My hubby put me in a chokehold, then pushed me into my printer, should I've pressed charges?

Southern Belle

I know from previous experience with my ex that if you don't press charges before it is too late,he will. You are going to need this on record in case you decide later to get a divorce. The way things sound he is very abusive and no one deserves to be treated that way. Your children do not need this violence either. I know this is very painful to think about so fast but you need to file charges quickly. I know the idea of this is hard to fathom but he could end up with the children if you don't react. He could turn this all around on you. You need to file a restraining order and get out. Do you have family or friends you could stay with till you get on your feet? Maybe a church organization? Look online for some kind of organization. I've been through all of this and I know it is very painful especially if you love him. If there is anything else I can do please let me know. Be strong and think of your children.

oneblondepilgrim

Womens SHELTER and fast. The first step is the hardest.. It's easy after that.

Women die or go missing every day in this country at the hands of a abusive man. You needed to get some help and get away from this man. Call a women's shelter and ask them for advice. May God protect you and your kids!

heads

go to a shelter for abused woman they will help you if you don't know one look in phone book if not there go on line for your city or town

Needs Lotsa Luvin

Find a women's shelter. They will find you a place to stay that he won't be able to get to you in. They will help you get back on your feet. You need to get the hell out of there before he kills you and leaves your children without a mother and in the care of child protective services. Do it now!

Rachel B

My husband is a police officer and i would say YES you need to press charges. I know that it is very hard and i i know part of you does love him.....but i also know what this progresses in to. You need to leave what is called a "paper trail", and that way, if you need to leave and need to police to protect you and your children, their is evidence from the past showing how dangerous he is. That way they know it is not just one isolated episode.
I know that this is very hard and everyone will say "Just get out!!" but i know it is not that easy. You need to get all your strength together and make a change. You don't want your children to grow up and repeat this cycle, and they will if you don't make a chage. Good luck and stay safe!

OH, AND DO NOT LISTEN TO THE IDIOT BELOW ME!!!!!! OBVIOUSLY HE HAS THE SAME PROBLEM AS YOUR HUSBAND. IT DOESN'T TAKE ANYTHING TO MAKE A MAN ABUSE YOU SOMETIMES.

PEGGY S

Contact the local organization for Battered women in your community. If you call the police, tell them that you are interested in getting away from your abusive husand, they can give you the name of the local organization that helps battered women get back on their feet. Take pictures of any bruises, and if you can record the threats for proof.

D L R

Check your phone book for your nearest womens' shelter, and/or crisis line. This man is not to be fooled with, and you and your children are in grave danger.
The more your children see the violence as accepted behaviour in your home, the greater the odds that they will repeat it in their lives.
You owe it to yourself, and therefore your children to get help As Soon As Possible.
Get someone to photograph your bruises. But phone NOW, Please.

tammy g

hi,youve got to get your life straight for your kids,this situation is not good for them or you,make a plan and stick to it,do not let him know anything.you need to call a shelter and find out how long they will let you stay.if you have family members that can help you go to them.sounds like your going to need a lawer,child support etc,call legal aid.get strong,get a job and get out,my first husband was very abusive,take it from me it gets worse,,good luck.

Darkchild

There are such things as shelters which will help you with a place to stay while you find work and he will not know where you or your children are and then you can have the VPO. Just call the police. You or your children don't have to live like this any longer imagine what they are learning from seeing all this. It can't be a happy situation. Good luck to you.

No sÃ©

Contact a local women's crisis center. They will give you an escape plan, take you in, and keep you and your children safe. Good luck, and don't wait any longer

Reft

.....Call your parents.
get out of there. If doesn't love you, if he thretens you even when not emotionally pushed (still horrid) you need to get out.
I am not there, so this is my opinion from what I hear.
Live at your parents, take the kids and have your parents keep you.
If you press charges you should win, though your point is not visible on your body, his is (bite mark), but you did it in self deffence. Legal. and you couldn't breath....that makes it really self deffence.
Not saying what you should do there on that front, but get away, get him out of your life, don't teach him, don't talk to him, don't contact him, from the sounds of it he is not a great guy.

HOWEVER I am not there, so no offence, if this is a commen thing, then get out in my OPINION.
be well, and good luck and please think of yourself and the kids. Do you want them to have HIM doing it to them when they are older, he will....it's how he gets his way one way it's how he gets his way in other ways too.

An abusive dad, or no dad?
However, think, talk to your parents, or a friend if your parents are not close, and talk to parents over phone.
Luck to you.

Reft~

Stuff Buster

What state are you in? Can you check out social services in your state? You have access to the Internet.. try using Google to find out what help is available to you in your area.

Even if you have no money you do not need to stay in this relationship.

YahooGuru2u

Get out. Go to a domestic violence shelter. The police or a church should be able to help you find one. Take the kids and go. This is not a game. He will kill you and your children if you let him. He already is killing you and them. He is killing your spirit and your freedom and your self respect. Get out for the kids if not for you. Report the bum. Don't let yourself be a victim. Don't teach your children to be helpless. You are teaching them that it is ok for someone to hit them in a relationship. Is that really what you want for them? For yourself? Your man isn't worth it. He is skum.

Houyhnhnm

I'm not sure what a VPO is but I'm sure you're right that you're in grave danger. Won't let you leave, won't let you get a job, and assaults you--this is one sick person. I'd suggest you call a domestic abuse hotline or domestic abuse shelter. There is no shame in being in a "Jerry Springer" situation. They could cover one case like this every minute and never run out of stories.

Good luck,
Houyhnhnm

Brenda

press charges ASAP!

There are government programs created to help victims of domestic violence. Usually, if you place a protection order against him, he is in jail the second he breaks the VPO. The police are there to help you so dont be scared of calling for help. The longer you stay the more at risk you are for further injuries and more intense trauma for the kids.

sunshine.sophia

You need to get help. For yourself & your children.

Melissa

Contact the nearest women's shelter. They have people that specialize in helping women and children out of your situation.

Ask the police, a preacher, or call 411. They can all and many more can also help.

Good luck!

tickled blue

Um, if you are frightened of your husband, then you should leave. 211 is a national hotline that will give you info on where to go for help. You will have to take your children and you will have to take some stuff for them and yourself. Everything else can be worked out when you are safe.
If this is the first time and you are not afraid of immediate future action on his part, then you should seek counseling and decide if your marriage is worth saving. I say this not because you got in one fight, but because of your many complaints about him and your sheltered life. I also say this because I am concerned that you would request help for a serious problem from an online question/answer forum. If you have no friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc. that you can talk to about this and your other problems, then that is also a form of abuse!! You need your own life to bring anything to your marriage. If he is not allowing you basic socialization, it is time to seek help!! Good Luck!

Steph

Just leave when he is at work or something. Thats what my mom did with me and my sister. Watch the movie "Enough" it is dealing with what your dealing with. Good luck. Trust me it works.

áƒ¦*Pink Cat *áƒ¦

You need to get out asap, call a womans shelter and quit making excuses that he wouldn't let you, you need to do it before he kills you. Seriously. You might not be so lucky next time. It's not a joke. Think about your kids. I raised 3 alone.

donna p

RUN!!! for the sake of your children being safe and sane in their own futures, get out of there and get counseling for your kids. if hes violent like this, hes not worth staying around "for the kids sake"... if you really love your kids, you'll put them first (their own safety) in this situation

Hannah

Get the F out. Go to your mom's. Go to your sister's. Go to an old friend from high school's who you think won't even remember you. But get out. Do you think your kids will have a better life with a loving, living mother, or with their out of control father? Protect your physical self immediately, so you can give your kids the rest of you. It will work out for you. You are in the right.

Kaye Bennette

Consult a lawyer and know what is the best possible way you can fight for your right.

suigeneris-impetus

Make your next shopping trip to the grocery store with your children a long drive to mom and/or dads (wherever they are).

Clarity.

Please do go to the police. You do not need to put up with that.
The bite marks were a defence, the police will not press charges if they do fully know that. Do you have any marks of where he hurt you? If so, go to the poilce right now, and show them. You need to tell them before he does, or it wont turn out good. When you press charges, if you divorce him? You will get money, enough to maybe move somewhere else, get a job and rent for the time being. Don't leave this unsettled. the police can, and will, protect you. Don't let it happen again.
Goodluck â™¥

booooooooooooby

911

squidward

press charges, get a restraining order and then get a child support order. I know you're afraid of what might happen if you leave but if you don't it will be MUCH, much worse. Do your kids a favor and get the hell out and have the police stay with you while you pack if he or his parents are there

Kelsea S

Tell the kids to pack everything they want and need and when he's asleep, sneak out of the house with the kids. Leave a note, just dont tell him where you are going and if he calls you or anything, do not pick up. Because, he'll say, "I'm sorry, please come back." Dont fall for that, if you do come back he will only do it again and keep doing it. Just leave when he's asleep.

courtney j

OMG....take ur kids and get the hell outta there gurl! that is putting ur kids in danger just put em in the kar and hit the road

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