Me and my husband just got in a big fight. He pushed me on the sofa and said you are going to listen to me now?

cougaroh24

If him being jobless and not being able to afford two cell phones is the worst of your troubles, then stick around and tough it out.

Maybe you can switch to a cheaper cell plan or a pay as you go plan that will be cheaper than what you have now and you can afford to keep both phones. Talk to your cell company and see what they can offer you. (If he really needs his phone to find work or something)

Try not to get on him to much about not having a job, since they aren't very easy to find right now.

See what your options are and then talk it over sensibly and go from there. To make a marriage work there has to be give and take evenly between the both of you. No one person can always get their way.
It's a partnership and sometimes it takes teamwork to make it through the tough times.

perfectlybaked

Well, in these economically hard times, pestering him about unemployment, something totally out of his hands and something widespread, would've brought an even worse reaction from most men.

I really don't think he is "happy" about being unemployed, so treating it as if it is something he chose is incredibly anti-social.

Nina

He is probably feeling emasculated right now because he doesn't have a job and you are taking care of the bills.
However, pushing you is unacceptable and he must realize this.

Has he always been like this or is it just since he lost his job?

ricky

That's a really good reason to leave him.

You mentioned him not having a job now? Did he recently lose his job? Or does he make a living off your back?

If he lost his job, He probably feels like $hit. Canceling the phone is a big slap in the face to him, because he feels like he's failing as a Man.
Job lose is one of lifes major stressers.

Make sure you tell him, in a very calm way that if he ever pushes you again you will not tolerate physical abuse and will have him charged with assualt.

rickrude

Right now U should be is Mother. Tell him to calm down and tell him things will be all right. Just leave him alone and let him solve it out. Next thing, try to get some rest. Because you wouldn't solve this out in one night or one day. Next thing don't tell him your plans about paying what bill. Pay what you can and let him figure out hows he's going to pay his part. If he throws another fit tell him you'll call the cops. He shouldn't threaten you at all. If he's really mad he should take a walk and sort it out. Be his mother!! because he's acting like a little boy.

Aisha

I know all these people who are saying just leave can say it

He probally really love him yeah? But your afraid to leave him?

A man making you do all the work isnt worth it but....its hard to leave
You feel your at fault sometimes and he's right and you should argue.

If he wants you to pay for the highest plan make him feel pressured.
Say something like Uh sweetie can i have 300$ for the Phone Bills? I have no money left.

Maybe that will click.but i dont know

If he pushes you, its abuse.
If you work try call the Police at work. and tell them your situation
since if you call at home, he WILL prevent any way of you getting in contact with authorities

Abusive men do the crying act to make you feel sorry for them and its your fault.
He wont understand that you cant have two phones their heads for abusive men isnt normal there is something wrong there

If you say i want a divorce that divorce word makes them like an obedient puppy but then 2 months later when that word is out of the danger zone they go back to normal

Best you cut the Phone from one and not tell him, he will ask why later but say I couldnt afford it so they cut the phone from us.

Its really hard, i know and im aware

My dad is abusive, with me, my mum, and my siblings
excpet he threw me out and disowned me
my siblings and my mum are still in trouble but i am not allowed to have contact
so i know what youre going through
also ive been beaten by my dad so i know the abuse situation too

Also councilling NEVER works it works for a while until they know your happier and then they go back to their ways

If you want support or just some nice words
email me

Take care

babycakes

You are doing the best u can,so if he wants his phone on let him pay for it,you pay for yours and the other most important bills and let the ones that are not important go cut it off if it is not a needed......But letting him push you and tell you what you will do has to stop and stop now....ya he is going to cry so you will feel sorry for him and do as he wants you to,i have walk this road and been in your shoes.....get out now because it is only going to get worse as time goes on.....jobs are far and few and if and when he finds one could be months from now.....and who knows what he will do next when he gets mad.....this time he pushed you down on the couch,next time it could be his fist across your face or worse.......you did not say anything about children so i am guessing there is none......i pray there is none....think of yourself and get out of this relationship before is gets any worse......best of luck to you

Bobsmith

If you are religious I suggest speaking to your priest. The church can be a wonderful resource for any problem. The economy is tearing many happy marriages apart. Try to be strong. As the good book said "this too shall pass"

â™¥i.heart.him

Call the police. If you don't feel safe enough doing it from you house, leave, go to a neighbors house and call. He pushed you and threatened you and is intimidating you. Get out of that house of call the police so they can get him out. And then stay away from him. I am not saying divorce him (unless he becomes even more violent). I am just saying stay away from him until he gets some professional help for anger management issues. Next time he may not push you into the couch. Next time he might ball up his fist and knock you into the wall across the room and hurt you severely. If you let him get away with this now, the next time WILL be worse. I know you love him, I know it is a hard thing to do but you have to get help. You can't let him do this to you. I have been there, I forgave and forgave and forgave for 7 years. Each violent outburst was worse than the last until I finally was hurt so badly that 13 years after divorcing I still have serious, horribly painful side effects from being hit across the face with a full beer bottle that was hurled from 20 feet across the room because I didn't laugh at a stupid joke he told. The nerve damage that I was left with made the actual hit from the bottle feel like a love tap compared to the stabbing pains I experience now from all the damage. We can't 'help' you. You have to help yourself but we can give you suggestions on how to do that. I pray that you heed the advice you are being given. I pray that you understand that this is a serious situation. I pray that he can't make you feel guilty for the crime (yes, crime) he chose to commit against you. It was his decision, his fault, his actions. They were not yours. Find your inner strength and protect your self. You have a Davine right to protect yourself from abuse. Physical, mental and emotional!!

Issa D.

Leave, but only for a few days.

If he actually abuses you, or does something which makes you scared for your safety, leave him for good.

Piggy

Ok, lots of tension here - and you're going to have to reduce it as much as you can. He may be acting like an idiot, but he needs help. Is he looking for work? Can you help him in that? If he finds another job, the pressure of money will be much less. Go through your budget together, see if you can agree on things you can and can't afford. Write out the plan. Try not to provoke him, remember - you DO love him, and even if it isn't obvious, he really needs you.

Hania

leave him. get out!

onetime

shut up or put up- leaving will just give him an excuse to do it in the future.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: