Married and in-love with someone else? reasons this happens, what makes it definite?

Jon

Marriage needs work, it doesn't just happen. I have been married 25 + years and I love it, but do my eyes wonder, yes, and do I get tested with other women yes i do, but what do I do, I go home and make my marriag work better so i can live long with my wife and have no or little stress.

my nickname

WHAT!!!! You need to fix this one way or another! This is not fair to your husband. How do you know you're in love????
You probably think you're in love.

the_bumster2001

I don't think it's love, it's just infatuation. The love will die away and the love for your wife will return.

Laura G

It should be clear that something is missing in your marriage. I think little secret crushes are alright; but full blown love for another? Moving from marriage to another love quickly sounds like rebound behavior. Before ending the marriage, try to remember what put you two together in the first place. Get some counseling, talk to a good friend or family member who's had a long, successful marriage. Good luck.

You must have met that ho at the super market too. Man she got me bad and my marriage is gone.If you aint got a pre-nup then ditch the ***** and stay with the one that owns your balls.

BUTTERFLY

I'm gonna put this on line here.you're marriedbut met someone else &you're in love.The reason-you just got bored in one way or another& definite because you'll either not get divorced or the other person is in a committed relationship too.

mrs_pipesmoker

i dont know what makes it definite,but i know what your going thru. its hard and i'm not sure how to seperate the two. but know that you are not alone. :)

April First

If you are married you try to stay away from situations that could make this happen.

irunwithbulls

When you get married, you decide that you are going to stay with your partner despite attractions towards others that come up.

Through the course of a lifetime, you will find many attractive people crossing your path. A person outside the marriage is likely to seem more exciting and passionate, but as soon as you go through the trouble of a divorce, you'll realize it was a mistake- that this new person has all the same issues that make them a real person- just like your current partner.

The decision to remain with your partner is a sign of maturity and integrity. Attractions outside the marriage are a definite, but you can always decide to not give your energy to anyone other than your partner. It's all about you - are you willing to stop giving your energy to someone else and try to cultivate the love you once felt for your partner? If you were devoting as much energy to them, it's likely all the feelings would come back stronger than ever.

MrZip

i know just what you are talking about,been there and done that,there is know clear answer to it,period,you just have to work through it,but take this from me it is a sin what you are talking about,the day will come you will pay for it also,believe me,it is true,and the payback is much worse believe me,i know first hand,first off to help the matter you need to tell your partner the truth,there is know easy way to correct the problem,when you married your spouse it was for life,remember that,so you have yourself in a big jam now,so do what YOU think is right,not what someone thinks,you have to live with yourself,you have to 'fix' the problem,no one can 'fix' it but youself,the reason it happened is that is what had been happening since the beginning off time and will go own until the end of time hpoe you all the luck in the world and also hope one day you will have it behing you and you will be happy,you will be a stronger person

itsjust me123

I would be really careful sometimes you don't know what is going to happen, perhaps you could ruin your relationship with your wife and kids........it happened to me that way

Allura1114

When the thought of your wife with another man loving her holding her, doesn't hurt. when the image of her looking at you as you say your vowels grows cold. Its All Done and Said for.

Justmy2cents

There's really not enough information here to answer this. You are asking strangers who know nothing about you for reasons? Perhaps the reason is you don't have a clue what's going on in your marriage!

Lost

Then leave your wife and go with that someone else this is not far to your wife she loves you and does not have to live with someone who doesn't love her. You are asking what happens well you are going to hurt her she is going to hate your gforever and you are going to be hatted and I don't think you want that do you is this something if it was me would leave the person let her be and move on that it it.

FallenAngelÂ©Aggelos AbussosP3D

What happens when you live with one for many years, and you want to grow and change and learn more about life and your surroundings and the spouse does not? What happens when you realize that your spouse knows nothing about you and what makes you tick? What if your spouse is happy with never questioning ideas and wants things to always be the same? Sometimes you are married and realize that you have lived your whole life without being truly happy simply because you had no idea what "happy" was. Sometimes you realize you have lived your entire life for others. Then sometimes you meet someone who should have been "the one". Many reasons why this happens. not sure what you mean by what makes it definate

Drea

WELL FIRST MAKE SURE UR REALLY "IN LOVE". IF U WERE U WOULDNT BE WITH UR WIFE. CAN U IMAGINE NOT WAKING UP TO UR WIFE EVERY MORNING, OR HER WITH SOMEONE ELSE? THINK ABOUT ALL THIS AND NOT ONLY IN U. AND IF U REALLY FELL THAT UR IN LOVE, DONT PLAY WITH UR WIFE CAUSE SHES WITH U FOR A REASON AND DOESNT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS OR FOR U TO DO THIS TO HER. PUT URSELF IN HER SHOES.

isla

leave your spouse before hurting him/her by cheating.

Leopardlady

Work on your relationship with your spouse, and quit looking around. I suggest contacting your local church, they may have retreat weekends for couples. I know the Catholic church does, and it helps immensely. There are 2 different ones. One is for marriages not in trouble, and the other is for marriages in trouble. I've heard fabulous reviews from both sectors, many different couples.

slappingdummyman

Marriages are not supposed to last forever anymore; there is too much temptation out there. My advice would be to get divorced & start a Happier life with this new person.(I hope this person feels the same way for you.)

Oldmansea

Are you asking or telling us you are a cheat? some do and some don't...I used to cheat on my first wife....and I think it was all her fault...there was never any wrestling or playing around and you couldn't leave the lights on to see who the heck you was making it with....I think she would stick a maniquin in bed with me....at least it sure felt like that....and that's why men cheat.

box of rain

What makes this happen is you have low self esteem, weak moral convictions, and/or you simply have too much free time.

Keep true to your marriage vows. You agreed to "for better or for worse", so stick to it.

What you need to understand is you will ultimately be judged not on the commitments you make, but rather the commitments you keep.

Only you will reap what you sow.

Good luck.

War Games AM

There's a problem in your marriage and you're in love with what the other person representes: greener pastures that aren't really greener.

Take a good hard look at your marriage. Figure out what the problem is: stuck in a rut, bad communication, no communication, etc etc etc. I highly recommend counseling.

~**ThE oNe AnD oNlY**~

i no exactly how u feel.. except iim not married but i had a boyfriend. in my case he was so nice he was Mr. perfect.. but for some odd reason i guess i got tired of him , i wasn't smothered or any of that i was happy but yet and still something was missing, so i was confused and i broke up with him but now....... i feel bad and i no for a fact i made a mistake and i want him back so my advice for u is to talk about it instead of just making a big mistake..

upyerjumper

If and when marriage comes about the heart and mind think of the significant other. However, we are humans and others come on the playing field even when we least expect it. This is life in motion..there's nothing you can do about it. If you have feelings or emotions for someone other than your partner then that is a definite showing of your humanity and your own perception of it. What you do with it is entirely upto you and you alone. As you can feel it..then decide how you go about it. Talking helps a lot..talk to the one you are in lve with..what are the outlines to this and which way is it going for them? Ask yourself the same questions and then ask your significant other if it is right to follow your heart or not..remember that this is like asking for a divorce..but if your both up to such questions then go for it. You never know what to expect or who is around the next corner..its the same for anyone whereever in the world..male and female. No one escapes the love-at-first sight experience..at least that is what is stated in humanity books.

Nicholas B

to much time on your hands and dont show respect

Lemar J

One, you are married not...DEAD! Being married doesn't make you blind, or automatically make attractive men/women unattractive. You are attracted to othermen/women because you are attracted to men/women in general.

Now the In-love stuff...shame on you for ignoring your commitment to your mate. There's nothing wrong with being attracted. There is something else altogether different when you act on those attractions. The simple answer is: It happens because you allow it to happen.

Your question is like: Why do I eat the oreos when I'm on a diet? Or Why do I drink the beer when water is fine.

Now if marriage is just a piece of paper, then more power to you.

Sunshine

Reason - you feel neglected by your partner (or didn't see him/her long because of spatial separation) and search (sometimes subconsciously) for love somewhere else.
What makes it definite - well, at some point of time you will think - do I want new guy more, or spouse and say new guy. Then, its definite and you are in trouble. Don't let it happen.

rorybuns

A person can be in love with lots and lots of people. This isn't difficult to attain. Marriage isn't just about love, it's about partnership, which is much more precious.

teresa p

the reason this could happen is maybe you is not being for-filled at home. There is something lacking in your marriage and you may not want to admit it. You found something in the other person that made you you fall in love with that other person that you did not see in your marriage. So you have to deal with your own feelings about your marriage and the other person. Is the other person in love with you ? or Do the other person even know you are in love with him or her? Be real to yourself and the others involve. Life to short to keep people going in a yo-yo syndrome. Find out your feelings and do something right about your marriage and love. Do the right thing.okay

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: