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Men i need your advise, long question kindly read and please tell me what i should next?
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Men i need your advise, long question kindly read and please tell me what i should next?

i know this sounds really silly ..stupid.... whatever.... but i need help
Little bit of background :
my husband and me had a fight last weekend on saturday. and during which it became so sever and he called me arrogant and said i am not like other nice girls and stuff. so that enraged me i changed his laptop password and then when he realized he dint have an access he was angered even more and he almost hit me. since then i am like let him apologise because i really felt it was going too far.. but he is been giving me silent treatment. in fact he is nice person and i don't want to portray him as a bad fellow to u all. sometimes in relationship one can bring out that bad side in each other when we fight and also the good side in love ....i brought his bad side by enraging him more.. i completely agree. i am so annoyed and to show that i am annoyed i haven't had my food from last saturday and not been sleeping in the same room.. (i am sure i will have ulcers very soon of hunger)..

ok ..at the same time we people cant be serious also in the fight . before whenever we used to fight, and stop talking for a day and then he would start smiling on the second day and then looking at that i wouldn't be able to hold my serious expression for long and then i would give up and give up the whole fight totally

same thing happened this time too. i did smile back but then i felt .. wth.. he did a a big mistake of pushing me and trying to hit me and i am being so lenient.. so i continued till today.. but this morning he left out and i was thirsty and when i opened the fridge i see he has brought beers to drink.. he never drinks btw..i don't know what he is trying to prove.. but what the heck.. should i just give up this time also and say what?? or just keep my mouth shut and watch all the drama.. ) i feel he is just trying to get my attention to him like trying to become like a drunkard and all)..you know i hate drunkards and instead of resolving the matter i may just run away from him..

i know how silly childish and sixth grader fight it all sounds to u all.. right from start he slightly has communication problem like he cant express his love in words and all ..really people i want to forgive him but i don't want to show my weakness at the same time because i feel i may be taken for granted again or if same thing occurs next time.. i don't know how to go about... what should i do next?
Additional Details
i am still waiting for the right ans ...
and one thing what i have noticed on YA!is what first person says .. the rest will get influenced by the first one's ans....
usually the first person rights two lines in a hurry.. which serves no purpose.. i even wonder if they read it till the last word.....
no offense just an observation... :-)


    




james p
Rating
it sounds like you need to appologize to him for what you did. Every thjing you did and tell him you want to work it out. give him a day or two to forgive you, and dont ask him to apologize for anything. he will apologize if and when he gets ready


smartypants909
Rating
Most men won't take the time to read this, its too long and men like it short and sweet. You act too immature to be married, both of you.


David
Rating
Almost hit you? Did you just fear that he was so angry that he was going to or did he swing at you? There's a huge difference. You need to apologize for being 12 and changing his password. He should never strike you (unless you hit him first, which I believe makes you fair game). Intelligent adults don't resort to physical attacks. You need to sit and talk calmly, without accusations, and tell each other what you know you did wrong and apologize for it.


Mordent
Rating
It is childish and pathetic. People argue. Be an adult and say you're sorry for what you did, but that you're still annoyed with how he acted too - don't wait for him. If you don't talk to him then that's it, your relationship is over. Stop blaming him, you are equally to blame.


kpopp
Rating
So you had a fight! What else is new! Did you really assume that you could live with another human being and not disagree and get into a fight? What happened to you is quite normal. But you got to realize that now that you had a fight, the next step is to compromise. "I'll do this, if you will do that!" That's how things work. You both can not get your way and hope to have a successful marriage.

Yes, marriage takes a lot of work. For more instructions on marriage check out my source.


Tt G
Rating
you changed his laptop PW just because you were pissed? LOL If you want my advice here it is, GROW UP.


Swanky
Rating
seems like he smiled and tried to end it but you wanted to punish him more. He held out and olive branch and you refused it so its back to war i guess. Dont expect anymore olive branches unless you're giving out one or if he's a really really nice guy..doesnt see to be if he's pushing your buttons. Best for you to extend the branch now and get it over with...hard times to get a divorce. Why would u want to change his laptop password though? you're lucky he didnt Chris Brown you, why would you push him to that stage and want to act tough now. You both said bad things yet u changed his password and left the b.room...you always push him extra it seems...not everyone has patience and only so much a man can take. You have to know when enough is enough. What to do next? Act like his wife and apologize, not because you're weak but because he tried to make up and you wanted to be the man and refuse and act tough an all that extra stuff. Just forget the dumb argument and be with the guy you love, you want to punish him? he isnt 12 years old, he's your husband...love conquors all and in the future....accept the olive branch and stop pushing him exra...he pushes you push back okay fine but dont go a step further why? for what reason? seems like you have a great marriage..forget the dumb argument..isnt worth it


bootsontheroad
Okay, he has a communication problem. You, on the other hand, have an anger problem. I am willing to bet we will be reading about you two in the paper real soon.


chivillry63
GROW UP!!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!!!


Big J
I'm a man, and I read most of this. You are acting like a little kid. "I'm not going to eat, or talk to you because you called me arrogant." Yeah, that will teach him. Grow up, Apologize for what you did. Let him apologize for what he did, sounds like he already has. Let him back on his laptop. And go to counseling, you both have communication problems.


munkeroos
Rating
I think you both need to apologize - and you need to be the first one to do it. It's absolutely not right for him to raise his hand to you, even if he didn't follow through. But, you changed his password - now you're not eating for whatever reason to prove a point, and not talking to him. He attempted to break the ice as you two usually do - and you've kept it up. The ball is in your court now.

Say something that apologizes for your actions, without excusing or forgiving his. You're not apologizing for causing him to react in that way, you're simply apologizing for the way you acted. Hopefully he will follow suit, apologize and then you two can talk about it.

And you're right this is all very childish.


Logan
I am sorry, but I am still cracking up that you stated he went to far calling you arrogant. Seriously though... you seem more upset by the name calling then you do from the physical stuff.





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