Married friends keep Trying to fix me up?

Brianna

Your wife would not want you to keep that promise. If she loved you, she would want you to move on with your life. I bet it breaks her heart to know you are sticking to such a promise.

It's one thing if you still do not want to date or be with another, it's a complete other thing if you are sticking to not dating only because you told your wife you would never remarry.

Unfortunately not many are going to agree with you on staying single for the reasons you claimed. If your wife truly loved you she'd wnt you happy and being lonely isn't being happy.

You can have a sit down conversation with your friends who set you up. they just may be inviting along another so you aren't the odd one out and not for a romantic reason. Would be odd to have just 3 people or 5 at a table and does round it off nicely if another single person can come make it an even number. But if you have it on good authority that they are doing it for romantic reasons then you sit them down and explain that you are considering not going out with them anymore as you are not comfortable with being fixed up at the table in that way. Then if they do so again, stop going out with them for 6 months or so to let them know how serious you truly are.

But please, for the love of your wife, reconsider this supposed promise. Any woman who loves her husband does not want him to live alone the rest of his life when she is gone. I am betting your wife loved you very much and would not want you unhappy and lonely like this.

Mr. Bugsme

I don't think your wife - who loved you - would want you to be lonely. You shouldn't feel guilty about having a date every once in awhile - or having a full blown relationship with a woman if the opportunity arises.

Kari

Your question just made me cry! You are so sweet and you truly loved your wife with all your heart. I believe that she really was and is your one and only. If your friends can't accept that then find new friends. You will be with her again one day but remember she wants you to be happy so if you ever feel the need to re-marry never feel guilt.

Law

your vow was until death do you part. Your wife would want you to be happy.

Amber

I understand what you mean also...

If my boyfriend died, (we have a daughter) i love him so much that i just wouldn't have a desire to be with anyone.

but if you're doing it only for your wife... it sounds a little... like you need to be doing something for yourself... no offense to your wife.

Trey B

Your a man of your word and that is a great thing. If you think that your wife would want you to be lonely then be lonely, but if you think that your wife would want you to find someone else then make yourself available and see if anything comes up. I believe your friends want you to be with someone because its human nature to want companionship and some people don't realize that sometimes you just want to do something you promised no matter what. Or you simply don't want something that they want. Maybe you should get a dog. They make fantastic friends.

Jane Marple

Hun, in heaven we are not wife/husband anymore. I understand you told her that, at the time you were going through excruciating pain but imagine she's looking down at you right now, do you really think she wants you to grow old alone? of course not. Meeting another lady would not diminish her importance in anyway.

candyapplecat

Dude. Some promises are not meant to be kept.

Your wife would want you to be happy.

Sounds like you are lonely, and your friends are tyring to hook you up. That is perfectly normal. You need to realize that a promise you made 11 years is holding you back from having happiness now.

This is your issue, but since clearly you are lonely and unhappy I would consult a religious elder who will tell you that sometimes we make mistakes. Swearing celibacy sounds like one to me.

Don S

Don't you think that your wife would rather see you not lonely? If the situation were reversed wouldn't you have preferred to see her not live alone after you were gone? Your friends might be somewhat meddlesome but it is really a compliment that they think enough of you to want to fix you up with someone. If you are firm on never having another partner just keep telling them and they'll eventually get the picture. I do think you honestly need to come to grips with your decision however. To meet and date someone new does not in any way demean what you had with your wife. It simply means that you can spend some time with good companionship. Best of luck to you.

DANNIE M

your wife would not want or expect you to be on your own it been a very long time and you do have the right to be happy, the promise was made in a emotional time
allow yourself to live again, just try dating if it you do not find it for you then fine
Friend do this sort of thing to single it can be embarrassing but there heart usually in the right place

huckleberrymoe

Married people are bored as hell most of the time. They have no fun and are very lame. Setting up their single friends is their fun. They are doing it more for them than they are for you, trust me.
Just ignore it, it's not going to stop.

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