Leave, stay, something else?

Lilmisssassy

GET COUNSLING

baybeegrl5

has it ever crossed your mind to change the behavior that upsets your wife so she doesn't suffer any more emotional damage?why leave when there's a possibility of reconciliation?

Confused

Work it out! That is what marriage is about. You could have dated her if you wanted the flexibility of leaving when things were down. Better or worse, plenty and in want, forsake all others, lifelong committment, all that stuff. Talk with her. Reignite the spark. It can be done with open talk, honesty, effort, praying, etc.

Ruth R

Don't leave because you haven't been the material husband. Work on the marriage! Now that you recognize some of your mistakes, own up to it man! If you still both love each other have a marriage counselor help you out. Best of luck.

Chexy Chix

talk to her and give her the option. You might leave and that would hurt her alot more.

247

What in the world are you saying?

Ok.. .did you all date for any length of time? Did you participate in pre-marital counseling? Shouldn't you consider marriage counseling? Were you aware that she had issues prior to marriage. Did you know that you were not "in love" with her when you married or prior to marriage? Why did you choose to marry her?
Why did she choose to marry you?

Marriage is work... don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and that whole thing about "loving each other".... but not being in love" is a load of crap. Work that mess out. Too many people want to bail when the going gets tough and from the sound of it you two don't even want to stand your ground during a rain shower (figuratively speaking)... How the heck are you going to stand your ground in a storm.

You both made a covenant promise with God concerning your marriage to one another. That's extremely serious. Make sure you make a serious effort to restore and claim your marriage to be whole and healthy. Don't just give up. Work to receive the reward. Nothing worth having comes easy... other wise how can a person truly appreciated what they have.

Seek out and receive counseling from a reliable therapist/marriage counselor... and Work that mess out with a quickness. You are her protector and provider so step up to the plate and find out why her emotional stamina is lacking. AGAIN... both of you seek counseling together... and seperately.. but stay the course and keep your union in tact. You'll reap the benefits later.... TRUST!!!!

evening_dewpoint

It is better to leave her

melodyanne1

don't just give up on it if you love each other. Get some outside help. If you know you love her then you need to atleast try to keep the marriage. But if not then for both of your happiness get a divorce!! when you are not happy she's not going to be happy. you can't have a one sided relationship.

1plum

well 1st see how she feels. see if u 2 can seek marriage counslor

Tony

How about taking a break first....maybe consider counselling. Divorce is a big decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. Explore some other options first.....cause you both still love each other.

kennymartin1970

Leave

notyours

for better or worse? what happened to that? this is ridiculous.

Celeste

Why prolong the inevitable?? If you feel that the two of you don't mesh well together quit wasting both of your time. Plus, you've only been married for a year, it's still in the "honeymoon" phase! Talk with your wife, you married her for a reason. Get to the bottom of the problem. Get counseling.

whateversatx

It seems as though you both have checked out of this marriage a long time ago.. y'all need to talk and discuss your feelings to each other, why go through the motions... talk to her / you owe her at least that much, listen to her .... tell her your feelings... come to an agreement together, if y'all should stay together or separate... I hope y'all are able to find what you are both looking for... Good luck, I hope maybe you will be able to find the love y'all used to have and be able to remember why y'all got married in the first place . If you are not able to, well at least you can say you tried....

yambehler

that's all up to you....you make the decision and not us. ask yourself this question....did i marry her for love or for just convenience? is it your convenience or hers? (just asking....)

black_caspa69

well try doing stuff for each other i find me and my wife get better results thru compromise and all tht stuff

sweetpea4192

always seek counseling when situations happen it's only the first year give it some time try changing alittle for her sake and maybe things will get better.

kimgirlscout

Everybody goes through this. Marriage takes work. Don't be a quitter and just give up. You can probably work through this. Good luck to ya!

jolie minouche

you should leave because if you're not in love with each other later you migth ended up hurting her more like you said yourself let her go maybe one day she will found a good'' one'' and be in an equal relationship because i'm sure she deserved that.you only been married for 13 months,why did you get married in the first place,leave if that what you want cause 13 months later you'll be begging her to take you back and guess what i hope she doesn't take yr sorry self back .

april j

I honestly think you both should take some time to think about your relationship (separate). I too was in a similar situation we had been together so long and we had both done so many things to one another that there was no point in contiuing on. We took a year to think things through and see other people now we are planning our wedding. We had been together six years when we decided to take break and I must say it was one of the best things we could've done for our relationship.

kree8iv73

Try meeting with a third party. It can really shed some light on the situation for both of you. Most likely there are things that neither of you can see or want to see. Let it go from there. If she won't go seek counseling then you have to revisit this question...leave or stay, but no something else. 13 months is hardly a lifetime, and if there was not much time invested in the relationship before and no children, and no more love... then your choice should be apparent. Happiness, or unhappiness?

citygirl2674

FIRST OF ALL, TRY TO TALK TO YOUR WIFE. A MARRIAGE TAKES WORK! IT IS NOT PERFECT ALL OF THE TIME.

Just Me

If you are not in love, then you should split up. Get counseling during the split so that hopefully your love for each other can remain and you can keep each other as good friends. The counselling will also help get insight as to what you can do in your next relationship. But if you are not IN LOVE, you should move on. Dragging out a relationship just holds back both of you from finding true love and true happiness. Time is too precious to try to make things work out of feelings of obligation.

*walkinthelight*

read the book the five love languages...i promise if this book and having a marriage that involves god doesn't save you then nothing will...I've been with my hubby for 6 years and married for 1 and we are so unbelievably blissful and i blame this book--marriage is a serious thing and shouldn't be taken lightly--try everything before you call it quits!!

kmk2

it seems like you answered your own question. if you're not IN LOVE with her then maybe its not meant to be. i hate talking about divorce though because I don't believe in it, but maybe yall can just talk things out and set things right between yall.

passthevasia

Well its sad it's only been 13 months. But if your hearts not into it why waste time!!!!!!!!!!! Or play with each ones emotions/

Right Wing Extremist

Why don't you try to be a better man, you will be surprised how much you really love each other. Don't take the easy way out. Be a man treat your wife as a person with feelings, give her respect and you will be surprised at what happens

poophead

You can't make yourself love someone, but if you feel like you loved this person enough to marry them then you owe it to each other to get some kind of help to figure out what is really going on with you two. This is the only way to find out if you are "for each other" Ask Dr. Phil is the bomb on relationship! blessings and good luck!

you can always buy her a Marykay gift card or gift basket
www.marykay.com/rodriguez
free shipping!

WKDPIXY

If you love her you need to seek therapy to undo your learned behavior that is hurting her and make the necessary changes...if you're even thinking about divorcing her because your actions have taken a toll on her... then you never loved her to begin with...

Sounds like its been over for awhile. Divorce is probly the solution. Its not like youve been married for 20 yrs. If you are already out of love, itll only get tougher.

sonny

It's only been a year. Were you IN LOVE when you married? If you both feel the same way,,,,that you're NOT IN LOVE with each other, then seperate. Let's say, for 6 months. See how you feel then. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: