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Holly
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I think you should take your hand and put it at arms length and look at your palm... try it.... now slap yourself across the face. How dare you say, "let her have her wish", as if that is up to you. Just because she is a college graduate doesn't make her better than anyone... and just because he is a cook doesn't make him a lesser of a person... i almost hope that he doesn't marry her so he doesn't have to suffer with an in-law like you. Thank God i will never have an in-law like you. Don't you think your daughter is embarrassed of you acting like this... she prolly is thinking the same thing. It is not your bizz or your choice who your daughter loves and wants to marry. Does he beat her up?? Does he call her names??? Would you rather her be with a cook who is good to her or a graduate who beats her up??? Your ignorant! |
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sapphire
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Its her choice who she wants to marry...She is over 18 and can do what she wants and if she loves the guy then be happy for her. |
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noga
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Thomas Edison..dropped out of school
Ben Franklin..dropped out of school
Bill Gates..dropped out of school
I can go on and on..I think..you get my point. |
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mamamoon
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Her life her choice. |
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oscar and Lauren F
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You should be asking yourself "is he good to my daughter?honest?respectful?" If you answer "yes" to these questions than let them live their lives and keep your nose out of it. If you want to maintain a good relationship with your daughter than be supportive of her decisions. Also, the man works for a living. Who cares if he washes floors or works at a restaurant? As long as he loves your daughter. Plus, he sounds like an entrepreneur to me. Does your daughter have a job yet? |
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MB
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It's up to her. She's an adult. |
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tru_beauty601
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You shouldn't say anything. IF you do, you and your daughter will have a rocky relationship. If your daughter feels happy with the man, let your daughter be. Love is always before money. You shouldn't object. Your daughter happiness should always come first. |
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2Westies
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You need to rein in your emotions and keep your mouth tightly shut. If you start objecting you will alienate your daughter. She's old enough to marry whomever she pleases and will do so over your objections. |
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Cath
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Are you kidding me??? It seems like she has a good head on her shoulders.......she did finish school. Believe in your daughter and her choices. They are exactly that.....her choices!!!! |
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Aussiemum
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You need to let her make her own choices.
Nobody should tell someone who they can love.
She is over 18, she is an adult, so she will do it regardless of what you think or say. My suggestion is for you to be supportive of her life partner choice, otherwise you may loose her. |
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slmom
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She is 23 years old. Time to stop making her live your way of life. Let her make her own choices and be there for her if she needs you. Just because this guy is a restaurant cook doesn't mean he won't love and care for her. It also doesn't make him less of a person either. If she ends up making more money than he does, so what? It doesn't matter if you like it or not. You should just want your daughter to be happy. If he is operating his own business, he must have some type of goals. College isn't for everybody and he shouldn't be punished for his choices in education. If her treats her well and loves her, then I would tell her to go for it. |
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rivasj27
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She is 23 years old.. you have no opinion of whom she marries. |
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meg Z
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Well it sounds to me that your daughter is a capable, intelligent adult. Why would you object if this man is good to your daughter? It is her life. Does this embarass you or something?? Do you think that he isn't good enough??
What is funny about your question is I have a masters degree in nursing and my husband is a short order cook. Guess what???? He is the best man in the world.
Let your daughter live her life and don't butt in or you may regret it the rest of your life when she doesn't come around or let you be a part of their lives together. |
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Charles Athole M
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Dear Mom. My wife married me at the age of 23. I was a cook, cleaner and bar man. 11 years later I had 4 restuarants, 2 houses and 3 cars. Do you believe that people can succeed? I worked 20 hours a day. Bust my back and then some more. Never throw people away. I have been sworn at, spat at, laughed at and school friends joked about me. Now they eat in my restuarants, pay for my holidays and even buy me drinks. All I am trying to say is that we must motivate people around us to do well. I hate negative people. So have faith in him and yes pressure him a little into doing well. Maybe he will prove you wrong. I hope it workes out. |
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Judy
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You cannot choose a mate for your daughter. Back off or risk losing her forever. She has to find out for herself if this is the right guy for her. If he isn't, she will need you to lean on. You will want your daughter to turn to you in her time of need. |
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dulce_candygirl
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It is her life not yours. She is old enough to make her decisions and if you object you are only going to push her away. As long as this guy doesn't hit her, verbally abuses her, or treats her bad then you have no reason to butt into there relationship. |
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sharon ON
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She is 23 and must live her own life. As I stated in another post, society tends to identify a person by their employment rather than for who they are. Maybe he is a wonderful person who will love her with all his heart and make her very happy. That should mean way more to any parent than to have her marry someone of status that won't. Let her choose her future. |
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SnowflakeRose
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Your daughter is a college graduate. That shows me that she is intelligent. She is an adult and will make her own decisions. The only thing that will be to gain from you saying anything is hurt feelings. You should let her be.. Sometimes love has to work itself out. She should marry for happiness..Not wealth.. You being her mother should want this for her. Look on the bright side. He's a business owner.... You know your daughter will make the right choice. Sometimes lifes lessons are hard to learn. Be open to a certain extent with her. If she loves him you should too. As long as he is treating her good and she is happy leave them be.. |
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Mrknowitall
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She has to live and learn, and make her own choices. Anything opposition by you will probably just put a huge strain on the relationship, last thing you want to do is create a barrier where if things don't work out, she doesn't want to come back to you.
Be supportive, and try to be understanding, but respect it at the least. |
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♥The Mrs.♥
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She is an adult and will do as she wishes. Wouldn't you rather her be happy and keep her relationship with that be unhappy? |
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mary r
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When two people marry it is for love, not for how much the other makes so if she is truly in love with this guy you should let her marry him. After all she is of age to make her own decision and you don't have any legal say so in that matter. Good Luck |
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Stephen K
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She is an adult. You may express your feelings as to why you don't think she should, but she may doas she wishes |
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Liv D
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You should voice your opinions to your daughter but if she loves him she loves him. At least you know that they'll always bring good food to family gatherings because he's a cook. And this is kind of blunt but divorce rates are skyrocketing so maybe he won't be around too long. |
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J.D.
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tell them good luck-my moms friends kid married a cook at the bar. he now is in phoenix at a top restaurant with everything! if not -r they happy? if so theyll make it thru anything! me n hubby have been together since we wer 13. wer about 30. ppl wer against it! a little trouble thru the years with his bipolar (o.d.ed n cut wrists a few times) but he got help--but everyday im more in love with him n everyday he tells me that im the best n hes too easy to talk to! hes a great dad n hubby. if ur daughter makes it good she will see better people that suits her more shell get with them-till then she probly thinks hes the one. let her see-if u dont, she wont feel she can come to u cause of ''told u so''- if shes working with great ppl n comes home to a slob playing wii she get the point!--good luck!! |
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Praying for a 2010 baby !!!
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why would you have to butt in shes going to marry the guy not you if she loves let him you never know someday he might be rich and famous from personal experience butt out ... i am married now but sometime i feel that i missed out on the love of my life just because my parents didnt approve of him and now i regret it |
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marilynfsmgm
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if they trully love eachother then why would you want her to hear from you how wrong it is? she will resent you. let her live her life her way and just be there for her. if it goes sour then she will at least have you there to come to. you cant pick the men for her so let her be.so many people marry for money and it doesnt work. shes looking at him with love and thats the best way to start off. |
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njsmom1065
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just because her b/f is a cook doesn't make him a bad person if he treats her right what does it matter who is the bread winner in the family this is 2008 now |
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carol j
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This is going to be a really unpopular response , but mom, consider this: is she possibly rebelling against your standards? You sound worried about your little girl marrying a man who might not be able to support her in the manner to which she is accustomed. Who might be responsible for Princess wanting to p*ss you off? Maybe ...mom??? Do this : relax and give this relationship your blessing. If it is rebellion, he will be history in a month. If not, then maybe he is the one for her. There are much worse things to be than a cook, such as an abuser/and or alcoholic. I know from experience. |
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Jeri Allyn
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If your daughter is happy and in love it is your responsibility as her parent to allow her to experience her life and live it. Times have changed from the thinking that a man must be the biggest bread-winner in a house. Some women want a career and want to make that money. If your daughter wants to make money and be with a man that makes less money that is her choice. He should not feel bad for the job he has if it is a job that he enjoys and makes him happy. Money is not everything. You really only need enough money to pay your bills, love and companionship provides the rest, money is just a bonus. Working lots of hours away from the one's you love so that they can have more material things is not always the best. |
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