Monster in Law?! I cant take much more.?

Well my husband got laid off work so we had to move in with my mother in law. Which she has always been real nice to me and said she liked me. While suddenly since i got pregnant, the tables have turned. First off, I hate that she babies my husband, picture this, my husband is the youngest child and only son out of 5 kids. My husband was raised by a single mom, so he kinda likes being babied? or so he acts! I never really had a mother, so this makes me sick to my stomach. Like he is 25, I thought you were suppose to kinda grow up, and not need your mom in all your business. She tries and tells me everything about babies and has hinted im whiny and going to be a bad mother. I dont need advice, first off, I raised my niece untill she was 3 years old from the day she was born. Ive had a pretty miserably pregnancy so far and she says im whiny, which i try and handle it the best i can, but its taking alot out of me. For instance, my husband and I was talking about moving to another state because there arent really any good jobs here in his field, he is a diesel mechanic, and trucking is a big thing, so they have to be out there. As always his mom is in our business and takes out a huge loan to get us on our feet, but that loan isnt going to last forever and there is no work out there, so my hubby just settles right in, and decides not to move, what about taking care of our baby? sorry, i dont like being on welfare and i am right now. i hate the way she babies him, and i know he is her baby, but my God let the man grow up and my husband plays along with this. In my world, we see family mainly on special occasions and they only know what i want them to know, but she knows EVERYTHING. She always tries to one up me too. Im going nutz. Is there any way i can get my husband to cut the imbilical cord from his mom? and why the heck does his mom treat me like this since i got pregnant? Im a good wife and i have a very motherly nature. i just dont get it. why am i not good enough for my husband, why does he need mommy for everything??? GRRRRRR. And dont get me wrong, my husband is very very very good to me. but when she is home, he hardly acknowledges me, he is too busy talking to his mom.
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I would never ask him to give up his mom, but i thought it was commen sense that after a certain age, you are suppose to leave the nest and not be a big baby.

rachelnliles474

Boys naturally develop a strong bond with mothers, and girls with their fathers. No matter what you do he will never "cut the umbilical cord" with her, and really you shouldn't ask. The best thing to do when it comes to mothers is always agree and always always go out of your way to take her advice, treat her with the respect she deserves because with out her you wouldn't have him to begin with. Try to have a healthy relationship between the two of you. If she is the one mistreating you and you go out of your way to make her happy, then he will see it and he will handle it. But he clearly doesn't see that she is out of line so she probably isn't.

louisrichardk

Your problem is not your mother in law it's your husband. Tell him how you feel first of all. Secondly you shouldn't have taken the loan from her. Money will break up the strongest marriage. This money is going to bite you in the butt you just mark my words. I don't care how many times you get pregnant. Then too why on earth didn't you guy's use birth control? This is certainly not the time to have a child with your husband not working. Your husband needs to get off his a--s & grow up. It's too easy for him when his "mommy" is bailing him out.
Sorry but that's how looks from this side of the fence.

Mrs. Heather Schabby

First off, I don't care what you have to do to pull it off -- MOVE OUT OF HER HOUSE IMMEDIATELY. It is NOT good for a married couple to live with anyone; especially parents. You need your privacy, and living with her practically eliminates that.

Secondly, you two are a married couple -- explain that to him. That means the two of you need to be a team, 100%. All decisions need to be made AS A TEAM, just the two of you. This does not include Mommy. If she is that much of an issue, you should discuss together what things are acceptable to share with her and what things aren't. Tell him this. Explain to him that you feel this is a threesome and not a twosome, and it's bothering you a LOT.

Let me tell you that my husband and I had MAJOR mother issues. It needed to change, big time. After we moved in together (before marriage) was when I saw the worst of the issues. It got to the point where I told him I was not going to be with a Mama's boy and if he wanted me around he needed to change.

Let's see. She called him 4 times a day. Yes, 4. HOLY CRAP. (Lol) Anyway, She was in ALL of our business. She knew what was going on at all times. It was like how a girl has 1 best friend who knows EVERY detail of her life -- yeah, my MIL was my husband's "girlfriend." Ew. It got INSANAE. She tried to control our lives so much. For instance, she had a minor exploratory shoulder surgery the 1st week of January (arthroscopy.) I had one on my knee before, and I was walking without crutches within a week. We had our wedding planned for February 17th, and she tried to get us to CHANGE THE DATE because she was having surgery more than a month before!! We refused, because.. well duh didn't need to change it, and she laid on the guilt "Well, fine if you don't want to change it for me I understand, I just won't be able to enjoy myself." So, the woman wore an entire arm immobilizer to our wedding to draw attention to herself over the entire night, LOL. I had the surgery on my knee and was walking without crutches a week later -- she uses an immobilizer over a month later? Wacko.

Anyway, the stories go on and go. The worst was when she accused me of child abuse for grabbing 2 children who were physically fighting and pulling them off one another. Wanted me arrested. Yeah.

Anyway, you do what you have to do for your marriage. For instance, at this point after everything his parents have put us through, we don't talk often. I don't talk to either of them by phone AT ALL. My husband calls his mother once per week (that's it) to see how she's doing. We only see them for holidays, PERIOD.

Sad that it has to be that way but she refused to change and she was interfering in our lives way too much. Marriage comes first, always.

Talk to your husband and try to establish boundaries when it comes to his mother. Can't be a mama's boy forever.

Trust me. I know how you feel. Good luck.

daisy322_98

You are so funny! I thought I was the only one so hyped up about an annoying family member! I blew up yesterday about how mean my sister can be and she denies it or justifies her actions. Its like talking to a brick wall! Hon, there are millions of women who are married to a man whose mother acts like that! It can make a person want to scream! I would just sit back and be amused by it. We shouldn't let our family members use their wacko behaviors to over power our moods!

RAGHUNAND

I do agree with your views.My mother is a monster law to my wife, but I am able to handle them both with extreme ease, and keep them in high spirits. But one should give credit to wife, and in the eyes of the husband she is no one and mother next.

DANNIE M

for sanity sake move out fast if you do not you will risk your mental health
it not a good place for you to be and if your husband not willing to go you go get a small place even if it a bedsit,if he not backing you and taking her side this is a sign of what is to come and believe me she be worse with the grandchild

your husband need to grow up and be responsible for you and his baby
Next time she says your whinny joke right back your so controlling and bossy and let it be clear money not buying you so just because she payed out money does not mean she the right to interfere

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