My daughter just told me she?

wild_orchid_tx36

I would try counseling - but if that doesn't work - your daughter is your first priority.

Palindromic

I'm confused why an adult, a father, is discussing divorce with his teenager. Right now, it's important to listen to your daughter, but also be aware that you can be manipulated by your child. Maybe your wife is having a hard time keeping this teen in order. It's is def worrisome that she has confided in you that she has suicidal thoughts. Your response should be to get your daughter in counseling and then maybe family counseling.

You and your wife need to come together as parents. You are parents to your child before you are their friends. Do you and your wife love each other? do you have a good relationship other than your daughter? Could this be a cry for attention? Do not ignore thoughts of suicide but realize she is a teenager and everyone I know had similar thoughts at that age. Come together as a family and try counseling. Have family meetings if you need to once a week or so. The communication between you and your wife needs to improve and then you need to address the issues with your daughter as a family. Right now your wife probably feels like the two of you are against her and that is going to push her further away. Your wife is your partner and you need to be at her side and raise your daughter together-do you really want to divorce and you both leave her? Put yourself in her shoes and see how you would feel if your wife and daughter were always against you.

benjamin m

I think you should talk to your job and see if you can change shifts at least temporarily. You need to figure out what is going on inside your home before _GOD forbid something terrible happens, and you were aware of how upset your daughter was and yet you waited for another sign. Maybe your wife is sick or maybe your daughter is overreacting and just being rebellious. You need to find out for the safety of your family!

Anne W

You need to go to family counseling to try to figure this out. My daughter and I used to have the same problem. It has to do with the child trying to assert her independence and her mom wanting her to remain her baby girl forever. Even if your wife won't go then take your daughter and make your relationship with her stronger and that will help some.

Rachel

When my daughter was around the age of your daughter, we fought a lot too. Sometimes it is really hard for a Mom to see her daughter maturing and beginning to find her way on her own.
I think your wife says everything is "fine" because she doesn't want to admit that she is in a state of turmoil seeing your daughter getting closer to not needing her. But, I'm no doctor.
Seek family counseling. There is definitely some underlying problem that needs to be addressed.
I would agree that your daughter needs to be the first priority-she needs to be well feed, sheltered, and in no immediate danger. However, that said-you do have an obligation to your wife as well. Marriage vows should never be taken lightly.
Perhaps when your wife sees you and your daughter talking it upsets her to know that you confide more in your daughter than you do her. She might not be willing to tell you what is actually wrong for fear you and your daughter will make fun of her or gang up on her verbally.

Tay

Ouch! alarm bells are ringing here, you are only listening to your daughter, as you said it happens after you leave for work.

1. Tape the evenings WITHOUT your daughter knowing about it for a week,
2. Don't tell either about it until you have watched all the tapes with an independent person who can point out what you don't notice about daddy's little girl.

If your daughter is telling the truth then you can calmly show your wife the tapes without commenting and see if she acknowledge what is shown, until she acknowledges it she can't change.

If your daughter is lying show her the tapes after she has describe another argument and show it's not real and get help to find out what is causing her to feel either jealous of her mother or resentful of her.

Don't judge what you haven't see first hand with eyes wide open. Good luck

tony

You need to tell your daughter that she needs to listen to your wife and respect her. Your daughter is a teenage and she wants to ruin all your relationships. Stand by your wife.

pixie

I would try family counseling, that really helped with my dad and brother.

Longbrownhair

You need to give family counseling a try! Stat!

jacpen

I think some counseling is needed here. (for everyone)

What happens after you go to work? What is your wife doing after you leave? Is your daughter doing something to set up wife off?

All of you need to sit down and talk some things through. If that doesn't work, I would go to family counseling.

Imani Paige

She is either felling empty inside because she loves her mom and cannot get through to her, or it's depression. All teens feel it, some more than others. Counseling does help, but try talking to her mom about the situation. She might be able to help.
Hope this helps!

Deviniqua

well thats really a hard one. but i would try to sit down and have a respectful talk with my wife and try to see if she can stop anything that is making your daughter suicidal. but your daughter should come first and if your wife expects you to put her before your own daughter then she is wrong. counseling may also help, but there comes a point when your just gunna have to choose & i say choose the daughter. i hope this helps.

Jack

It sort of sounds like your wife is her step mom but I'm not sure. If you have talked to them both and at the same time and your wife still says that nothing is wrong at all, then she doesn't have her eyes open. Of course your natural response is to protect your child as it should be with all parents, but you need to consider your wife also and how she is feeling. She may not want to talk about it with your daughter around but if you try and talk to her about things calmly then you might get more info about whats going on after you leave. I know that teenagers can sometimes try to cause fights between their parents but a suicide threat is not to be taken lightly EVER. Your daughter must be in a lot of pain and feel she has no other way out. Your wife also needs to know that she makes your daughter feel like that.

sarah

I would start recording these evening with your wife and daughter. You are going to need evidence in order to get custody of your daughter. Unless the court lets her choose who to live with.
I wonder why your wife is so angry? What's going on with her?
I feel bad for the entire situation. I hope it works out somehow.

life goes on

Tour daughter is your first priority just go from there and follow your heart.

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