My Husband Is A Dirty Man?

He claims that showering would wash away his pheromones, which in turn would cause women to no longer be attracted to him. What a joke. I can say with almost 100 percent certainty that no woman would ever be attracted to such an ugly, fat, hideous man. Pheromones or not.
He has never to my knowledge cleaned his fingernails. I have personally witnessed him washing his hands a total of 2 times in our 18 year marriage.
My husband has his own bathroom and it is never stocked with toilet paper. He says he doesn't need it. But he does need a constant supply of rash cream for his butt crack. In fact he gets a lot of rashes in the folds of his skin. (he is very fat)
He is almost constantly sick and I think it is because he wipes his runny nose on his hands and then puts his fingers in his mouth or touches his eyes.
People give him dirty looks out in public because of his smell and general appearance. He looks like he bathes in cooking oil and smells like he rolled in some rotting fish.
I am 40 and he is 44.
What should I do?

Clevis Dillard esq.

So... this fine specimen of a man must really smack the salmon in great fashion if you stay with him.
Complain, complain, complain...
I'll bet you two play 'hide the helmet' every single night. He probably has a donut holder the size of a baseball bat and yet you're willing to give it all up because he doesn't smell like flowers. I'll bet your gateway to the guts smells worse than his armpits. We only get to hear your side of the story so jam your laptop into one of his folds and let him tell us guys about your stinky pork scabbard for a change.

YA is a sham

He sounds like a keeper !!!

No woman will ever steal him away from you.

ally'smom

Congrats you picked a winner

flipflopchick

tell him to bathe or your relationship is over

theamazingcoakley

RUN AWAY

curiouswhy

haha um, divorce?

L.A.

If there has ever been a reason for divorce, this is it. You are obviously extremely unhappy, start over and leave his sorry ***.

Melissa G

your married him what are you asking us for???

alexandria

eww
do you still love him?

RuthieC

Plain and simple. Tell him that if he doesn't "clean" up his act. You're leaving him. I don't know how you've endured this for 18 years.

Bibigirl

You must like it that's all I can say.

tincan62

he must have a really big weiner,

haha that's so disgusting. I wouldn't of tolerated that for so long I would of been out the door years ago . The way you described it sounds hilarious .

what should you do ? Whatever you feel is right. If your asking if this is a reason enough to leave I say hell yes because I don't know anyone who would put up with that .

April Golden

Glad he's yours and not mine.

amentofreedom

hahahaha. sorry!

Kal

Why are you still there? What's wrong with you?

Jaylala =]

explain to him that he's embarassing to be around. yuo gotta be kinda harsh or he won't take you seriously...

if its that bad, get a divorce...

SPW_83

THis has to be a jobke!!!!!!!! You're 40 years old and been married to this man all these years and you're just now asking someones opinion on what you should do? Yea right! Well, apparently you must like the way he smells and his filth because he's your husband. And I bet you and him have kids together so what does that make you if you laid with such a filty man?

Chrissy

Queer eye for the straight guy!!! Bar that, tell him how you feel. Tell him that his stench is horrific. Hell, have him read your post. He really needs a wake up call on this one. Maybe an intervention.

As far as pheromones go, tell him that his stench overpowers any pheromones. You need to take charge make him take care of himself. Maybe get his doctor to help.

This is a really a bad situation to be in. You have my greatest sympathies. But I suggest going guerrilla warrior on him. Take away his butt cream and replace it with toilet paper. Throw flour on him to make him take a shower. Put up full length mirrors near the door so that he can see himself. Also, if he ever takes a shower, make him smell his dirty laundry once he is clean. Hopefully he will get the idea.

charlesjerrell

give him a tongue bath

oracleofohio

You really crack me up...diamond..tff....I thought it was over until I saw her new name the other day....

baby face

He is not humen but animal throw him into river.

dman63

I can't imagine being that filthy. Stage an intervention. Tie him up (or just get him good and drunk) and take him to the local car wash. Hit him with the high pressure hose first, and then take the brush to him. You can decide on whether he needs hot wax or not. Then tell him to shower regularly, or the car wash is going to be a constant part of his life. His choice. My wife recommends divorcing him, and wonders why you've put up with him for so long.

littleGYRO

Clean that MAN!

David

Run, Run Quickly

Im just answering your question!

LOL Im sorry to be laughing but surely you knew this before you married him...surely you smelt him?!!
Obviously hes not going to change at this age..so maybe its time for you to move on. Or send him to one of those make over programmes.

tweety

1st of all I would be embarrassed to tell anyone this.You also have a problem if you stayed with him for 18 years.

It's clear who you're making fun of here.

I advise you see a neurologist.

CwboyBill

I think you should contact some circus sideshow freaks at once. He sounds like a shoe-in for his own show...

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