Longtime married guys. Do U find it scary to get divorce and starting all over again from scratch with a woman?

Shannon

I wasn't scared, I was... lamenting the amount of life I would essentially lose. It would feel like I just cut 10+ years out of my life and tossed it away along with all the emotion and intimacy and good-times we did have over those years.

Then I started wondering... who would want me? I gave up on the mother of my children; would I really want to get involved with another divorcee whom you know already threw in the towel once as well? What chance would we really have?

So then I wondered if any younger or unwed women would look at me and be able to get around all the "baggage" I would be bringing with me. And even if I did meet a younger women, I'd have to teach her so much about life and marriage and I would feel like a tutor. I could start over again then and try not make the same mistakes. But ultimately why would she turn out any different in the long run? I wasn't interested in re-emotionally investing in another person for more abuse and heart-ache later.

Fundamentally I got to that I was the failure, and I had to change and the best person to make this change with was my wife.

J.J.

My husband just said.. he is scared of all woman..no matter what the situation is. He never wants to be out there again..thats why if I tell him to do something his response is always.. OKAY!

Silenceâ„¢

This is interesting... I want to see some answers.

shadjfl

I was married to my first wife at a very young age. We simply grew apart. I was hurt but not scared. My second wife and I married almost 3 years after I divorced. All was going well, usual pitfalls, but I thought we were doing very well until I noticed a lot of unusual behavior by her. She had taken a new job about 4 years earlier on the third shift to make more Money. Everyone, including her boss, others in her field and, me voiced concerns about working third shift and holding down a family. We hardly saw each other and when we did she no longer wanted to participate in things all she wanted to do was rest. Then the weird behavior started, coming home later and later, forgetting things, and she all but disappeared on her days off,
I asked all the right questions and got the answer I expected so I asked her to chose. Her choice was not to make a choice but in doing so I made it for her. After 17 years of marriage I asked her to leave. I wont play second choice or wait for her.

Am I scared? Nope! Am I lonely? Yeah sometimes. Would I do it again? Absolutely not!

I would so much like to have a companion to share things with but I cannot get caught up in marriage again. She can have hers and I will have mine if we go, we go half, or not at all.

Kind of sad really, all the rat racing and jockeying for position your whole life to garner material things and, in the end, none of that crap matters because all you want is someone there holding your hand when you pass on.

<Raised on Promises>

I think that thought is scary for ANYONE....not just men.

EternalSS

Holy crap this right up my alley. I was divorced in February after a 22 YEAR MARRIAGE. You heard me, 22 years. Can you say married when hair bands were still cool?

You know what? I was scared at first, but I just did my thing, and didn't force anything. It's what, April now?? I have a date tomorrow, one on Saturday, and stopped seeing a girl who was nuts last week.

I'm having the time of my life. It's feast or famine which makes it fun if you think about it. Didn't you get tired of eating chicken everyday?

Admit it, you did ;-)

barnowleyeseeyou67

I think SCARY isn't the word for it. I was married 19 1/2 years and she disappeared a day after christmas. No telling, no problems. Just disappeared. She knew I/she had said that we would hate to have to get back out there should one of us die. Or loose the other. Seems she did to me everything I had told her I was deathly afraid of. It leaves you COLD. Lonely-ness is a strange demon at nights. I cannot say that I can wish these feelings on anyone. I hurt to the core. and i swear that no-one kn ows what I'm going through. i cannot eat, well. I cannot sleep at all. I feel a total failure. I would never have done this to her. Life is done...thats how it feels..but worse...cus its real

Michael T

No, not scary. I don't want to do it though. I love my wife and family.

ADD
I do have to agree with JJ's husband though. I'm not scared of divorce and starting over. I am scared of women though.

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