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My Husband has accused me of cheating again, what should I do?
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My Husband has accused me of cheating again, what should I do?

We have been married for seven years. In the past six months he has accused me of cheating 4 times. We have 4 kids and I have no time to myself. If I go to the grocery store and am back in twenty minutes, he says "Who did you go there to meet?". What should I do?


    




Hi
Rating
If you truly did not cheat... then it is wrong of your husband to assume you are cheating with another man. There HAS to be trust in a relationship... nonetheless it is purely vital in any relationship... I think you should talk to him and genuinely tell him the truth... and to trust you. Good luck!


LB
You should get into marriage counseling ASAP!
Your husband is having control issues. Why doesn't he trust you? Have you ever given him reason not to? Either way, you need to get to the bottom of this before things get out of hand.


Misty D
Sound to me like the "7 year itch" has risen it's ugly head. I'm a firm believer that if the person ur w/ starts accusing u of cheating out of the blue, there the one who is. It's a way for them to place the guilt somewhere else. Next time he asks u, just say, "r u cheating on me? u've been acting funny lately." Guaranteed, the conversation won't come up again.


roy s
gone ahead and sleep with somebody else! if you can't stop him accusing, might as well make him right in saying it and enjoy it!


calhoun9999
Rating
He must have a guilty conscience


alfa43diva
Rating
Call a divorce lawyer and call it a day because that behavior is suspect. Normally when someone obsessively accuses you of something you're not doing it's either sure signs of future abuse to come or he himself is doing it and can't stand the guilt so he lashes out at you. Either way it's not a healthy thing for your kids to grow up around.


chattergurl1986
TEll him you were meeting his other girlfriend, They usually accuse if they are guilty of it. Eitehr that or hell feel like an ***.


littleviv2000
The popular reason for someone to start accusing their SO of a distasteful behavior is because they themselves are engaging in said behavior and are trying to keep suspicion off of them. When the kids are asleep, confront your husband about his accusing you of cheating, and try and figure out why it is happening. Let him know that it is unacceptable, and you want him to stop. Can't advise you on what you should do if he continues because I don't know you or him and what would be most effective, but you should be sure that you are willing to follow through on what ever you think would be effective.

<<I don't know what to tell any woman in this situation, because you've done it to yourselves. I'm sure he just didn't begin acting this way.>>

How did she do it to herself? Taking her question and details at face value, this is new behavior for him, so it isn't like she knew he was like this from the beginning and she still married him anyway, so where are you getting that she has done it to herself?


silver_shamus
it's time for a big ole punch in the C***


Schwinn
Sometimes when men are cheating on their wives, they assume that their wife is cheating also. I'm a marriage counselor and I've worked with couples that this has happened to. If this just started out of the blue, then check to see what he is up to.


xzone fan..
Rating
go to the jarry springer show and do the lie detector and prove him wrong most of the time when men accused thire wifes of cheatting 95% of the time it,s the husband that is doing the cheatting.


~* Garden Empress*~
Rating
It sounds like he is getting jealous for no reason. 20 minutes, my goodness. It's very possible that he is feeling stressed out, or unwanted. If there is problems in your relationship, he may start getting this way because he feels you may stray and find someone new because of the marital issues. Just be honesty with him, and tell him how you feel about him. Maybe even a reminder of, why you married him, and why he is so special to you. That may ease some of the pressure he feels. If it doesn't let up, he needs to go see someone, about his issues and problems he is feeling deep down Marriage counseling, or individual counseling. That may help and get to the bottom of insecurity issues. Best of Luck, and just be straight forward. He's your husband and you can tell him anything, and he should feel he can do with you as well. Cheer up and Do something nice for him when he gets home. He will be not only surprised but, maybe even happy that you put the time to make him happy. Have a Good Day!


Stephen K
Can you lean into it and really make him see how ridiculous it is?

"Everyone; the box boy, the bagger, that girl at the Starbucks there, the meat man, and i see why they call him the meat man, the two Asian guys who makes sandwiches, the Coca-Cola truck driver, two of the three guys in the armored truck, the florist, the guy who takes care of the Rug Doctor machines and girl scout troop 341."

Once you push the envelope (and I do not know if you are able to do this) he may see how ridiculous it is.

It is also a statement that those who accuse are themselves guilty of cheating


Happy1
Rating
My ex use to accuse me of this, after a long period of being married. Turned out, he was the one cheating and he felt that if he was doing it and getting away with it, then I must have been too!! Maybe when he's away from you he's doing wrong. Have you looked at his "patterns"? Don't ask him, just be more observant.


tiuliucci
Rating
It sounds like he is cheating. It also sounds like he is extremely controling. He is showing the signs of a typical abuser.

I would seriously consider getting yourself and your children away from him.

Take care,
Troy


whocarez
Rating
Maybe he's guilty about something and that's why he's accusing you!!!


ronidl76
Rating
Insecure idiot. (your husband, not you) Don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell any woman in this situation, because you've done it to yourselves. I'm sure he just didn't begin acting this way. I'd worry about the behavior he's showing his children.


Jane Marple
Ignore his accusation. He has major self confidence issues, I hope he is not abusive cause usually those men are. If he is you know what you have to do!


master bater
you should try to convincce him that youares not cheating


Joe L
Rating
Number 25 on this site.

http://www.pcpandora.com/cheaters/29signs.php


golf4everdude
Rating
sounds like he's doing something he's not proud of. if this has not been a constant in your marriage and you know you haven't changed then something is going on with him. instead of getting upset about it start watching him more closely


mj
Maybe its him cheating!!! by accusing you it takes the direction away from him. from past experience that's what was happening.


Carol x
Rating
Jealousy is a terrible thing... for both parties! U cannot live ur life by the clock in hope of not starting a fight... unproven jealousy like this is a form of mental abuse! Maybe marriage counselling will help... an opportunity to talk about it with someone neutral!


Jen
Rating
Wow ... sounds like my xbf! I would consider getting out of the relationship. But since you have children together, you could seek counseling. Although in my situation, I tried counseling and he refused to go so I just ended things between us. He's still trying, to this day, to get back with me. But you definitely don't have time to deal with that kind of drama. Either he goes to counseling with you, or you leave. That's not healthy hun. Good luck!


Chanchullo
this sounds like a horrible situation to be in. have you ever cheated in the past? or has he cheated and now assumes that you are also cheating?
if not then it seems like he has a really low self esteem and he needs counseling...I feel you, you devote your life to your family, and then these accusations start...it's disheartening...good luck.


paz
Sounds like he has a guilty conscience. From experience, he might be the one that is doing no good. Just be careful and little more observant. I've been cheated on and have been the cheater in my past. And I used to do the same thing he is. It's easier to start a fight so that you don't feel bad because of your actions. If he's mad at you he has not time to feel bad if he's done anything wrong. But we don't want to go down that road yet. He may be just insecure. Has this just recently started?


Deja Blue
Talk to him about it..ask him if he needs to tell you something.
or try asking him to go with you when you go out.


EmK
Rating
Ask him if he cheated... He may be projecting his indiscretions onto you. He can't trust you because he knows what he is capable of/has done. Especially if this is a new onset without an obvious trigger... Talk to him about it. Make sure he knows how his accusations are making you feel and try to find out why he is so insecure with your marriage all of the sudden.


DMD
Sorry to say this....but that's a guilty conscience he's got......

Did you?????? joking.. ask him who called askin for him... watch his face


ny39usa
Several things come to mind, first as some of the members put it, he could be cheating and trying to justify his actions to himself. by accusing you of cheating. Second, one question comes to mind, Is it possible that he feels some neglect in BED on your end? Some men when his wife becomes too busy with the kids, she tends to neglect him and herself at the same time. especially if you where sexually active in the past, and your desires was reduced. Most men tend to suspect the woman getting her satisfaction somewhere else. Third question comes to mind, do you tend to over dress, or dress explicitly when you go out to the store? Which puts a question in every man's mind, whom is she dressing up for? Wishing you best of luck in your marriage





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