorce the kids

adamsjeeps

IT ALL DEPENDS, THERE ARE OPTIONS, .. GO TO MARRIAGE CANCELLING. I HAVE A FRIEND THAT GOT DIVORCED & THEY GET ALONG BETTER NOW THAN WHEN THEY WHERE MARRIED. SOMETIMES I THINK IT PUTS THE KIDS IN A BAD SITUATION...IF THEY IS ALOT OF BAD LANGUAGE, NAME CALLING, FIGHTING, ... IF THE KIDS SEE THAT THEN THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY THINK THAT IT IS OKAY TO DO THAT TO SOMEBODY AND THEY START DOING IT BECAUSE MOMMY & DADDY DO THAT... GOOD LUCK!!

Sophiesmom

I wouldnt stay and im married. If you dont think a bad relationship effects the kiddos your wrong...They learn from what they see and you dont want them to fall into the same rut...If your not happy, if there is abuse...RUN

curly_Q

tough call. I would leave actually after changing my mind. But be freindly???

áƒ¦â™¥â™ªâ™«â™¥Amandaâ™¥â™«â™ªâ™¥áƒ¦

I'm all about the children I came from a broken home not very nice. Hey look on the bright side there are always other solutions right counselling, talking with your partner or separation for a little bit Divorce is such a drastic thing.

The Common reasons couples fight is because they don't talk enough and when the do have the chance to talk there all stressed from work, bills, kids & life in general and thats when the fighting starts! maybe what you's should do is set up a specail time a week where it can be just the two of you movie ,diner or just a quite night at home where you's can shoot the poo and put all your cards on the table i bet you'll notice a difference

shearnerve

Wow tough call. If your spouse is abusive or does not acknowledge money wise or emotion wise, yourself or your children AND you both have tried to work on it, it is better for all concerned to part. If you stay, you both became mean, spiteful & a hollow shell. AND, the children do notice. But, that all said no one can make the choice but you.

Mr.Mann1264

pack your bags. The kids will understand especially the way our society is

mizzmisti

Leave and let the children see both of you happy even if it is separately. If you can remain friends as well as parents, it shouldn't be too much of a shock. Most kids know when parents don't get along anyhow...

LEAVE! I just left my husband, coundnt do it any longer, gave him the benefit of boubt for 10yrs, went to counciling(doesn't work they sit there and tell you things you already know). My kids 11 and 8 actually suggested that we seperate. And this was before I told them anything about it. Kids get tired of the Bs to. LEAVE....

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