My friend has been having an affair with a married man for 20 yrs?

goldwing

For God's sake, what did she think was going on? Men who cheat on their wives NEVER do it with just one..they have a string of them, the string only changes when one of the women cuts it off, and then a new one is added....where has she been living..in a fairytale land? This is the stuff of B movies, and bad ones at that. Did she really think that he would leave the wife and marry her? She needs to get a grip..she has wasted her ENTIRE life with another woman's husband...and if you think the wife doesn't know, you are mistaken...she doesn't care! Your friend has been the fool, not the guy. You cannot change a leopards spots, no matter how much you want him to look like a zebra. Show your friend this answer. IT is not too late for her to have a real life with perhaps a real man of her own...maybe yes, maybe no, but certainly something REAL, not a borrowed life that must be checked back into the library every evening. And if it came to that , toy shops are filled with lovers, if you catch my drift! But from what I have seen, there is no need for the trip.. single men abound and look for a wonderful woman that they never seem to find...perhaps because all the single women are looking for Brad Pitt and settle for pits. To bad...so many lonely people in the world turning down chances with real relationships that last. After 20 years, she is NOT going to have children, must have a stable life of some kind, so perhaps it is time to put down Mother Goose fables and start the search for a real man...not a pretty one, but a real one. Good luck And please let her read this answer..harsh, but real

Bingo

Tell her now she knows how the wife feels.

â„¢Spacemanâ„¢

serves her right for havin an affair with a married man

sam.trask@btinternet.com

Tell his wife about the whole thing.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

pink9364

HELLO???? she is doing the same thing... why was it ok to be with a married man? Now she knows hat it feels like to be screwed around with. I have no sympathy to home wreckers

sweet_thing_kay04

I'm sorry to say but all u can do is be there for her.Don't talk bad about him either because woman like her just don't get it.They can't understand that if he is cheating on his wife then what makes u think he won't cheat on u. Plus as soon as he sweet talks her she'll be back.So all you can do is be there for her.

In God's Image

Tell her to get a f***ing clue. If she is messing around with a married man, he is lying to his wife. He doesn't have any vows with your friend, so why does he have to be faithful to her? This is so pathetic, I am almost ashamed to be responding to this bull****.

retrodesignerdeals

What did she expect? She is a home wrecker herself and expected a cheating SOB to be faithful.

As for your friend tell her to move on and find someone who is worth her attention and devotion.

A married man is not it.

Good luck.

mjack

She needs to be told that if he can cheat on his wife why can't he cheat on her. and also to cut ties and run before she ends up with some nasty STD or something.

hahahahahahaha

good now shes got her just desserts

SexyTrojan

My friend went through the same thing. She found out that her married lover had another mistress or two.

I had no sympathy for her.

Silva

I want to say help her learn to love herself enough to finally leave him and find a real man that is not spreading his sorry a$$ around to three women, but maybe this is not what she needs to hear right now. just offer her your love and support and be there for her.

shellysnapz

what goes round comes round......she got hers....i feel for the wife

heavy m

T ELL HER TO GET HER OWN MAN ALONG WITH AN H.I.V TEST ,SOUNDS LIKE THIS DUDE WAS HOIN`

Mr Business

She should have known. A man who betrays his wife for her will one day betray her for another woman.

You can't actually show her sympathy cause she has made the man cheat on his wife for twenty years. Just tell her what goes around comes around

tohelpyouandyou

Tell her for the last 20 years she has been living a lie.

It would seem she has no morals too.

I feel for the wife....and how she has never knowen for 20 loooong years.

I also know...he is a total looooooser?

Raine

by just being a good friend to her, listening to her and being there for her. you cant really do anymore, after all she was silly in the first place to start up a relationship with a married man, imagine what that mans poor wife would feel, a damn sight worse than your friend.

Someone

What goes around comes around. Sounds like they are even! My advice is not to have an affair with a married anybody if you don't want your feelings hurt. You obviously know where THEY stand on the issue of committement!

eagledreams

well.......you can help by just being there as a friend ....listen........tell her to move on to forget him he is a no gooder......and maybe she will have learnt that this world she was in was never real.

crystal

She is a fool,all you can do is be a shoulder for her to cry on.support her.encourage her to break from him,he is no good for her.

girl.

honestly she had it coming since the man she had an affair with obviously isn't ready to commit to anyone.

however to make her feel better try taking her out with her friends a few nights a week so she does something social. overtime, she'll probably begin feeling a little better.

hope that helps.

VANESSA H

for 20 yrs. that's so stupid. she can tolerate the wife, but not the lover. she sounds like a block head.tell her he probably needed a new lover because he wore her out, so she will just have to put up with that to until he stops seeing her altogether. after all, it's only been 20yrs. she should be use to it by now.

dances with cats

dudette, it is hard for me to feel sorry for a gal that has been having an affair with a married guy for 20 years. What did she expect - that just because she was the other woman that he would be faithful to her? get real. as for her depression. tell her to break off that relationship where the sun don't shine. Just be there for her and give her a hug and be a good listener.

dungeoness

advise her to find a man of her own,it's not difficult.

gypsy

To be frank I don't see what right she has to be depressed, after all she has assisted this guy to cheat on his wife for 20 years - did she really believe he wouldn't cheat on her also ? Your friend sounds like a total fool and to add to that she's obviously not a very nice person.

Just Surfin

Oh please. She's been "the other woman" for 20 years, and now that she finds out she's not "the ONLY other woman" she thinks she has a right to be upset?!!?

waiting for baby

What did she think that she can trust someone who let her hang for 20 years
I am sure that she will not be getting any sympathy on this site
so what now she is feeling what the wife has or would have felt if she has found out
It call fair PLAY and their is no help
for someone to get their just desert
but still it most be hard for you to see her oging throw this know ing in your heart that she deserves it
She is an example for all women out there who is cheating with a married man

medusaunveiled

The best thing you can do is be supportive and non judgmental. I think she probably has enough people judging her right now. Listen to her talk, when she is ready to talk. Take her out for drinks.

Whatever you do, don't make her feel like she deserved this. We all make bad decisions. Be there to help her make good decisions when the time is right.

fleetwalk60

Your friend was wrong for messing around with a married man. If he was cheating on his wife, then he would cheat on her too. Never mess with a married man, because they never belonged to you in the first place. Remember wife and kids come first. Tell her she can't get mad, he's not married to her.

All you can do is be her friend and not judge her. To all the others who replied (or most of you), please don't judge people you don't know. You don't know the mans situation, you don't know him, his wife or this woman. I know people who have had affairs for decades, where the men have been married to women who have been physically disabled, ill or for some other reasons not been able to satisfy their husbands and the affairs were with their approval. You may call it stupid or wrong, but it is their choice, their lifes and not ours to judge.

I hope all of you are saints who have never done anything wrong in your lifes so you won't be judged by complete strangers who don't know a thing about you.

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