Living with partner and still feel lonely?

Wizzle

I say - ditch him. If you're already that unhappy then it is only going to go downhill from there.

foxy lady

If you have tried to communicate to him and hes not working on any of it and its been this long and he's telling you all these things that its you fault my advice is to leave him.he sounds like a dead beat boyfriend and hes not going to be a good husband or dad.you can find someone that will treat you good. and if he is saying that to try to control you then he does not really love you at all cause real love sacrifices self.As hard as it may be you should get out of this relationship soon. never settle for less then what you know you want in your heart. sure some guys not going to have everything thing you want but you can find one that will have most of those qualities garranteed. I hope I helped good luck with everything.
my crazy life

butterfliesRfree

Sounds like he was only out for the catch and once he got it, he doesn't want it anymore (that is quite common actually in some men). If I were you, I'd move on. I've been married 25 years and it's never been like that. You should still be in your honeymoon phase of a relationship -- this isn't very healthy for you. Move on. Yes, it will hurt but l you WILL survive, you WILL get over it and you WILL meet someone who cares enough to show it.

Thomas

He doesn't sound very considerate of you, or your feelings, or needs.

If you can't talk to him, sounds like a dead end. Don't let him fool you into thinking you won't be happy without him, you sound pretty unhappy as it is. I think it might be hard for you to do, leaving him, but in the end it sounds like you will be happier wihtout him.

Jenny B

Well i totally understand! I know where your comming from. When i moved in with my bf it was all great at first then it wasnt fun anymore. Well, sometimes people move in together too quickly or you are arguing about silly things where it gets in the middle of your love that you have. For instance we got into our first apt together and we were always fighting about money and now that we moved out from eachother...and lived on our own with out eachother for about a year and learned what it takes ...we then moved back in with each other and never fight about money! I hope everything works out for you. I know the feeling. And you wish you could just go back to all the love you used to have. But maybe try doing something new with each other...like having a little fun. Or sometimes if your the person that gets what they want and then when they get it...they dont want it anymore...But DO NOT let him work you over and act like that no other man will make you happy. BC someone else will but you need to think about what is really not making you happy. DO you miss being single...or do you really love him or...best of luck

Enchantress38

I was in a relationship exactly like this. He put his work first before the relationship. And in time the relationship died. It's like a car... you have to keep it tuned to keep it running. So tell him that without constant care, the relationship can't work, no matter how much you want to be with him. You are sad and lonely, and he's not meeting your needs. Start slowly. Ask him for a few hours of time a week on the weekends. That's not unreasonable. Tell him that in those few hours of time you have together you won't be talking about work, or bills or your unhappiness and loneliness. It's purely time together to reconnect as a couple. It's your "fun" time together. Do the kind of things you used to do when you dated. But get out of the house! Then let him do whatever he wants, even if that's sleeping the rest of the time. Then if he still doesn't want to do that, you need to reasses this relationship and what you want out of it. As sad as it is, if he doesn't want to meet your needs, can you really be happy together? Even though you love him, you are lonely with him aren't you? Is it going to be worse when you are alone? I don't think so... But only you can answer that question. This isn't an easy thing to go through. I wish you luck...

muffin

I agree with wizzle - He is doing what is commonly known as "taking you for granted", Seems like he may have been lazy in the first place-got tired of dating, and felt like it would be to his advantage to just "have you around the house". The arguing is another ploy to confuse you , keep you on guard, and dominite. This is the oldest trick in the book....move on! There is someone out there that will appreciate you and bring you the joy you deserve! You only live once.

oh really

Make a List. Write down all of the good things he does for you on one side and all of the bad on the other. Which side is bigger? Chances are if he doesn't pay you the attention you need, he is probably not the one for you. Yesterday and tomorrow kind of don't matter, who he could be or what he might do or what he did or how he used to feel. It is all about today and how he treats you today. If it is not good, pack up your stuff and move away. Men who try to make it seem like it's your fault and handicap you from leaving with verbal beat downs are usually abusive.

My advice is that you gather all your emotional strength and leave him without looking back. You can find better easily.

Computer Guy

Are you still there? You deserve someone who appreciates you.

just james

How long were you guys together before you moved in together? To be healthy you have to be together for a very good amount of time. I'm sorry to say, he got bored. He just doesn't want to confront you about it, or he just doesn't care. sorry. maybe its time for a break. I'm sure you like him very much. but you have to move back out. give yourselves some distance. maybe things will pick up again. but only maybe. I'm sorry but it might be over. wish you the best.

SadieBaby

Try to calmly explain to him how you are feeling. If it continues to make it seem like it's your fault, tell him that it isn't. Tell him that you know he works hard, and you appreciate it. Let him know you miss him, and try to work out small events to do on the weekends, like renting a movie or playing a game. If he really cares about you, he'll be more than willing to cooperate and find time for you. :)

Jinxy

I'm in the same boat as you but I've been with mine for 5yrs. I have know idea what to do either.
Good luck with what ever you decide.

dances with unicorns

Move on; it won't get any better if he's not willing to listen to you. Find someone who is going to be actively part of a relationship, instead of someone just existing. The sooner you're out, the better off you'll be.

Jax

it's hard living together when there is no commitment of marriage...sounds like he's too comfortable. did you ever hear the saying "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? i say move out but continue the relationship...you'll see him jump and start making an effort!

cobrasnake

Tell him about what you think,ask him how to solve this situation,together.Communication is the key in all relationships.

noseygirl

Looks like your getting too comfortable around each other and it's making him bored of you. Your like friends, not partners. You will need to move out and give each other some space and if that doesn't work, then move on.

DimBlonde

MOVE ON

Sesoid

It seems like he is turning things around and manipulating you somehow. Please, dont fall in this game, its not good for a relationship. A good relationship is based in armony, understanding, being able to talk about feelings and overall, sharing quality time together. If you are not getting that now, that you have been living together only for 5 months, then I would say you need to move on.

Sometimes we know what we need to do, but we dont know how to do it. I hope you find they way out of your situation.

Good luck!

peachmelba

maybe you just wasnt ready to move in with him yet! moving in with someone is a huge step and it takes some getting used to and some times it's hard work, for some reason they dont make as much of an effort as they did when you lived apart and i think it's probably that, that your missing,

you dont have to live together to have a great relationship and the honeymoon period can last for as long as you want, talk to him, tell him living together isnt quite working for you and why, move out and see if the relationship improves if it does, give it time and when YOUR ready move back in but there really is no rush, if the relationship doesnt improve in time or the bad things outway the good then move on!

joecool

butterflies and Mel_rose are both right:)
You need a healthy relationship and as much as most of us work and have busy lives, one thing that has to stay constant, and that is working on the relationship on a frequent basis. You need a guy that cherishes you and no matter how difficult the day, week or year he needs to listen and be there for you and be a source of companionship, physical included. You need to be the same. If those two criteria are not met then you are fooling yourself and its time to get out. Why not leave anyway he sounds like a controlling person subtle right now but it will get worse. I have men and women friends that do this and they end up having miserable lives. I believe you WILL have much more success in the future without him. Good Luck:)

Sexy Baybe

do you still go out on dates?

Kelley B

Whoa ! DUMP HIM !

bre

i felt the same way.... we went on a break, and now we are like best friends and were falling in love with each other again... i suggest it... but it is your choice.

Mystery

it's not working. sometimes it just doesnt. have a serious talk with him about how unhappy you are and tell him you'll move out if something doesnt change.

you WILL be happy with another man in time if you leave him, but if you don't have the strength or self esteem to make a clean break and move on you may have difficulties in future.

KnowItAll

Did he really want you to move in? Did he ask you to? Did he initiate the idea? or did he just say "OK" when you suggested it?

It's important, because if your moving in was honestly totally his idea then I think he has just relaxed to the point of stupor. But if it was really your idea (to which he simply agreed) then I think he is regretting it like mad and is now trying the age-old technique of making you dump him, by being boring and horrible.

If you feel single, time to start acting single! Go out 4 nights this week, come home late, don't check-in with him, treat him like a lodger. Don't initiate any more talks, they just make you look insecure. If you're that annoyed, you should ACT. A few weeks of you acting like the beautiful, glkamorous singleton will shake him up enough to start appreciating you.

Sorry you had to go through this. Chin up!

starlight

That's because you are not in God's will.....
Repent of your sins and ask God to lead your activities and part from this person you are with.....
Pray a lot and God does answer prayer....it is the path to happiness.....
You can be single and be very happy when you are in the right connection with God because first of all we are all married to him.......we are the bride of Christ......
We should be faithful to him and make him happy....God I mean....
Is this foreign talk to you? That's because you are not married to him yet.....
No he does not care if you are married to him and someone else because our marriage with him is obedience to his will and an intimate relationship with him a part from the physical aspects.....Our spirits are united with his....

shelly

let him move out for a while and go on that datin again

â™¥ Glitterbomb â™¥

find a place of your own, you can still see him, but you can also see other men? after all if you are independant you are more of a free agent, you never know it mite put a spark back in your lives having an air of mystery? He sounds so boring like 80% of men when you live wiv em, this is why so many women are choosing to live apart

scout out

I just came through a rough patch with my husband of 8 years. I love him a lot, he's a good man, but sometimes I get so tired of making dinner every night then watching him drift in and out of sleep for 4 hours, until he gets up, does some "chores", then more naps until bed at 1 a.m. I get really lonely too. And frustrated. I've tried everything. Patience, getting upset, looking for things to keep his interest... nothing changes the pattern. I work all day too, and how is it I have energy and he doesn't? I guess when it comes down to it, we have to either accept it and if not love it, then learn to live with it, or decide to go. For me, the good stuff outweighed the bad and I just try to work around it. Make the most of it. He helps me (with some stuff), if I need him, he's there (groggy, but there), and life would be harder without him. So weigh you're options. If you stay, you WILL have good days and bad. But honestly, I think what you've got is a normal man. There's a lot of women in the same boat. Since I found yahoo answers, at least I've got a quiet hobby while the hubby sleeps :-) !!! oh well.

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