My boyfriend won't get a divorce?

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we live together. I have been happily divorced for 8 years and very happy I am able to be free of any more legal divorce crap. Anyway, my boyfriend has a wife whom he has been seperated from for 5 years. She so happened to cheat on him for the most part of the marriage and get pregnant by another man's baby. He continues to have her on his benefits and doesn't want to piss her off for fear she might come after him for more money. We recently found out she has had another baby. She has a reputation to be manipulative and has tried on several occasions to get my bfriend back. Recently there was a death in the family and she showed up for all the visitations, memorial and reception. Introducing herself as his wife. Meanwhile he was introducing me as his wife. He has said he wants to get a divorce but gets so defensive and upset with me. I just don't want to be with a married man and I know where I want to be and that is married one day. I never settled in the past to keep a man and I don't think I should compromise now. I can wait a little while but there is always going to be that fear she will be vendictive and fight him for more money...who knows. To me "better the devil you know than don't know". She may not do anything. Who knows..I'm frustrated. I try not to bother me but the whole funeral thing through me over the edge. Anyone have any experience with this?

Honey, I was in the same boat but with a different Cpt! My husband and I met while he was still married. A week after meeting, he told his then wife that he wanted a divorce. We were in Texas and she flew from California to confront him. He sent her packing. She became pregnant about three months later and by law, the child was considered his until a DNA test proved otherwise. He could not continue divorce proceedings until after the DNA test was concluded. He payed her a monthly allotment the for a year and a half! She has given so much grief, it's ridiculous. She committed forgery, perjury and slander. She is vindictive and a b****. And just to let you know, I wasn't the home wrecker. That home was BEYOND demolished by the time I came along. I was just the woman who gave my husband a reason to move on. Now we are happily married, living in Europe with a precious daughter. It's time for the dreaded ultimatum honey. Either he steps up as a man and files for divorce, or you need to have the self-respect to walk out! If he loves you, he will divorce her ASAP. I've been there, and I know the pain. If you need to talk, I'd be more than happy to. Good luck, and I wish you the best dear.

john paul

you need to let him go, why does he feel responible for her still, she had another man's baby? He needs to divorce her and the whole money thing, she was a cheater, how is she going to get more money? Do they have a child together? If not, he needs to move on with you, or you need to leave.

Mike

You are with a married man who will probably never go thru the expense or trouble of getting a divorce.
I think you're wasting your time...he needs to **** or get off the pot.

say it all...

If he hasn't done anything after 5 years apart and one year living with you...I think you know in your head what your next move needs to be.

Letter Writer

You need to lay down the law to your man, he needs to man up and divorce that woman already. If he wants any kind of relationship with you, it's time to end it with her.

Well she is still legally married to him and as far as the funeral goes, depending how long their marriage was, maybe she was & still is very close to his family. I think the onus is on you to distance yourself from your bf until he takes steps to get this divorce started. Maybe he doesn't want to get married right away, but he is not letting your future with him develop honestly if he is not at least getting the divorce process started. Good luck.

sunshine11

You're playing the fool by staying around another moment for this crap. Living together with a liar and an idiot is as senseless as his reasoning for not being divorced. Pack his things and have him leave.

Honey

You never mentioned that your boyfriend had kids with her, so I can't see what he'd be giving her money for in the first place. This woman has had two children by other men while separated. If your boyfriend divorces her, she won't get anything but child support, provided they have kids together.

To me, it sounds like your boyfriend is either a wimp or there's more to the story. The wife will have a hard time squeezing him for money if she's not getting child support from either one of the other two dudes. If I were you, I would go WITH HIM to talk with the wife. She obviously knows who you are, if you live with the boyfriend so she shouldn't be surprised that you'd want to see what's up.

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