Me and my hubby have a different opinion on what a wife is supposed to do let me know what you think?

me and my hubby have been arguing a lot lately because he works and i stay home with are 2 kids he thinks that i should have to not only take care of the kids i should have to pick up after him ..now i think i should have to take care of the kids clean the house like dishes laundry bathroom and all the major stuff i shouldn't have to pick up his clothes and put them in the hamper, put his plate in the sink after hes done eating when he comes home from work i just don't know what to do anymore i have tried talking to him about it but he just twists everything i say
Additional Details
i don't want people to think i am winning i will admit i have my days were i don't do much but he kinda has an easy job he sits in a work truck and drives around a plaza yes there are some days he has to deal with little punk kids or grumpy old people but still ..all i really feel he should have to do is take the trash out and pick up his clothes and put them in the hamper i don't mind doing everything else i know its my job as a stay at home mom to make sure dinners on the table and the house is clean i have no problem with that..i just cant do it all i feel like a single person doing it all

jumpingrightin

That's good he has a job. But you also have a job too.

I'm a husband, and he needs better information. Print out my answer and give it to him.

Dear Husband,

While you have work to do outside of the home that doesn't mean you don't have duties to do at home too. Your wife is raising the kids. I know, you think you are too, but she spends the most amount of time with them and that's much harder than your job. Believe me, mothers are overworked and I know this. It's stressful dealing with children all day even if they are little angels. OK, for you, you need to get in the habit of doing several things to make a big difference in the life of your marriage.

1)After the meal is finished, clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher or at least on the counter.
2)If clothes are clean they belong in the drawers or closet, and if you aren't wearing them they belong in the hamper. Don't leave them on the floor or any place else. It isn't healthy for the kids to breath that stuff in either.
3)Every evening when you come home for work, you should spend a few minutes of what your plans are going to be to get some house work TOGETHER around the house.

None of this makes you less of a man. A man who can do the work, come home and also handle helping out with the house work is a real man. Hope this helps!

Julie H

I think you are a very lucky woman to be able to have the financial ability to stay home and care for your kids. Most women don't have that luxury. I think you should take care of the kids and home. That would include picking up clothes and washing dishes. Do you think a better idea would be for you to work 8 hours a day, then come home for another 8 hours of work at home? Go give him a hug and quit whining. I think he just does this on purpose to annoy you. Try being nice and smile. Most mothers would love to be home caring for their kids.

Aethor

I guess you could try to sit together and talk - he works 8 hours, plus commute time etc. So you add together all the work you do in the house - and make sure you count only work, that is, washing kids clothes and feeding them counts as work, watching TV with the kids doesn't count... so if you actually put in your 40 hours / week of serious work at home, then the rest of the tasks should indeed be divided between the two of you equally, and he should not try to evade his share of chores.

If your work with the kids comes down to 2-3 hours a day, then you do the rest of the house chores till it comes up to the same hours/day he spends working to pay for all that. After that, any remaining chores should be split evenly.

Backwards_Bob

Both work until the job is done.

Ryan B

There are two sides to this story and I'm sure we would get a different response from the other side. Instead airing your dirty laundry on a public forum try talking about.

diamondgirl8216

I agree, that's just laziness on his part! It's hard enough taking care of two kids, you don't need three.

Shannon

Too much attention on unimportant things.

He should should help out around home 30-60min after he gets home.
Play with the kids, mow the lawn, do some dishes, some balance between whatever helps you out the most and he doesn't mind doing the least.

To motivate him to do this... you have to love him.

â™¥SEVENâ™¥

I do pretty much whatever my baby want me to do. I get rewarded waaaay more than he ask of me. He doesn't ask me for much though. I just make sure that when he does ask, I do it, with out complaining. A lot of women feel that I have him wrapped around my finger. I know I do, but I got him that way by being loving and respectful to him. He also doesn't sweat the small stuff, If I do not clean the house, he doesnt complain. He knows that I get tired too.

boxmaker40

Being a mother is the most important job in the world. Maintaining the house and keeping up on everything like laundry and cleaning, and cooking is exhusting. It's much more invovled that any regular job.
You don't get to leave and come home. Your husband should come home and assume the job of a father and do his part regardless if he is working or not. When does mom get a break.

shyanne

i have to ask, how old is this guy? certainly old enough to father children. he must (should) have been taught as a child to pick up after himself, do his own dishes, laundry, etc.
did he decide to stop taking care of himself simply because you married or had children?
i do NOT buy the excuse that just because one works outside the home (for pay) and one (you) works inside the home (unpaid) somehow gives the other partner permission to act like a child.
does he realize that he is setting a bad example for the children?
maybe that concept will get through to him.
certainly because you're "home" you might have opportunity to do more of the things at home that need doing..but taking up after him should not be one of them.

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