My Mom got a divorce and got married again, and she wants me to call my step dad "dad"?

Unforgiven

my hubby wante dmy daughter to call him dad or father or "sir." or something liek that, I was fine with "sir." but "Dad." not until she felt liek callign him Dad.

Kari

Be firm and straight up tell him that he is not your dad so you refuse to call him that. Hopefully, you'll be out of the house soon and off to college so you can get away from your mother and step dad.

The Lauren

Just tell them you aren't comfortable calling him 'dad'. He's not your father, they shouldn't expect you to call him that.

Honey Bee

Just tell them. Tell them you're not going to call him dad, because you already have a dad, and you feel like calling him dad would be a lie. Say you'll call him by his name or call him stepdad and you'll try to show him respect. But until you feel close enough to call him dad of your own volition, you don't feel comfortable doing that. Be honest with them. They absolutely should not be forcing this on you. It's upsetting to me that she got divorced and remarried within three months. It's clear something was going on between the two of them before the divorce. Just let them know that you are trying to get to know him, but you don't yet, and he's still practically a stranger. This seems like such a toxic family situation.

hayanchick808

Just tell them that you don't feel comfortable calling him dad because he's not. They can't force you to do something that you don't want too. Hopefully they will understand.

Rebecca

You should not feel the need to call him dad, unless YOU WANT to!!! Dad is a term for usually only one man and if you feel you cannot then dont.

They should respect your feelings on the matter. What I would suggest is to sit them down and tell them how your feeling, of course you need to be very clear about how your feeling.

I understand that your mother is asking, but dont let anyone pressure you into such an emotional 'name'. like 'dad'!

Betty M

Be honest. Tell your Mom that John may be her husband, but he's not your Dad. You want to have a good relationship with him, but he is your step father and it would make you feel uncomfortable to call him Dad and you prefer to call him John and refer to him as your self-father.

I'm sure if you were living with your real Dad and he got married, your Mom wouldn't like it one bit, if you called your Dad's new wife, Mom. That would be a real slap in the face to her.

It should be up to your Mom to tell her new husband that you prefer to call him John. But if he still tells you that he wants you to call him Dad, just say I'm sorry, but don't ask me to do that. I like you, but you aren't my real dad, you are my step-father and you and my mother should respect my decision to call you John.

Bernie G

ok that's what your mum wants sit her down and DO-NOT SHOUT even if you feel like it and calmly explain how you feel then if she still dont get it call him john anyway they will get used to it i cant understand parents who think kids can switch feeling about their parents and expect so much from them divorce an remarrying on such a short time frame is a bit much without the added pressure of the mom/dad thing be patient and just do what you feel is right for you if they dont like it then well tough

J.J.

just as you just did.. you say.. NO!!

taljalea

Since you did not put your feelings for your father on here I assume that you are having some kind of relationship with him. He is your dad. He helped to give you life.

Jon has no right to ask to be called dad. He just entered the picture and does not know you. Now if the situation had been this, had Jon been there since you were little and things with your dad had been different, I could see maybe calling Jon that ever present title of DAD. But since this is not the case, he is going to have to get used to Jon or stepdad.

Need help?!?

Just say you need to get more comfortable about the whole thing. Your mom just got married and your not ready to call him dad. Tell him that once you warm up to the idea of him being 'dad' then you'll start calling him that.

amyhpete

You tell them kind of like you did here. Was it your dad and mom that just divorced a few months ago? I think you are well within your rights to clearly but respectfully state that you have a dad and you are old enough to decide if you would ever call someone else dad -- something very unlikely.

"Mom, John -- listen. I don't want to keep arguing about this. I will treat John with plenty of respect, but I won't call him dad. I have a dad and would probably not call anyone else dad ever. It's no disrespect. I'm asking you to respect me [look at John when you say this part] by letting me call you John. I hope we become great friends and like I said, I intend to respect you, but you're not my dad, you're my stepdad and it's different. Thanks for listening. I'll be in my room."

Then leave, quietly and calmly.

I hope this helps.

Some people are weird about this stuff. I am 37 years old married 16 years and my mother in law favors my sister in law over me because SIL will call her "Mom" while I call her "Jane." I had a mom who died when I was sixteen and no one else will be mom to me.

In fact, it's my adoptive mom who was my mom and died. I've met my bio-mom, but I call her "Elizabeth" and not mom.

It should really be up to the individual and not the pseudo-parental units, or it should be a mutual decision but it should never be forced.

I hope I'm never a stepmom but if I am, I would ask the stepkids what they wanted to call me and suggest they call me Amy. I'm not sure I'd want them to call me mom and I would never try to replace their mom, but I might ask if I could refer to them as my son or daughter because that's the way I'd probably feel.

FionaKnight

Tell them that you're uncomfortable with that.

WOWZA!

I think you're old enough to make your own choice...I'll tell her aside first before you hurt his feelings that you want to continue calling him John and not dad.

Macktee

Tell your mom to stuff it. He can be called, John, Mom's toy, or d*ck h**d. If your dad is in your life and is doing his part to support you and raise you, little John needs to step aside

miss molly

Just keep calling him John until you are comfortable with him, if they do not like it tell them that you have a dad and it's not John.

rebecca r

Just keep it light, smile, and sweetly say, "Oh, maybe someday . . ." No one can make you call him Dad. If they push it, speak to your mother privately. If that doesn't work, try to explain it to John. If nothing works, just continue to call him John and ignore their rude demands.

mslady

I was in the same situation with my father and step mom. I called her by her name til i was grown til i felt she was worthy of calling mom let along step mom. I have a daughter she introduce my husband as this is my step dad but she calls him by his name my youngest calls him pappy and calls her dad daddy. it all depends on how you feel just explain to your mom that she married him and not you and it is going to take you some time to get use to him and when you are ready then you may or may not call him step dad or dad. that is up to you and don't let any one make you feel guilty of that.

*Astro*

wow, your mum just got divorced and now she remarries! That's heavy.

I would just sit down with them both and just explain that while you understand that John has taken on the fatherly role, you just don't feel comfortable calling him dad at this point in time. Your opinion may change at a later date as you get to know him better, but at this point in time, you would really appreciate it if they respected your feelings and allowed you to call him John.

sparkwing_dimond

You need to tell them that it doesn't make you comfortable to call this man dad and ask that they please respect your feelings.

Jude

Well, your mom is wrong for forcing you to call her new husband "Dad." I guess she hasn't learned that you can't force a relationship to happen between two people. Tell her that you don't want to call him, "Dad," and that you don't feel like he's your dad, and that you feel calling him "Dad," only strains the new relationship. Offer to come up with a nickname like Johnsie or Pop or something if she insists on being stubborn.

halo20@ymail.com

Say you need to get a little more comfortable with the guy and say that the guy you married is my new dad so why does it matter so i think it is fine if you call him john and not dad since hes not your dad know

old man on the hill

you might try explaining that "john" isn't your dad and he will never be your dad or take the place of your dad

you don't say how old you are. if you are going to be old enough to be leaving home soon maybe you could compromise and call him dad knowing he isn't - if it makes your mom happy it might be worth it

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