My girlfiriends Dad committed suicide 8 months ago. I'm thinking about proposing but I wonder is it too soon?

Big Rich

Come on man - seriously asking YahooAnswers for this one? You know the answerto this with out asking us - your just looking for a reason to pop the question because you have ant's in your pants - WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME!!!! and that time is not now. End of story -

You love the girl, right?
You want to spend the rest of your life with her, right?
You want her to be happy and be able to live her life with out the question of was that what I was really thinking or was I just looking for something to get me out of my funk, right?

OK enough said - good luck and congradulations on finding the right one man - Make it special - take your time and don't rush it, OK?

Melissa Miguel

proposing no its not too soon, because all your doing is proposing, just let her know how you feel and tell her even though she would be your finance the actually wedding could wait as much time as she needed, just let her know you want to marry her someday.

http://www.myspace.com/melissamiguelmusic

Pixxxie

Bless you for caring about her enough to ask this question. Tell her you love her and want to marry her. Then add you will wait until she is ready. Her life is in turmoil right now so be patient and show her you will be there for her.

smudger79

I'm not sure if anyone can answer this question without more detail.....if she seems ok and "back to normal" then go for it, if she's on the edge and still grieving, maybe not such a good idea.

Klingon

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE that's gone through that will tell you that ANY GOOD THING is appreciated.AFTER my parents died , my older brother got married.It was the BEST medicine for us!

MISSY G

No, it's not as if you will be getting married straight away is it, it will probably be in a couple of years so i say go for it and good luck.

petey

It might be, but at the same time it might be something good and positive to happen to her! She'll have something to look forward to, not just grief. Though saying that, who would walk her down the aisle?

Whatever you decide, you are always going to be there for her and help her through everything!

ANDY A

in my opinion i would propose now as it may b onli 8 months aftr her dad committed suicide but if u prpose it may put a smile bk on her face so go for it kid :)

xXCuteyXx

I think it's a good idea!
It will probably cheer her up and give her something to look forward to.

Good Luckxx

twinkle2twinkle

give a little time to heal which i think you have but it is now time to bring some much needed happiness to her give her something to be happy about.

maverick29

it could just something that she needs right now. She just lost her father and she loves you so you doing that might be the best thing for her.

noteworthy5

death is hard to deal with but life still goes on. Ask her ,she will let you if she is ready to move on to a new chapter in she life.

lisa S

you two need to set down and talk . she is probably having a bout of depression. If you really love her tell her she might think at this point that you feel sorry for her. you need to let her know that it is true. That your love for her is real. And you will wait as long as it takes if that is what she needs.

luz2loz

Thats lovely, it may be a bit too soon though, leave it a while longer as it must of been a big shock for her finding out her dad had committed suicide.

Just be there for her.

crazymental

planning a future with you may take her mind off her dad. just ask her.

singleemma21

you're the only one who can honestly answer this question. if it is too soon she might think you're proposing just to be nice. on the other hand maybe she needs you to show her how much you love her..good luck hope it all works out.

Secrets

It's difficult to say. The only thing that I can share is that my friend had been engaged for about 2 years and her mother fell ill in July last year. In August she was diagonsed with cancer and passed away in November. People were unsure if the wedding planning should still go ahead. Some people thought it was too soon and that they should give it time. But the reality is that her life still needs to go on.

Do ever really "get over" the death of a loved one? I don't think so. But it gets easier to cope with that loss.

I'm so glad that your girlfriend has someone like you who's is standing with her in support at this difficult time. I think you should talk to her about how she feels about marriage in general and where it plays a part in her life at the moment. If like you said you won't be getting married until maybe 2 years time, you may want to wait a little while longer.

By the way, my friend is getting married next week, and although she still misses her mother, she is so happy to be getting married to this wonderful guy. I think your girlfriend will feel the same about you.

All the best.

amz

just ask her and see what she says, it might take her mind off her dad or it might be too soon. if she says it's too soon just leave it a while

good luck!!

cheri h

no she will be in pain over this for many years, she probably needs something great to think about right now, good luck!

_Staying brilliantlybeautiful_**

i am with melissa on this one. Please give my regards to your girlfriend(soon to be fiance...):) that is such a tregic event in anyones life, just plan a nice evening, or do something she has always wanted to do, or loves doing to get her mind off the bad stuff, then tell her how you feel, but add that, you will always be there, and will wait for her, if you love her enough, spending the rest of your life iwth her will be worth it, once she finds herself again, things so tragic can never be forgotten, but she is lucky to have someone who care. Best wishes, and we are all praying for her and her family, god bless.

lsp

no i don't think its too soon.If your feeling that this is the time do it.. Good Luck

Angad

go for it

scott_v1963

Careful, here.

First you. If you were considering the proposal before the death then you are more likely to be thinking clearly and not acting out of a increased closeness with her that came as a result of her grieving..

Same for her. If your relationship is strong, and was before, your probably on safe grounds. I assume you've discussed the idea in the past.

Should you become engaged, don't plan the wedding too quickly. She has a lot of things to work out and planning a wedding, while providng a great escape, may slow the healing down.

kathyw

Possibly. But proposing only means you're engaged. You still have plenty of time until the wedding. She may need just this sort of good thing in her life. I say go for it.

nikki_lav_2288

It is time propose to her. It will take her mind off her dad's suicide. Which that is so awful for that to happen to her. I am so sorry for her. Yes go and do it. It is not too soon. Best of luck to you.

Saraii D

wow...Marriage is gonna hurt her because its the father who should walk her to the alter to u ...let it go for now ...does she stll cry or talk about her father often?..

kiki68

depending on your girlfriend and her relationship with her father proposing may either lift her up and give her something to look forward to, or it may make her feel u are an insensitive brute.

i would say go for it but choose your words very carefully. don't blurt it out and don't make her think ur doing it coz u feel pity for her.

james m

yer waite another five years

candylovetree

That is very sweet that you are being so considerate of her feelings. You want the proposal to be a happy moment for her, right now a proposal might bring up to much emotion for her to handle right now. I would say put the idea aside for at least another 5 months. At that time maybe you can start hinting at it and see how she reacts. Just be very aware of her feelings and the time will come natural to you.

WORKING OLDER SMARTER BLONDE

too soon for who?
make sure you are making the proposal based on true genuine love rather than sorrow and sympathy for the girl.

ELIZABETH T

without knowing more it is difficult to know if it is right time now.

Life goes on and it should be possible to get an indicator if this is a good time. If your girlfriend burst into tears constantly she need some help working this through.

There is so many loose ends after a suicide. The why, the did I not see it coming, could I have done something. The answers you aren't getting. The stigma, real or perceived. We work though these things in different ways and to my knowledge it will always be there one way or the other. There is also going to be a wedding where he is not going to be there. Is that the real issue.?

In that case: If she is the woman you love and want to spend your life with, down on the knee and tell her. When you are down there then tell her that it is in her time and the way she wants it. It will all be good.

And please remember that it is after all a wedding and it is one day starting on the rest of your life together. You don't have to have a traditional wedding. You could walk up the aisle together, you could have a beach wedding in the Bahamas, on a cruise, in the forest. The most important thing would be to ask her, and make sure that she knows that you do it in your time and your way. And it would be good to acknowledge and mention her father in a speech. How much he probably wanted to be there. People that take their own life often have reasons we don't know much about or they are simply ill one way or the other. Do explore this issue together as it could help the healing process. Often when left behind the silence is the worst, people not asking and talking about him.
wishing you all the best.

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