My Fiance is having a Cyber Affair?

stumpymosha

If it was my fiance, it wouldn't have bothered me until I read the part about him flying over to see her. After all, they are not going to do anything through a PC are they? However, if he wants to go & visit her, it's a whole different ball game. You need to tell him what you have done. Your instincts told you to check up on him & your instincts were right. He can complain all he wants about you invading his privacy but 2 wrongs don't make a right. You can't stay with a man who can do things like that, he is obviously not ready to settle down with just one woman. It's very fortunate that you have discovered what he is really like before it was too late.

the_memory_of_ashes

Break off the engagement. Yes, he is having an affair.

DejaVu

if you marry him now this is going to be the way for the rest of your life, it will make you feel worthless, if this man loved you he wouldn't do that on you so just show him the door and enjoy your life........i am sure you will meet someone who is worthy of you........but please don't get walked all over.....good luck....

Nobody's home

Take a hatchet to your PC.

littlestarr02

DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN, ...this is BEFORE you get married? then think on to what to will be like AFTER you marry, sod invading privacy, send her a mail from YOU voicing your suspicions, or tell her you KNOW...tell to to take him on fully or PI*SS off.

open a mail and leave it on PC,
go stay at a friends for the night...wait for his excuses,
and THEN decide.

I'd be packing my shite and getting out of that the very second i found out

bloody two timers

ani2525

dump that cheater

Screw his privacy, you are his FIANCE...you live together I assume and you are about to get married! His business is now your business....even more so when you get married. I would have printed out the emails and threw them in his face and asked for an explanation. I would also confront her, let her know that you know what's going down and let her know that you will not hesitate to mail copies of her inappropriate emails to HER husband. That will scare her. Also, check your phone records and see if they are calling one another. Either way, keep copies of the emails for yourself...they may come in handy. He will try to erase all of the evidence right when you confront him. Be glad that you are not yet married...you still have time to get out while you can. I can imagine how hurt you are by this...above all else DO NOT feel guilty for checking his email...you followed your instincts and found out that your Fiance is a liar and a cheat. I'm sure he would have done the same thing if he suspected you were doing something inappropriate behind his back. Confront him now and if you decide to stay together you should agree that neither one of you can use myspace anymore. It will only cause problems and suspicions in the future.

Mr. Bugsme

Dump him - do not marry this guy.

angel

It is an affair in my eyes...... Any thing that involves feelings for another person but you can't share those feelings with the one you love is an affair of the heart. Get rid of him. Confront him and then get rid of him. If he could ,he would act on his fantasies with this other women. Ask yourself do you want to be with a cheat ?because that is all he is going to be. You just need to thank GOD that you haven't married him yet. Get rid of him. Get rid of him. Get rid of him.

Carlette D

he is being disloyal to you, you should confront him now, and ask yourself this, do you want to be with someone who is deceiving you, it may only being on the Internet. But this could lead to other places, and also he could be spending this time with you, so think on and i wish you well

logsy_babe

If i was u i would not say anything right now i would see how long this goes on for. fair enough you should not invade his privacy but this time its a very good job you did or you would of been dealing with a lieing cheat. you will know when the time is right to confront him. good luck and dont let him work his way out of it when you do confront him.

crazyicklepwincess

I would defenetly confront him about this, its a definate must. Juat say you accidently came accross his emails and was curriouswhy he was writting to this woman so just had a look, and ask him why he was doing it. Best thing you could do as Iv learnt from expieriance is not to go shouting your mouth of at him. Try to be calm and get your point accross, make sure he doesnt interupt you so that you can finish what your sayin and then see what he has to say. In all fairness if he has done this to you, then you should really concider if you really want to spend the rest of your life with them, I forgave my ex for doing a very similar thing, and after that he saw I was a pushover and did it 2 more times. Good luck

scoop

E mail her telling her you know what is going on and to back off, this is completely unreasonable behaviour from your fiance. Its gone way past you needing to worry about invading his privacy, he has done something far worse and you need to confront him about it or it will eat you up. Im afraid it is an affair of sorts and its its difficult as they are just E mailing but affairs dont need to be physical. He is admitting feelings for her and in my understanding when you are engaged then those feelings should be reserved for your partner only. Also they are thinking about meeting up so its gone too far, if this was my husband i would be furious. Please speak to him, i really feel for you xx

talk to your fiance and tell him that he does not really know that women and no women with a good manner will try to get a guy who has a fiance ... that is a very cheap act and only cheap women does that
tell him that he is going to lose what he has for nothing.

and tel him that
A good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.

Marriage may be compared to a plant that requires daily nurture, daily attention, daily care and cultivation. It will not develop of its own accord; only as effort and will are exerted will it grow and mature. For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be committed to its success. They must build an enduring love relationship that is centered in the heart of their consciousness. Their relationship must be nurtured with the water of loyalty and love.

best of luck

oaklandolee

well so far he hasnt acted on it which is good. and he really can't cheat on you for the simple fact she all the way across the country. If I were you i'd bring up the situation in conversation like "damn the other day i was watching jerry springer and this guy was leaving his girl for some chick he meet on the internet thank god that only happens to trailer trash huh babe." see how he reacts to it if he just tries to laugh it off then i would keep a close eye on him. maybe it's just an internet fling but if he tries to defend it then you've got big problems in our hands. and if he does then i would confront him about it.

jaimestar64cross

checking his email isn't wrong ---opening his mail that's delivered by the postman is wrong and a crime.
What you need to do is be honest --- tell him what you suspected and you checked the email and found your suspicions had merit - now you want to talk about his feelings and emails to this other woman where he is encouraging(her affections) and he's mentioned wanting to meet up with her --- express your feelings clearly--- find out if he wants to end the relationship with you...
You didn't invade his privacy ( he violated your trust)- from the sounds of it you and him are living together --- everything is open territory unless it's under lock and key. Emotional affairs are still dangerous because they take the persons attention/affection/loyalty away from the one they are supposed to be committed to --- because if he won't commit in the courtship - he won't commit in marriage----

good tree

I'm going through same thing except hubby did go and meet girl and sleep with her. Stop it before it goes that far. I'm standing by my man because I can see that he is troubled underneath by bigger issues that made him do it. Suggest counselling, confront him, cut this woman out of your lives and stay away from chat rooms.

just me

Don't say anything and when she gives him her number or address, let it be you that phones or shows up.

Simply Lovely

Straight-up, ask him what the hell is going on? Do you want to marry someone who is doing these kinds of things behind your back? Girl, step-up and take action now.

caz

dump him

shorty

shyt con front him about it i would who cares if its invaden privacy,he would proubly do da same thing u need totell about it just say u waz on da cmp and u waz lookin at a web site and u accedintly hit a button and it went to the emails and u wanted t see what they waz about and you saw all that i dont know *lol* that the best i got

ange1magik

This is certainly a hard one.

Perhaps sit him down and ask him if he is unhappy in your relationship because you are getting vibes that he is perhaps 'drifting'.
If he says he is then you know he is lying! Unless you are happy for him to carry on having fun on the side, no matter how virtual it is, you need to confront him. Explain you are not proud of snooping but you have seen the emails. DONT challenge him just admit seeing them. See if he gets defencive. If he does he knows he is in the wrong, if he doesn't then perhaps he doesn't realise how the behaviour could affect you.
I dont agree with him doing it. He wouldn't talk to 'the girl next door' like that so why does he feel the can on the net?
Good luck x

Rogue

Confront him if he makes plans to visit the US-but then how do u know this girl hasn't visited him? You could leave him or spend the rest of ur life wondering if he's cheatin on u-have cheated on u or wanna cheat. You haven't invaded his privacy, both of you are friends with this women, just tell him u wanted to know how she was doin!

If I were in this situation, I'd give him an ultimatum.

chelsea19622000

Keep this info to yourself for the time being but keep a check on it. I would think very seriously about marrying a man who would consider treating me in this way.

emmaline

if is been talking about them meeting up then you need to confront him about this as in my eyes yes he is cheating on you..! dont worry about invading his privacy,you had concerns which turned out to be right and what he is doing is far worse...sit him down and find out what is going on

ellieannah

Do not marry a man who does this. Do you want to worry every time your husband comes home late from work?
Break it off and live your life. There are better more mature men out there that would love to email you!

juicylucy

confront him but tell him he was acting weird so u had no choice but to go in 2 his email tell him he would of done the same if it was the other way round tell him u were hurt and if he says there is nothing in it tell him to prove it and if he cant well then u will have to tell him its over don't let him lie to u cause u r going to get so hurt good luck and i hope everything works out for u i know if it was me id do exactly what i have said here

allason s

offer to pay his fare - keep the ring and find someone who loves you the way you deserve it

theblackwitch

DUMP HIM now hes a cheater...........................

Chewy Goat

Say he's acting strange ( be prepared to give examples) if he admits it and says it's just a bit of fun tell him how you feel, do not just say "you must stop or else" otherwise he may think you are trying to control him. Maybe talk to your friends or someone from work that you get on with but does not know your fiance. If he lies it maybe because he is embarrassed to admit it and and will stop it immediately. If it does not stop ask him outright. If he doesn't stop it then he's a tricky little F*****r and get rid of him. Life's to short to stay with a liar!

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