Money matter..who should pay for food and childcare?
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Money matter..who should pay for food and childcare?
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i have been married to my husband for nearly a year,been together before marriage for a few years.
i have a daughter who is not his,and he has two kids on his own,which lives with his ex.
my ex is such a coward that he does not pay childcare.
my husband do,for his two kids.
now my problem is,ever since we started living together,he never ever paid a penny towards my daughter's needs.
i did not expect to,when we were not married.
but i thought things will change when we got married,so i talked to him.but he gave me no answer.
and in this recession,his work cut out his working hours and he's getting less money,so asked me to pay for all three of our food.
if i could work,say when my husband is not at work,that is different matter.but as for his history,he is not allowed to be left alone with my daughter which makes it very difficult for me to find a job,as child care is so expensive...
i have so many worries,will i ever be able to have another child i really long for?
now my daughter is in infant school,but certainly when she becomes bigger and have further education...
with him not helping me with costs i am not able to save child benefit towards my daughter's higher education.
i thought this paying food and general needs things were temporary...but still goes on,even after he started recieving some sort of benefit to cover his lost earnings,(its three figure each month!)
sorry for long question,pls give me advice.
im at state of wondering if i should stay,or leave him.
Additional Details
thank you for your advices ellie and eerie!
i really should have thought of his history well before getting married.
it is true that i want to help him out on this difficult time in recession,but also i should think of my and my daughter's future.
with your advices i'm going to think what's best.
thanks again!
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ricksterl2003
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I'm not even married but me and my partner own a house together and when we get paid we split the bills, food, etc down the middle every month. You may not be in the position to do this and it sounds like even though he has had a pay cut he still earns alot more than you and so he should be contributing more. When married it should be 'whats mine is yours' he married you and should have accepted everything that comes along with you i.e your daughter. My partner has a little girl and she doesn't live with us but when she visits I buy her clothes and never even question the fact that our food bill goes up a bit while she is there.
As for your ex, Im asuming you live in the UK and if your ex does too then contact the CSA and they will sort out getting payment from him.
Most of all if you are unhappy and your partner refuses to talk to you about the things that are making you unhappy then you do not have to stay with him if you dont want to. No one has to be unhappy. |
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Katie
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Um, why can't he be alone with your daughter? That would be my biggest concern.
Don't worry about your daughter's higher education. She can get loans. Worry about putting food on the table for your family. |
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Eerie
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Leave before he continues wasting you only for your child to suffer in future |
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