Married people: Were you in love when you married your spouse, or did you settle?

Ronnie

I settled because I was insecure and afraid, and I knew I felt this way well before the actual wedding, but told myself I would learn to love him in time. Well it hasn't happened but now I tell myself I can't get out because he is really a nice guy, our finances are tied up in a house we can't afford, and we have kids who adore him and would be devastated if we broke up. So I tread water, one day at a time. Some days it's awful and some days aren't so bad.

kielbasa7

Settled. The ones I loved, never loved me. The ones that loved me, I never loved. Life is like a torture chamber.

" And now I'm waiting for the end of time, to hurry up and arrive.
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you, I don't think that I can really survive.

Butterflycry

I married for love and I was pregnant.lol
I still love him altho we are no longer together.
He is an as-hole and a cheater.
But, oh well.

briandoogan13

I know I was in lovfe with my wife when we got married. We met online, believe it or not, got talking and ended up spending over 6hours a day chatting everyday for about 6 months, it was amazing, kinda like the old fashioned way of courting because there were no physical complications to ruin our time, we really got to know each other and when we met I know she was the one for me, I asked her to marry me shortly afterward and spent about 9 months organising a visa to move to the states from Ireland and we were married. Now I find myslef not only married to the woman I 'love' but to a wonderfull 'friend' as well, some one I can talk to and sit in comfortable silence and just simply enjoy each others company. Hope that helps you some what

bignmighty56

i love my wife very much, fifteen years later! things have happened that have kicked us in the balls, but we are still pretty determined to die with each other! so, till we cant do it anymore?

Nikki

I was very much in love when I got married and I still am. I don't believe in settling.

happy_mom_me

I was & still am very in love with my ex-husband.

Ã¢?Â¥ Va~Va Depp Ã¢?Â¥

I searched for 9 years after high school, and "settled" for a very nice guy that I am still with 25 years later. I would like to be free, and if I can find a way ( without hurting him) I will get free, and never marry again. Live together....don't sign any papers.

sparky111_26003

I was in love when I married my husband, I was his princess he my prince. Then I found out it was all a farce on his part. The true him didnt come out for a few years. Then the real colors of his soul surfaced and they are black, deep black. I dont respect him or love him now. Just feel sad and alone and continue to stay in this marriage because I now love my home much more than him and don't want to ever lose it. So he goes his way, I go mine. It's a lonely life, my marriage. I am waiting for him to die, with the kind of life he leads, it should'nt be long. Thats sad isnt it? But the truth.

chevy

nope i didnt settle. i thought this was it but the joke is on me. seems he has this thing for flirting with other women via americas best moble pics on our cell phones. but i just flipped it around on him and sent in my own pictures for him to run across. dam hate it when **** slapps you back like that.haha

billie_db

My first marriage I settled -- that ended in divorce. This time though, definitely DID NOT settle. Have never been so happy in all my life, actually didn't know it was possible to be this happy. :)

mdjarhead

My ex Settled, hence her being the EX.

BRT

I thought I was in love but later on in life I realized I settled. Now it's been so many years and can't seem to let him go when I want to.

Claire

My honest answer is that I was in love but I am not sure my husband was.

Because of the way he was treating me (cold, unattentive, yelling, distant, uncaring in any way or form etc), I got involved in another relationship that was providing the care, warmth etc, short after I was married.
This passionate relationship failed and I then went back to my husband and "settled" (he is an honest man, no vice, etc) because I did not want to be looking forever for "the perfect man". I had in mind that I wanted my first child before the age of 30 and there was no time to loose. My daughter was born 2 months before my 30s birthday!

I am not afraid of dying alone, I was just afraid that I may not have children (too many professional women wait too long and wake up too late).
I am not really happy with my husband but we have very strong links and I would so much want to make it work. I am constantly looking for ways to make progress and never certain I am doing the right thing.

jodie

Totally and completely in love. But, I did look at security and a future. People do not have to settle.

monkeyface

In all honesty, I think a large percentage of people do settle. They get into a relationship which becomes comfortable & they mistake comfort & familiarity for love.
So, to answer your question, yes I settled because it was a comfortable, easy relationship & why make waves by questioning it.

moonlit_beauty3

when i got married yes i did love him but now i cant stand his drinking.and he married me for the wrong reason because he thought it was the end of the world. very stupid of me to fall for that.

Jbcanfi74

don't settle ever

rossj12003

Yes and I'm more in love 40 years later.

Totally settled, I was 8 months pregnant with our twins.

carolinaz_most_wanted85

When I got married, I settled. There wasn't really any love there. He grew on me. Now we're divorced and I'm getting married to my fiance' that i'm really in love with. The feeling is far better when there's actually feelings involved.

angi8118

I waited until I was 30 years old to get married and I did NOT settle. I was and am still so in love with him that marrying him was the easiest decision I ever had to make.

buttercup

I loved my husband, but I was scared because I had been married before, for 4 yrs. And I did question myself, are you sure this is it.. do you really love him.. Are you gonna fail again. But thank God I was right this time. He is wonderful. I am more in love with him now then I was the day I married him. And I think that is what true love is. Growing with each other and learning to love each other more and more. I am so blessed...

ksr102775

I definately settled, ( baby came first ) I was never in love, sad, but true.... I thought i was doing the "right" thing.....I "settled" for over 8 years, finally divorced Oct, of last year. Ill never do it again, even if it does mean being alone forever !!

Coo Bird

I was so in love

cutiepie

I was in love and so was he. We still are very much in love and very happy. People should never settle.

pmcharles123

Would you drive a car that you didn't like if you didn't have to?

eyegirl

i was madly in love and it just gets better. i love him more now than i did when we married. i almost settled before meeting my husband, i wouldn't recommend it. i waited and the perfect man for me came along.

old dude

I was infatuated and in heat but thought it was love--We have been together for 22 years now and I realize now that "True Love" comes with time and appreciation of the other person. Knowing that she "always has my back", will weather the storms of life with me, accepts me as flawed as I am, and makes me a better person for loving her!

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