Leaving a guy that I am totally in love with. He likes me too. But leaving cuz it's a right thing to do.Right?

roxy

It sounds like you guys are in love. This may be the right guy, just not the right time. I would suggest just backing off until the divorce goes through, and then start dating slowly, and do it the right way. Unfortunately, love is sometimes found in these situations. At least he isn't stringing you along, or lying. He really was in a bad marriage, and it's really going to be over now. It all depends on if you want to end up being with him or not, but it sounds like you do. I wouldn't leave, I'd just step out for a little while, and let him know that you'll be there for him, and that you would love to pick things back up- but you have to decide how you feel about it first.

In my experience and from watching others, a good guy is hard to find. They all have problems, usually anger problems. The ones that weren't married don't know how to be in a relationship. I would not want to chance losing a good one that I really really loved.

fredia

why bother leaving now? you've been with him a year already.

Mr R

Probably a good idea.
But remember this.
He really "liked" and was in love with his wife too, and he ended up cheating on her, didn't he?
So, if you decided to come back to him later, don't be shocked when he cheats on you as well.

Amarante

It is. He will be hurt and confused.

He needs to deal with his divorce.

In Hiding

I've been with my fiance for two years, engaged for one. He has yet to be officially divorced from his first marriage. They have been separated for over 8 years. If you want out because you think society believes it isn't morally right, that is the wrong reason to end it. If you honestly feel that it goes against all you believe in, then stand up for yourself. But don't do it to please other people or you will end up resenting yourself.

openminded

Little late to do the right thing. Your doing it for another reason you just want to make it look good. He will cheat on you to ya know.

crystal17343

Why would you stay with a loser who lied to you? I just don't get cheaters rationale. They always think it will be better with them. Run. Run, RUN!!!

ling

Lady! Well done! What does not feel right is not right. Could spend hours ex explaining that but you already know.I dont know how he will feel, nor more than you. I am no help..but I would imagine that you taking control of your own life would shudder him (like if he acted this way) into some kind of recognition that you had feelings. Ok. this is my take. humans male and female take and eat what they can. You are strong, you like him strongly, you want stronger feelings?Decisiveness. Does he love me? I was never married ok and my own mother, at 65 told me that the married man i loved? She could understand him more than me? She spotted his game that he was bad news and she laughed cause I could not see what he was looking for and ultimatley, she ( who thinks you should never sell yourself short) advised I sleep with him and have an affair and come away from it. Cause I think she knows I love him bt thinking with her head. Like she gets him more than me? She sees him, she knows what he is, the occasion he is and she would advise me to sleep with noone but him.Sooooooooooooooo I would say, do what your instincts are saying, stay close to them. You will never regret them.What other people know or see may or may not be right for you so go with you.And I think you know, if he comes after you..sher twas meant to be. If not, then you initial hesitation was correct. So you have not lost the biggest thing. Your soul and sadly, but this is life, unless you are made of rubber, someone can.

leann

i'm sure he will be hurt if you leave him. just like you would be hurt if he left you, but he did LIE to you. because of him, you started the relationship based on lies. if a person is going through a divorce they need to carry it out before starting a new relationship. honestly, i know you love him, but he has reached out to you as a life boat. he needs to learn to swim on his own before he can be in a healthy relationship. and even if they were going through a divorce, he cheated on her with you. do you think that if you all start having trouble in your relationship he will turn to another woman again like he did with you to his wife? i just don't see how this will be a long and lasting relationship with the history and baggage it already has. my advice would be to leave.

Laura

you had no idea that he was going thru a divorce wow.. that stuff is stressful ..

bandaid_46

It is the right thing to do, but before you start taking your bows for being virtuous, it would have been better if you had done it the moment you found out he was married. And not looked back. You are still hoping to resume your relationship when the divorce is final, so you lose points there, too.

Lacy

i think that if you 2 are really in love it can wait untill the devorce is finished and he has had some time.

Nikita2238

Go with your gut, your feeling it's not right and your right. At first he deceived you, now you know and you still don't feel right and you want you want out. You answered your own question. Sometimes the best and the hardest thing to do is to let someone go that you love.
Think of how you feel first and foremost!
Your worth honesty & respect and someone who treats you like your the most important person in the world to them.
Move on and God bless your instincts are telling you what you need to hear....listen.

Giustapporre

I think it's sort of late to discover "it's not right" and therefore you are leaving him now. I mean, it's seems to me like you're already past the point of no return. It wasn't right before it got started and in the beginning stages, which would have been "the right thing to do" to end it then.

I'm wondering if now that he'll be available, suddenly you are afraid that now you'll have some kind of commitment with him and maybe that scares you which is why you are choosing now to leave it (but, using the excuse of 'it's not right' to do so).

Whatever the case, I find it odd that at this late in the game, you think "all of sudden" "it's not right" and are going to leave. I suspect there are other reasons or there is another reason that you are deciding to leave it now, after so long...

shy2008

Tell him that it bothers you and even though you love him, you must wait until he's divorced to pursue the relationship. If he loves you too, he will understand, and maybe the divorce will move along quicker. Tell him you'll be there when he's free to love you. Hope this helps...

Lori

I agree with Mr. R People tent to do the same routine when they hook a person in and the same routine when they leave them

Tsunami

wel its very sad when one finds out there is a marriage in the way. i to had a similar incident and we were both married. we knew and we because such good firends and then he divorced i did also and we married we were soul mates and it was so easy like 25 years was secons in our lives. it was good while it lasted i am not sure ho w yours will end because i dont' know the entire story but if you feel he will come to you then wait if not so be it and move on take care.

Holloren P. Rollins

ah.. nevermind my post..

(edited post)

Sicko

Why are you playing games with him. If you wanted to leave him in the first place than why did you stick around until he started the divorce process. You are sick to do that to his wife and him. If you really loved with him you would stay with him not just start something...and cunningly walk out of it until the storm is over. He should leave you.

Ginny

He'll probably be a little mad and confused at first. But, then once his divorce is final, you guys will probably get back together. :]

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