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jude
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any man who would leave his wife alone all night and u couldn't reach him is up to no good. give him an ultimatum, don't feel u have to settle for a life like this. he will continue if u allow it. what u do is refuse to be disrespected like this, if u have to throw him out do it. having a man do this is the worst. |
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the red soxer
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this should open your eyes; at least it's only one year; leave and find someone better.
if not, do the same to him. |
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Moty
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Did you smell his crotch?
Serious question, I would. In my opinion, guilt makes him accuse you of overreacting. He's not concerned or touched that you were worried??? |
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Jessie K
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ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY and this is happening? He WAS at a girl's place, there is zero doubt about that- and then he tells YOU off?
Without emotion, make plans for your new life as a divorcee- and get a boyfriend you deserve it.
And Pink, I totally agree- doesn't marriage sound wonderful? |
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Tayla C
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I suggest you and your husband sit down and have a long talk.
tell him how this event made you feel, ask him to explain and to explain carefully because you're not in the joking mood.
Express to him its awful thinking what may have happened to a loved one when they simply don't come home. You need to explain that actions have consequences and in a relationship he needs to understand that you are a big part of his life.
Let him know he's stressing you out and your angry.
i hope you resolve things
x |
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llazyiest
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In the old days you'd meet him at the door with a cast iron frying pan.
His reaction was bad. It's probably as you suspect, tho he didn't lose track of the time. He just didn't care.
Forget the anniversary, quit crying and tell him to get out. |
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pink_is_metal
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ask him politely that to please, tell him.
wow, this is why I never want to get married :/ |
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kaje
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uhhhhh.....can you kick him out? |
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Dont Let The Sun ā¼ See U Crying
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Aww,, thats so wrong of him.. your probably right about what your feeling. i know i wouldnt put up with it.. if he wants the single life he;s got it..when trust is broken usually it leads into ill feelings and its hard to trust again.your the one who should be acting like a total idiot.. but its obvious hes putting the blame on you.. :( |
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666
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Yeah he was with another chic... kick him loose. |
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skatie
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i feel sorry for u!try to talk to him again ask where he really go and why he came late very late imagine its already morning!u have the right to be angry because ur the wife!if thats continue do it also let him feel what u feel!!! |
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broken angel
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Well I must say that that is no way to end a year of marriage to one you supposedly love. It sounds as if he was trying to avoid you, but, then again you are a little hysterical right now (rightly so) and I am only hearing your side of the story. You and your husband really do need to sit and talk as adults and figure out what it is that the both of you really want. It would be a shame to continue something that isn't worth it and it would be a shame to end something over something trivial if that's really the case. If this is something that you two just can't talk about or come to a resolution about, this will be one of those repeating "bumps" in your relationship. Your husband needs to realize what he did is inappropriate for a man that is married and if he wants to go out that is okay, but, there are limits to what a spouse should stand. Why was it such a problem for him to let you know before hand what he was going to do where and pick up the phone right when you are calling him? If the two of you find a resolution and he does go out every once in a while there is something you will need to realize also...it's his time to go out and chill with friends and it's okay for you to call when it's getting late and ask him what's going on or when he'll be home and then leave it at that. If you feel like something else is going on and he is cheating on you then ask. Mind you, he probably wouldn't tell you unless he was being an adult about it. For now, don't feel trapped and try not to be too insecure about it and try and talk it over with him like adults. |
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ukamate
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Time for some down to earth nitty gritty talkin.....
No one living in a committed relationship comes home at 6.45am and answers an obvious question with "I was out" and expects to be forgiven and everything is ok, unless he is allowed to. By accepting his behaviour you are commissioning his behaviour.....its like telling him...its ok...just use me as your doormat....
You cannot feel trapped unless you want to be trapped.....to be the victim so to speak...to be free you must take back your own power....he didnt take it away from you....you gave it to him with blessings..."I was crying because I thought something had happened to him" ....deep down inside you knew what he was up to... your womanly instincts are finely tuned and would never let you down....but you have let him get away with it by acting like the victim....
Either leave immediately and go to a friends place or your Moms or somewhere you feel safe until you sort out what it is you want in your life....and what type of partner you want in a committed relationship...and when you find that out... do not compromise it one inch....dont sell yourself out again....stick to your guns and if the guy doesnt want to shape up then find someone who fits the criteria you want....
If the house is yours then tell him to leave immediately and when you have sorted yourself out with what you want... then if you still want him to talk to...then allow him to come talk to you....but never allow him back into your life unless you feel he is prepared to come up to the criteria you set...if you dont think he can...then say bye real quick...
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jashou @ lerry j
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you ask him to be frankly dear. marriage will longer if there is understanding both, but dont think to much. otherwise he will get boring of you |
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Legandivori
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See a lawyer for a divorce. He's stringing you along and with AIDS, herpes, VD, etc, you are at risk, in adadditiono his betraying you. As a former husband, I always made family fifirstriority and was a loyal husband and came hohomend kekeptt touch. Can't say the same for my ex wife!!!! |
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bigrobe
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You poor lady |
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hippie1234hippie
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There are times when i'm out for a couple days at a time, but my work requires that and my wife can call at any time to verify.
This guy is hiding something. |
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A real mermaid
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He's probably cheating. Sorry. I would probably plan to leave him soon. It is easier said than done, but he does not seem like he is ready to settle down. |
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irishvet
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a stag do is prob the best time to let your man off for a night with the boys. It seems like the most obvious time for him to cheat but it was probably all very innocent.
Do you trust him?? If you don't then maybe you're worrying for a reason. If you do ordinarily trust him, a night on the tiles with his mates is no big deal (though he should have texted you at least once)
What you need to do is have a night out with the girls, leave your mobile at home and concentrate on having a good night without him!! |
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Proud Republican
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Hmmm. Maybe you should ask his "boy stag" |
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ajf_asb
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I'm sorry to say this but after reading what you explained...those are tell tale signs of cheating. i know this because i once was a cheater. meaning i learned my lesson. but that is how i acted when i cheated. I'm sorry and i hope things work out for the best. |
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Janet I
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Is this the first time he stayed out? If it goes on, then follow him.. You need to trust,so do what you have to, to get the trust back....Good luck..Check his cell phone for strange numbers.. |
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wjs142122
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sounds to me like he was doing something he shouldn't have been. fight fire with fire (as the saying goes) go out all night long don't answer calls or texts and see how he likes it. |
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azores_isles
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He may have been at a stag party.
If it's not a common occurrence, then it's just regular married life...not always picture perfect, but much better than loneliness.
He probably feels guilty...you can take advantage of that. |
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Tamba M
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you should tell him about your feeling with LOVE |
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LaDySmOkE
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use your instinct girl, how many times he go home late?how often??
is he cold on you,espeacially in bed?did he talk to you more often?is he kiss or hug you?USE YOUR INSTINCT>>>>> |
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Enya C
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Oh my listen you need to do some serious thinking. Obviously since you said that he may want to lead the singles life. It sounds like you need an intervention which means sit him down and ask him if he wants this marriage or not. When one partner is insensitive to the other its time to put your foot down. Either he starts being sensitive to you and your marriage or pack his bags and just toss out front door without abandon. Better to find out his character now then a couple of kids later. Never too late to start a new life. Stand up for yourself. Crying is good but action is better. |
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jumbojett4
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I have been in this position and totally understand how you are feeling. Generally my concern is not so much that he is with other girls but more that knowing he is out drinking so late he has to be very very intoxicated and the worry about him and anything that may happen to him and anything that he may do others is just incredible. I don't sleep a wink. During the night I will think about everything from how I will cope if he has been killed in a car accident to him going to jail for having assaulted someone. While he nearly always calls during the night to tell me he is ok eventually he gets so drunk he just no longer keeps track of time. As I said him being with another girl is the least of my worries and while I don't intend on ever asking him to not go out with his mates I wish he would be a little more considerate of my worries. I guess you need to consider if him going out is enough to lose your marriage over? Only you no the answer. But basically I think it is just a guy thing. Remember they are different and look at things differently. Plenty of guys will get on here and say they wouldn't do it but once they are pissed it all changes. You may well find you leave your husband over it only to find the next guy will do it too. I honestly do know the pain and emptiness you are feeling but only you can make the choice. |
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Diba
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You know he was out cheating - the ball is in your corner. You can stay and tolerate his cheating (cause it will continue). Or you will serve him with divorce papers for your 1st Anniversary. Wow, it hasn't been a year and he's already cheating - something is seriously wrong with your marriage. Plus, he didn't even appear remorseful or anything. Which means the probability of him cheating again is great. Plus, if he was bold enough not to come home and not to answer your calls/texts, you can believe he has been cheating with her for a while. It just got so good to him last night that he couldn't leave. She was putting it on him & vice versa. Girl, get out NOW & go get a STD check up - AID/HIV kills. |
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staytrue
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IĀ“m sorry to tell you...but things arenĀ“t good; donĀ“t let time pass, you have to sit down with him and have an honestly talk. If you love him try to search for a reason his acting these way, why his avoiding home and spending ime in another place... get to the root of these before it get worse. good luck |
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