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James Watkin
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Occasionally people get loud. Occasionally people get mad. Someone who is doing it every day has serious anger issues and is abusing you. This is emotional abuse.
Now, you will probably say something like 'he promised to stop' or 'he says I drive him to the point and I am working on changing' or 'but i love him' or 'he's really a nice guy'. The list can go on and on but it is all BS. What you are seeing is who he is. He will not change. Marriage is not a magic wand that makes people nicer. Instead people that marry tend to let down even more walls as they become more comfortable with each other and behavior like this gets worse. You are kidding yourself if you think it will change without him getting professional help. But it is your life and if you want to be miserable and foolish, go for it. Have at it. Just don't come back her whining about it in a few years after you have a kid and the kids starting treating you with no respect. Because after all, daddy yells at mommy. Or when your kid has an ulcer at 5 from the stress of the yelling. Or when he decides that yelling at you is not driving home the point and knock the crap out of you. Because the odds are one or more of these things will happen. Just grin and bear it if you choose this way of life. Because no one can help you but you. |
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soldoutone
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To answer the questions you were to scared to actually ASK:
1. NO this is NOT NORMAL.
2. YES this IS a form of ABUSE.
3. NO you should NOT MARRY this man.
But you should ge the hell AWAY from him before he starts HITTING you. I mean why wouldn't he hit you? He yells at you and you TAKE THAT right? Tells an abuser you'll take a fist too.
You marry this man, you're a grade A FOOL. |
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That guy over there
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Never.
Get out while you can, but be prepared for her to stalk you and beg you and appear to have changed.
Yelling is never okay. |
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daljack -a girl
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We don't yell at each other.....and when we disagree we try to be civil.
We disagree about once every 4 months or so. |
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FillyLilly
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Thats Abuse... get out while you can |
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KJ
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once is too many.
leave. |
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kimmer0616
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Abuse doesn't have to be physical to be termed "abuse". My DH and I fight minimally (I mean to the point of raising voices, etc); MAYBE twice a year at most.
If he/she is all out screaming at you every other day, then I would say that's verbal abuse. |
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Kari
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Thank God he is just your fiance. Call off the wedding now! It will only get worse. |
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mimi
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My husband(of 23 years) and I rarely fight. We NEVER yell at each other. |
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★TouchedByAnAtheist★
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That's emotional abuse. You should end it. |
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mousemom125
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If he thinks it's acceptable to yell at you now, what do you think he'll find acceptable after you are married? Break it off now before you need a divorce lawyer...or a plastic surgeon. |
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colby31
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we never yell at each other. we do fight tho. not much. maybe once a month or less. |
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Lela A
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communication is very important with respect to the other person, yelling doesn't produce anything but bitterness and anger and is unproductive |
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Simply Lovely
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Never, that is why we got married. We discuss. I would never date and especially marry anyone that would yell at me and treat me like that. I am not one for putting up with crap. |
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lorbell
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We have little spats or disagreements every so often. But we discuss things and we move on. There isn't much yelling involved, though. |
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mario
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leave
if hes yelling now
imagine how he'll b
2moro |
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Emma Girl's Mommy
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My husband and I don't fight. We have had 1 major screaming fight (total misunderstanding) that lasted 10 min. Base your relationship on the right things and you shouldn't fight. |
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Katie H
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Yelling is not allowed.
If he is yelling at you he has issues that you can not solve.
Take time away from this relationship and see if it is what you really want.
I suspect that yelling develops into something much larger and more dangerous after marriage. |
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justbambi2
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My husband and I have been married for 8 years, I can count on one hand the number of times we've yelled at each other during those 8 years. |
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Sandy Ego
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Once or twice a year maybe? Very rarely. |
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I got answers!
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We really don't do that........ |
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Angel
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Been together 13 years, married for 10, NEVER YELLED at one another, do not fight, we discuss problems like mature adults and compromise with one another....
No excuse to yell at another individual especially someone you claim to love....
Sounds like you both need marriage counseling to learn how to properly communicate with one another without the yelling and fighting.. this is referred to as unfair fighting and it does not accomplish anything but hurt feelings and destroys the marriage..
Best of luck |
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Ashley
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I think that fighting in a relationship is extremely healthy. However, excessive fighting can become a problem. Are the fights always about the same topics? If so, there might not ever be a solution and if that is the case, the relationship probably will not work. Did you fight before you got engaged? If so, why would you enter into a relationship that has big problems? My fiance and I argue too but not very frequently and when we do, it is always solved very easily...to answer your question. |
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Shannon M
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Fighting should be the exception, not the rule. My spouse and I get annoyed with each other probably at least once a day! But, we don't fight about it. We have learned to pick our battles carefully and fight about things that only truly matter. When I'm annoyed with him or him with me, we may make a joke about it, or leave the room, or go do something else other than be around each other. Yelling and fighting don't make things better, only worse. It's normal not to agree all the time, but if it's important subject matter, it's much better to talk calmly and find a resolution. If it's not important, it's better not to pick that battle.
Tell your spouse how his yelling is making you feel. If he really loves you, he will try to change. If he does not change, you may want to ask yourself if this is really the person you want to spend your life with. |
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MetalHeart
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And it only gets worse. So get out!
Besides, women today will spread their legs for a man faster than you can finish asking them too. Stick with the free milk, keep your money, your social life, and your sanity. |
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My Three
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Be careful this does not turn into a physical thing. Me and my husband go through things but we rarely yell at each other. We have talks. Just be careful |
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Vanity Affaire
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My boyfriend and I have never even raised our voices to each other in the three years we've been together. We're mature adults and we handle our disagreements like adults...we sit down, both tell our sides and just try to come to a compromise and come to a solution to the problem. There is no reason for raising your voice or name calling or any of that, it's immature and if that's how you guys sort out issues, then you both need to take a minute, leave the room and come back when the other has calmed down. Sometimes I realize issues can make a person fly into a fit of rage, but you have to be adult enough to realize that screaming and throwing a tantrum isn't going to solve anything, it just makes things worse. What really works is communication and having respect for one another.
Good luck. |
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elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom
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I never "yell", I speak up about what is bothering me... fight, well, if I believe something is wrong, I "don't fight" physically but I do speak up about what I believe is wrong...
yelling, is never acceptable, unless your significant other cheated, even then, walking away is best... |
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openminded
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Get out now! My EX was like that. My guy now in 4 years has honestly NEVER yelled at me. He is soooo sweet, and we have only had a few fights and those were nothing. My ex would get in my face and yell. i will never go thru that agian. |
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moe
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some people are just yellers and some people arent. i yell if im really mad. and ive been married 30 years im also very high spirited and tempered you need to either ajust to her or you need to figure out you cant deal and move on. |
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makeitwork
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To all you ladies out there that are telling this girl to leave this guy you are all biased and hating. It is not just the guys that yell believe me. If you really love this guy and wanna make it work then go to pre-marriage counseling and work out your issues before marriage and hopefully you can work them out before you tie the knot. You ladies on this site are all bitter...man. |
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