My fiance has just been sentenced to 5 years in prison????

Gabes Wifey

I'm 19 and my husband is 32 and just recently married and was trying to have children as well. My husband is now in Denver Reception and Diagnostic Center awaiting placement in a facility. My husband and i got into some trouble being my first offence i got probation, he however got 6 years. He is a repeted offender and since he is gang affilated the gaurds like to be ***** to him, so his time is even harder and more stressful. Even though he is not out here with me we still have an AMAZING marriage. We are happy and know we will get through this. Just reassure your man that everything will fall into place and you will be right here waiting for him when he gets home. Tell him that you love him and miss him (of course) and that nothing can come between you not even the prison walls. Build a strong relationship and write write write write write. Let him know how much he is still a part of your life. Like with me, if i have a busy day i will write out an agenda for everything i have to do that day and then at the end of the day i send it to him, not so he can keep track of my whereabouts but so he can sit back close his eyes and imagine me driving in my car listening to our song running all my errands. Ok this one may sound weird, buy him things. My husband will do probably 3 years of the 6 he was sentenced. I still buy him clothes or things i know he wants, just like i would if he were still out here. Tell him you bought him a new clothes or whatever it is that you buy him and tell him you cant wait to give it to him. I can keep going on with ways to keep you guys a part of each others lives... oh and i understand what you mean he doesnt deserve it, my husband didnt deserve the time he got. yeah he commited the crime but there are people catching dope cases and violent charges getting less then him.

cute_cuddly_tyger

He doesn't deserve it? The judge sentenced him to 5 years in PRISON....he more than likely deserves it. They don't just throw people in there for the h e l l of it. Good luck....

Rollie Free

I suggest you use choose a different man to have children with. This site is filled with women who chose loosers to father their children and are now on here wondering why the loser is acting like a loser. I doubt I can change your mind about this guy but be very aware how important you choice is. It will affect the rest of your life.

chik7896

Honey if he got 5 years in prison, I am sure he did something to deserve this! Is this really the kind of man you want to raise children with and be married too? A man with a criminal history that will haunt him forever! Get your priorities straight dear!

missnasa2001

If he's in prison for five years then how or why do you say he doesn't deserve it? He commited a crime yes?

You are so young, and you think this way now but I don't give it one more year and you will have tired and moved on.

Heatherrrrrrrr

Wow. In prison?
You are in for a difficult road for the rest of your life. Not many jobs for ex cons.

You are 19. Can't you do better? Do you really want to be on Jerry Springer?

Dolly

Plz add to your question........why is he in prison???

letterstoheather

i'm sorry this happened to you, and i'm sure you are completely devistated.

you didn't say why he is in prison, but five years is a long time.

you really need to decide what is best for YOU and your life now. seems he's ruined his for the time being.

if it were me... i'd move on.

Nena S

Go do your homework instead of wasting your time.

He must have done something to get 5 years in prison. Perhaps it is time for you both to re-evaluate life. This guy may not be the best candidate for you to with. Maybe while he is away he can straighten up his life. I would suggest making a clean break from him and live your life instead of waiting around for someone that is in jail.

smart girl

wow what did he do? This will just give both of you time to think.

max_rochny

Leoni, a jury convicted him of a crime. now you have to deal with it or move on. 5 years is along time.

Sarah

Ok, you're leaving out a big chunk here! What did he do? They don't throw people in jail for nothing. It sounds like to me that this is your big break to find someone who is not a loser and do better for yourself. Kids?? Do you really want your children's father to be a felon? That is definitely not a good way to start in life! You need to come to your senses and move on with your life without him! You're too young to see that right now, but believe me in the years to come, you will be so glad you moved on!

faith

Obviously he has done something pretty serious to be in prison for 5 years? Do you really think it's in your best interest to wait around on this guy? You are 19 years old and should be out having fun and enjoying your life!

Tango

You didn't mention what the crime was he committed?
It is easy to be so judgemental without knowing the full facts first.

trevors30

If I was going to prison for five years, I wouldn't expect my wife to wait for me. I would expect her to find someone else.

rojv

Honestly I'd want to know what he's in for but regardless, that's a really tough situation. you're only 19 now, are you really thinking of waiting for him for 5 YEARS? I'm sorry this happend to you both because I know you've had dreams and commitments but maybe this is a sign. He may not be the right person for you. It must be hard to hear that but I'm older than you and I went thru something similar in my 20's. My ex had a 10 Yr. sentence for a past mistake.Even though I thought the world of him and wanted to wait for him. I lasted 2 years. It is so hard you can't even imagine. Throught that I met my now husband and I have 2 beautiful girls. What I'm trying to say is take it a day at a time. Be prepared for the fact that your feelings may not be the same in a year or so.
Good Luck to you.

zed

wow seems like his done something lil naughty to get 5 years but i would imagine he would only do half that and be out in 2and half years if he behaves.
if he not guilty then its always good to apply for an appeal but be very careful coz if he is found guilty he is looking more then 5 yrs seek solicitors advice.
you just got to live with the fact that you will have to marry him when he comes out of prison but it will give both of you plenty of time to think about what you 2 really want in life?
its always good idea to write to him reguler as he needs it at this time of moment even a letter from you will put a smile to his face.
all the best in life

Zed

Oh dear.

Think about it. Why were you trying for a baby at 19 with such an irresponsible young man?

It is all his fault.

I bet you in 2 years, you will have a different boyfriend. Wait and see what it is like in a prison visiting room and how romantic that is NOT.

You say he doesn't deserve it, but he has committed a crime, so he does deserve it.

You'll be ok sweetheart. Sure support him in these early days, but don't waste your life.

The baby penguin

He doesn't deserve it? I don't know what he did but you don't get 5 years for nothing. If so he should appeal against the judgement. You're only 19 and you think you want to marry him? Sorry, but maybe it's better this way. You can find someone better.

Tina

Well dear...if your fiance is in prison for 5 years...he certainly did something to deserve it!! You had better start to seriously think about this relationship. It looks like it will not be one made in heaven! Girl...RED FLAG....RED FLAG ALERT!!!! WAKE UP!!!!

vick

why is he in prison? 5 years is a long time. there is nothing you can do but wait for him or move on by yourself. if you choose to stay with him then every time you visit him that will reassure him.if you cry and fall apart it will probably be harder on him.

elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom

well, sigh =(...

you have to think about this, really hard! after he gets out of prison, it will be very hard to get a good job, places do background checks, even if he's honest about his past, they will believe he is not hirable...after all, this is prison, prison means felony!!!

do you really know what happened, were you there? or, is he just using you to have someone to run to when he does get out of prison? do you really know the whole story... if I have you thinking, good! will he learn his lesson? maybe he does deserve to be in prison, details will help me here... =(...

Do you really think he will wait for you in prison? perhaps he will communicate w/ several women while being in there... this is what prisoners do =(... you don't know...

I would move on, that's just me...but, I don't know what he did...hmmm...

=(...

wildmonkey_25

depends on what he got 5 years for?!!???

You need to think about that before you marry this guy and think hard before you consider bring a child in to the world.

Stephen K

You cannot do anything else than wait this 5 years (maybe shorter if he behaves well in the prison). During the 5 years you have to live your life, going out with friends, having a lover, etc., but, of course, support him emotionally. When he comes out you two will have to see that if the cohesion between you still exists or not. During 5 years both of you may change. But if your love is really that what you feel know then it can survive this affliction.

~nicole~

Let him sit there and think about what he's done.

daisy322_98

He committed a crime to be sentenced to prison. Why would you want to marry someone like that.

roger_jnr

It is not possible to give you any solid advice without knowing what he did to get sent away for 5 years. My answer could range from get the heck away from that mad man to get the best lawyer money can buy and fight like mad to win his release. So..ya' got any more info.??

WOW. I'm on overload here...19? trying for a baby? prison?

Ok. I offer a word of caution. Please be careful and slow down. What is the hurry? Why do you feel the need to rush into marriage and parenthood so quickly? You are so young. You have a great deal of living and experiencing to do yet. Believe me when I say that being a parent is a no easy task. Marriage is no easy task. life with an ex convict is n oeasy task.

I'm not trying to judge you. I'm trying to caution you. If you truly love this guy, then ok...wait for him. Hopefully he'll be able to put this prison thing behind him and move on with his life.

I recommend that you wait until that time before you get married and certainly before you bring a child into this world.

Good luck to you.

campbell

I'm shocked to see some other user's comments... what so because someone has a history everyone should give up on them. WOW sorry not everyone lives sheltered little lives and have never gotten in trouble! My fiancee and I are currently awaiting his next trial to see if he will do jail time again. We might have to postpone our wedding but i would rather postpone then not marry him! It's hard, no one will tell you it's not. Writing helps, so does visiting him. If you love him just wait. When he gets out it will be the best reunion of you life! And don't listen to these people who think they are so much better than everyone else, you will always encounter these people and just take what they say with a grain of salt. Most of them don't understand how people are STEREOTYPED once they have done something wrong in the past! There is no rehabilitation when it comes to the justice system, once a criminal always a criminal.. it's bulls**t! Good luck to you and your fiancee, I hope everything works out for you!

as3161977

You people are so judgemental. People do make mistakes. So what these people in prison don't deserve to be loved? They messed up, it happens, can you guys honestly say you have not made mistakes in your life? I think everyone has something they regret. Just because they are in prison don't mean they are losers. My fiancee is doing a year in prison over 1 joint, while drug dealers, rapists, child molesters, and murderers are out running the streets. By the way my fiancee took the rap so his father and his brother that has 5 kids did not get any time. So that makes him a loser cause he was looking out for his family? I think not. My advice to you is if you really love him than wait for him it will be worth it as long as you are happy. If you don't think you can then move on but let him know you can't do it, he deserves that much. Either way it doesn't make you a bad person. It is hard to wait on someone I know it is killing me but I keep thinking it will be over and I will be back in his arms where I am happy to be. I don't like judgemental people or people that think they are better than someone else. No one is better than anyone else regardless all people make mistakes. It is called forgiveness and they are paying for their crimes, are you people that want to judge paying for yours? You will in the end because you are not suppose to judge anyone.

Amber5490

I totally understand you and while I respect the others opinions I too am with someone in prison Ive been with him since I was 15 I am now 21 and he has been in prison for almost 3 years and Im still hanging strong..Its very hard and sometimes you do feel like giving up but I look at it like this is time for him to straighten himself up and for me to get myself together as well so when he does get out we will both be stable and ready for anything. Thats why he's taking classes in the prison and working while im out here working saving money and going to college as well..To every negative situation theres always a good outcome. Just keep your head high and keep fighting if you honestly love him you will not let prison break your love apart!

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