Lonely married people. Do you think you are lonely because you are married or is it because?

Georgio (I'm a dude)

I believe I became lonely because of marriage. It's always been all about wifey. Good ol wifey. Don't get me wrong, I don't' hate wifey...but marriage in all its glory.

I became lost in marriage for a good long decade. I forgot how to make friends, how to socialize, how to have fun....thus I became restless

Marriage truly is stifling to the human experience.

Riverrat715

I don't care if you are married or not, you should never depend on someone else to make you whole. We are all independent individuals. We come into this world alone and we leave it alone so we should build on our own strengths. It is good to have separate likes and dislikes. You do not have to do every thing together. Doing things on your own makes the things you do together that much more special.

Douglas B

With my ex I had a lot of expectations that she was going to make me whole and I was in for a big surprise. After a lot of help I was given the key to being happy myself, to meet the world on my terms and to show my partner I didn't need her to make me happy, I already was. That has been the biggest thing I learned, to do it for myself instead of thinking someone else was going to do it for me. I won't let someone else be in control of my emotions like that again, they are mine and I have that control, nobody else. I hope that has shed some light on what you are looking for.

Psycho Therapist

I think it's actually both for very different reasons. Depends on the personality type. Sadly, I have a very addictive personality. So, my other half was my best friend, my love, my everything. Being that we just recently separated, I feel completely devastated. The loneliness is on some days quite unbearable. To the point that I don't even want to get out of bed. But, I make myself do things I know I should anyway. I get up. I keep going. Because I want to be my own person, I used to be my own person. We were separate once. Turns out, this is the reason for our separation. Too much stress on him to perform the task of being all these different roles in my life. And I must say, I finally understand. Which helps it not hurt so much.

There are people who have chosen the wrong partner period. And so are lonely because their partner couldn't care less what they feel.

Given a choice between the 2, guess my scenario isn't that bad. I say love yourself, know yourself, and forever be true to yourself. So,,,when you find that special person, they will love you for all the right reasons and there will be no void to fill.

unschoolymomma

You make your own happiness. Yes it is too much to expect and rely too much on your spouse to make you happy and entertain you.

In a perfect world- in a perfect world.

Jazzy

Its because you grow and change. you arent the same person you were a year ago. You have to grow together or you grow apart. Your lonely because of what you said. You hit it on the nail. Wether you are happy in your marraige or not you still need to find YOU and choose happiness.

Lindsay

I am not a lonely married person, but I think saying someone else "completes you" is something from hallmark cards rather than what people really believe. One should really feel complete as a person before they marry, as in you need to know who you are or at least realize that you don't NEED someone to make you whole. I don't think lonely married people started off that way or even think that the other person should complete them.. I think it has more to do with a lack of communication or possibly a lack of compatibility.

Veronica S

I think being lonley is really our own "fault". As you say we cannot look to other's to fill us, we have to be happy with ourselves and then everything else seems to fall into place.

Eagle

What would it make you complete?. The wholeness always comes from within or inside. if you look for it outside will found emptiness. Is like a smile, as soon as you give one smile from inside you get another back to you. At least most of the time, or there are more chances to get an smile back by you 1st giving an smile. But if that sense, feeling is not comming from inside first is a fake, an illusion. So be careful in looking for wholeness in the outside.... is all inside baby...

Purple

People get lonely when something didn't come out the way you expect it to happen.You get lonely because you cannot accept things around you. And most of the time, you get lonely when you are not contented with what you have and you are selfish. You don't blame marriage to be the reason why you get lonely. In the first place, you got married because you were happy and you believed that you will be happy for the rest of your life. But you forgot the idea that marriage is not always happy. It has its ups and downs. And take that as an opportunity to grow. Just some food for thought - Never regret anything that made you smile.
But I can say that you being too dependent on another person is what makes you lonely. And yes, it is too much to expect your spouse to complete you. Although married couple are considered as one, each of them have different way of thinking, principles and more. That you have to accept. Give yourselves enough space, allow yourself to grow and make improvements and move on.
My marriage didn't come out the way I expect and I can say that I don't have a happy marriage for the last 5 years but I took it as a chance to make some changes in me to grow and now, I am a happy person. Praying help me a lot. It helps me to accept and understand the people around me. And try to give more and not expect others to give you back.

â™¥B@BY~GURLâ™¥

CUZ IM MARRIED

â˜… LILF - best viewed sideways â˜…

It's because my husband is an a**hole and I should've never married him. Everyone's situation is different so you can't stereotype.

sLeEpiNgpRiNcEsS

i think saying that LONELY in the words married couple is kinda awkward...
why?
because you and your spouse got married because you're in love with each other and both of you are happy just seeing one another..
it is not wrong if you expect someone to complete you or depend on him/her to make you whole...
for me that's the purpose of having someone by your side...
we aren't complete when God made us...
even though we're physically complete something's missing inside our souls and that is the destined man for us..
if you're worried that you are over-dependent with your spouse, just think that God gave you that man for you to fulfill the missing piece in yourself...

and don't be lonely too.. everything comes for a reason... and those reasons should be treasured like... coming of your man in your life...

marriedandamom

God is the only one who can make us whole and we should never depend on another person to make us happy, simply because that is not even possible. If you don't believe in God or aren't "in to that", then realize that it is up to you to make yourself happy. Only then can you be content in a relationship :) So yep, I agree with you. There are hobbies and friends and all sorts of things to get in to when you are feeling lonely in a relationship. Don't put it on your spouse to entertain you! OR - entertain him/her before you try to get him/her to entertain you!

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