My ex fiance has gone too far?

Do you know that slimy little jack-a** put three whole chickens in the trunk of my car? The Winn Dixie bag and receipt was still in the trunk when i opened it. He must have done it a couple of days ago and I guess that snot has an extra key (he used to sneak off and drive my car while I was asleep all the time). Now my car has been sitting in the hot sun at the beach all day today and it smells so bad I had to stop and puke twice on my way home. I got so sick trying to clean it out that I had to pay my neighbor's son to throw out the chickens and wash out my trunk. It doesn't matter -- my car is ruined. There were maggots and everything in the trunk. How can i get back at this sorry, scrawny, lying, two-timing, lazy no-good b*****d? Is there any way I can give him swine flu or ebola? Is there any punishment bad enough for him? Please help me with ideas for revenge!!!
Additional Details
Oh, this was no accident. Ever since we broke up we've been sparing back and forth for weeks. I found out he actually wrote my name, number and address on the bathroom wall of a strip club. I'd like to tattoo something vulgar on his forehead while he was passed out. He drinks too much every single night, his feet stink and his toenails are all yellow and jagged, his breath smells like a grave and he never bathes. I wish he would get swine flu cause he's a pig,pig,pig.

Pet

My husband told me when his mother divorced her last husband, they bought two coolers full of the cheapest seafood they could find. They sat the coolers full of seafood out on the roof in the hot sun for a couple of days. Then they poured it down the vents in the front of his van.
That's the only thing I can think of that might possibly be worse than chicken.

astutewoman

I heard that if someone had uncooked eggs strategically placed in their apartment where they were not easy to find, it takes a few weeks but the smell would be overwhelming.... and if hidden well enough (say one or two on top of his kitchen cupboard or hidden way out of sight on a high plant shelf,, etc that it would drive someone nuts as to what the smell is.. plus imagine bringing a date home with that smell? LMAO

MMMM B'eer

Sorry I gave Clevis that idea. Funny wasn't it.

missee

If you pour milk in the spot just below the windsheild of his car. The spot that looks like vents then whenever he turns his air condition on it will smell like rotten milk.

candye

*Do the same thing back to him.
*Put that crack sealer stuff in his a/c vents or fill his gas compartment up with it..if you can't get inside the car--After a few minutes this stuff sets up like concrete.
*Throw a spark plug at his window (this is a neat trick)
*Set a can of dog food or chicken broth out and let it ruin for a couple of days in the hot sun (preferably in a ziploc bag or something so YOU won't have to smell it) Throw it in his car (out of the bag) and run..*This is the most awful smell in the world.!
*Sugar, syrup, or kitty litter in gas tank--basically ANYTHING in gas tank will do major damage..!
....If you can't get inside the car...
*Throw a gallon of Kilz primer all over the outside--make sure no cameras are around.
* Put lots of pieces of bologna on his car-this will take the paint off-you could even spell a message.:)
*"Key" his car.
*Get a good ball bat and go to town on his car.

iyamacog

Retrieve that bag of chickens, and toss it in HIS car.......maggots n all!
Your are really REALLY angry. Your added comments can't be true. How on earth could you be near him with all those faults? ewwww.....He sounds downrite disgusting.

CwboyBill

I'll be sure and tune in to watch your upcoming episode on 'Cops'.

Caramel

how do you know who it was ?
if you know he did it put a few dead fish in his car of spray paint it and key his car real good bust the windows or just blow the car up.

teenie

That is disgusting he must really hate you best thing to do is nothing don't let him know he is getting to you because then it will only get worse.

Ion

if you would of been my ex girlfriend and dared to do something to my car I would have you wacked....I think you should let this one slide and just move along with your life....To often women think they can get us back....poor women have no idea how vicious we can be if provoked....stay away and be thankful you got away just with that

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