Living together before marriage..?

What are your thoughts? I have lived with 1 boyfriend without being married or engaged. Now with my current bf I finally told him that without being engaged I wouldn't move in. Its not about having to be married, we can wait a few years that fine with me. Its just showing a more advanced level of commitment on both our parts. Showing our families we are serious. We are both pretty close to our families especially him. And we aren't religious, so that's not a problem for us.

I just wondered what all your thoughts on the matter. Any personal experience with this?
Additional Details
yuzva~ I'm crushed!! LMAO

Wife was the same way, we got engaged before she moved in with me. 10 years later still together

daljack -a girl

I think this is a decision that should be made case by case.

Since you've already gone through this I can understand you not wanting to do it again.

You can change your standards and wants as often as you like....you should feel comfortable with your decisions and if you decide to live with him it should be because it's what you want.

Orla C

I think it's a good idea, myself. I'm all for living together and dealing with day-to-day hassles as a couple for a while before making the ultimate commitment.

TheM's

I think you should wait to move in with someone until you are engaged and strongly encourage it after that point. It is good to live with the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with before tying the knot!

minou

After the catastrophe of my first marriage, I got a divorce. Then I met another man and we got engage a few days before we moved in together. We got married at the courthouse. Our first marriages were declared nil by the Church and we remarried in the Catholic Church. I have been happy for almost 18 years now and we have three wonderful children.

1selkie

I wouldn't.

Without the commitment, it's just playing house. You really don't learn as much about the other person as you think you will. Even if you live together for years before you marry, marriage is still different somehow. Living together beforehand doesn't make it any more likely that when you finally do marry, your marriage will succeed. I don't have links, but studies have been done that show that people who live together before marriage are actually MORE likely to divorce. I think it's because they've never learned what commitment is. They bring that subconscious attitude that they can walk out any time right into their marriage.

You could wind up living together indefinitely, break up--and then have nothing to show for all those wasted years.

I think you're right to wait. You're right that it shows a more advanced level of commitment, and that you're serious about this relationship.

We didn't live together before we married, so I can't tell you from personal experience if it's better or worse. We've had a few friends who have lived together before marriage. A couple of them married after living with their bf for years, then immediately started having problems right after the wedding. One couple's divorced, one is about to.

Ashley

my grandma and pa they arnt married and they love each other.they arnt bf either!there just "best friends"!do best friends sleep 2GETHER?NO they dont!

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