Married people who comes first- your spouse or your children?

robert.l.sanchez@sbcglobal.net

Absolutely agree. The marital union has got to be the bedrock a family is based on. This rock solid relationship is what makes raising children the joy it should be instead of the hassle some complain about. Of course children are needy, and the younger they are the needier they are, but you are right on when you say the children will reap the benefits of loving parents who take care of one another. They will also have a good positive model to base their future relationships on also.

Scooter

When it is all said and done and the kids are grown and living on their won all that is left is you and your spouse, so the answer is quite easy your spouse comes first. With this in mind you have to make sacrifices for your children's needs and be sure not to neglect them! Love and understanding is important and so is trust and communication

Ella727

I agree with you 100%. What better environment for your kids to be in than one where the parents love and respect each other and are in love. Couples who always put their kids first will wake up one day when their kids have grown uo and moved out and not even know who the person is they married. it's too eay to grow apart when the kids are the only focus and you don't take time to be a couple.

skygirlchristine

Spouse. My fav quotation: "The best gift a father can give his children, is to love their mother". Of course you love your children and protect them- but you have to take care of the "foundation" first- which is the marriage.

Sally B

You are right on. I spent my life hearing my father stand before the congregation of our church proclaiming the order of his life, first his love for God, then his spouse and then his children. No matter how many times I heard it, it gave me goose bumps and made me feel as if I was the most blessed and loved child on the face of the earth. My mother proclaimed the same order for her life. God, her husband and her children. The example my parents set for my sisters and I by their actions and feelings have paid off ten fold. But then I'm not surprised. When one follows God word he rewards them over and over.

gmguy12

For the house to run properly the spouse comes before the children. Think about it, who came first the spouse or the kid, without the spouse you wouldn't have a kid. Take care of your spouse and they will take care of you and you Both can take care of the kids together.

KitKat

I agree - there are times the children need to come first - when ill - hurting or troubled - but otherwise, although it is an unpopular answer - it is healthier for the spouse to come first (after God) and the children a close second!

jumiboo

i say the spouse because they where there first. and i agree with what you say

mypassions4life

Your spouse is supposed to come first.

jlowe06

I totally agree. A happy marriage begets happy children

Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo

That sounds great, and it is supposed to work like that...........

My husband comes first. He is the one who I will spend the rest of my life with when the kids grow up and move on with their lives. My kids are second only to my husband. We love and nurture them and try to raise them right so that they can make their place in the world.

darkangel

i think the both, but in the beginning the children until they are grown enough to manage themselves

elprez14

My children. My husband and I are both old enough to take care of ourselves. We have children so that we can teach them right from wrong and guide them in the right direction. And if we push them aside then we are not doing what's right for our children.

physandchemteach

My husband comes first with me. However, my children are grown and live on their own. That may make a difference.

pinniethewooh

Spouse first

sweetsandy81671

Spouse then children, Spouse is who is suppose to help you raise the children, if the children come first then your doomed for trouble.

Colleen O

Hands down whether I a married or not...the children. But then I'm no longer married either...LOL But my daughter ALWAYS came first.

lil_bibi_gal

well where im from you protect your child and take care of them because they dont know any better unless they are of age to know....but as for your spouse there are ways to work around that and there's always some one else out there.

Metoo

I agree, generally speaking, unless the spouse is being irresponsible and won't get help.

Chickybabe

It depends how old are the children...my children are yound so them come first. They can not take care of themselves where an adults can_

luvlisteningtomusic

I think kids come first only because they need us to help and support them and guide them through there life. You should always take time with your spouse as well that is very important.

ashley l

it depends my childern come first before he does but in some case it should be equal

Lucky 7

Depends, if you think your spouse is not treating your kids right then it's a parents responsibility to protect their children!
I vote children! They need parents 100% Love!

Msdeb gee

ALTHOUGH I LOVE MY SONS VERY MUCH AND WOULD DO MOST ANYTHING 4 THEM MY HUSBANDS NEEDS AND DESIRES FOR LIE COME FIRST TH ATS THE WAY THE BIBLE SAYS IT SHOULD BE

olderbutwiser

My kids came first in my marriage, but I'm divorced today too. If I had it to do over, I would STILL choose my kids over my wife.The kids never asked to be brought into this world, and MY loyalty is to them.

EchoAnn

I agree.

well know.. when me and my ex hubby was together i took his side always.. he would never let our children out of his site.. good daddy ,, right.. wrong..my children or aleast my oldest did not have a normal childhood.. she married as soon as she could and they split up.. i have learn that she is mentally ill now.. my child comes first.. the man or woman you are with can take care of them self the children you bring into this world when they are young can not.. i looked the other way for the older one but i can still save the youngest one

Xenia

Children come first, because it was your choice to have them and you are their legal guardians until they are 18. Your spouse can usually take care of his or herself.

Well, if my husband was sick and my kid but we only had enough money to take 1 to the doctor it is my kids ,.......... I always make my kids plate of food 1st. I would have to say my kids ,but that doesn't mean that I don't love or respect my husband .If your kids don't come first then I think you shouldn't have any because that means the marriage wasn't worth a crap in the first place.That is why we marry to make babies.

cheoli

Your children. You had time to be first in eachothers lifes before children and you will have time to be first after, but as a parent you choose to take responsibility to be there for that child to give them what they need to grow and become successful in their lifes. Example: Not enough food to go around. Do the parents eat that last slice of bread or do they give it to their child to make sure their belly is full. As parents you should be working together to make sure that the children has a safe, loving, nuturing home.

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