Living under same roof as parents and siblings..they have not picked up i am married..2 months gone by?

This is a repost:

I recently got married to my husband February just gone. We were going to move in together after..however with the overload of university workload and us not realizing how stressful marrying during this stage would be overall. We came to an agreement that for now we should not make any movements in coming together under one roof, but strive to complete our essays and stay on top of revision with the upcoming exams by giving each other room. Then later move in..

We are both doing a joint intense degree. My course being Nursing and Social work and his course being Computer system and Network Engineering.

Currently where i am residing is with my family being my parents and siblings. However from the day we got married until present, I wear on my wedding ring.But strangely my family who usually question me inside and out and know about my relationship (well they know i am in a serious relationship but not that i am married), haven't question me as i guessed they would. They have seen the ring, i literally wear it on everywhere i go, but they have not picked up i am indeed married. Actually i am not 100% sure, maybe they do know...but will deal with me later.

Finally i was planning to tell my family since they have not picked up on me proudly wearing on my wedding ring after i have finished university next year and have packed my bags/ move in with my husband with all my belongings out that i am married.

I mean my family always say that after i have finished university, having established a great part of myself that i will be my own lady...especially of actions and no one can really say much as i have done the big chapter of becoming ready for the major life events. So in response to this i was thinking of telling my family that i am married when i have everything out of the house and have moved in officially with my husband.

I know there is going to be ROARING AND CLOSE VIEWS in the THIS SECTION IN REGARDS TO THIS..but to those who may not agree but are fairly OPEN-MINDED would you think it is better i tell my family when i am out of the house completely...with my husband. Possibly I inform them via telephone?

mandy_lynnn

Do you have a bad relationship with your family? Maybe they just think the ring is just a ring. I think it all depends on the relationship you all have. Why didn't you invite them to your wedding? If I was your sibling/parent and you didn't invite me to your wedding I'd be pretty upset! I'm not sure what to tell you.

h2ogirl

Well, typically, when people get married, it is usually held as a huge gathering of family and friends who come and wish to participate and witness your joining as a couple. Why your family doesn't already know you are married is beyond me and why you feel the need to continue to hide it from them is, again, completely beyond me!

Eman

Well...if you didn't invite them to the wedding, why on Earth would they think you were married?

Queen of Beer

What was the rush to get married and not include your family in the festivities? Something is missing from your post - the reason behind this? Maybe your parents don't believe it bc they weren't invited to the ceremony?

I guess you need to show them the marriage certificate for them to believe it.

Happy-2

Most people invite their families to their weddings. Your question points out why this is such a longstanding tradition.

serenity975428

all i can say is wow. you got married and didn't invite them or tell them. who does that. and now your still living with your parents as if you never got married in the first place. who in their right mind does that. my parents hated the fact i was getting married and my mom even said that she would try and stop the marriage. she did manage to hold her tongue that day. you should have just waited until after you finished school to get married and you should tell your family now that you are married.

Maddison W

i can't understand you!!! i would have to totally hate my parents to not invite them to one of the most important days of your life. when you get pregnant, when are you going to tell the they have a grandchild - when its 10? my parents would kill me if i got married and they weren't invited!!

mandieg512

I would think that if you and ur boy really love each other it would have been no problem to wait until both of you were finished with college before you got married in the first place. Would that have made it easier to have your parents invited or at least notified?

I'm really not understanding the point of getting married and then not living together? Of course I'm one of those people who believe it's better to live together for awhile before marriage to get used to any annoying habits you both will have, at least the ones that don't come out until after marriage.

You need to tell your parents like tonight! They did raise you and love all these years, so I would think they have a right to know about something that big happening in your life.

matzldy

I am a bit confused after reading all that you have written. In a nutshell, you are trying to decide WHEN you should tell your parents that you are married. Why would you get married if you did not intend on living with your spouse yet? Was there a reason for the sudden rush? Also, you seem a bit disappointed that your parents haven't said anything about the ring.
If you want the honest truth on what you should do, then here goes: just tell them already. You are old enough to make the decision and go through with it, and I can't see where your parents will have an issue with it. They will see that you and your husband are being smart, staying in college and all before moving in together, and I believe they will support you. Unless you discuss this with them, you are going to continue to feel this heavy secret weighing upon you. Good luck

Amanda

if you didn't invite them, why do you care. you don't care enough to tell them or invite them. why should they care

Grace

one did they not come to your wedding? you should probably tell them now or they might get mad at you for not telling them sooner

Gina Bina

Sorry, too long and too much BAD grammar to read. I find it hard to believe you are in college. Regarding the end of the question (I skipped to the last paragraph), you honestly don't think telling them over the phone would be extremely tacky? At this point, why even bother telling them anything?

Tracy H

One thing that really irritates me is that your parents are good enough people to you that you don't mind living under their roof rent free, but only good enough to receive a phone call about something so important. Your way of thinking is extremely cloudy and you are a very selfish person.Y ou are a grown woman and can do as you wish. Technically, you are only married on paper and additionally it seems that you are not even certain that this marriage is even going to work out. Being married and your studies having nothing to do with it working out. If you cannot make this work during school then I have no idea how you are going to make it work when you have to deal with the financial stresses, work schedules. I think you living in a dream world. Your parents/family want to celebrate your happiness in marriage with you, I just don't hear the happiness in your posting, it seems more that you want to tell them, "see what I did". Maybe this is the root of why your husband elected a separation--finding out you may not be the sane woman he thought he was marrying.

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