My husband Family do not believe me!?

Vbonics

When she asks how the baby is doing reply, "Fine, thanks." This way she can't continue to tell you that you're feeling the wrong things. Every woman is different and will experience things in pregnancy differently. I can understand why this is annoying you, but something like this shouldn't cause arguments between you and your husband. She is being rude, but more than likely she's basing it on her own experiences while pregnant. Good luck!

KYGrace

Just stop telling his Mom anything at all about your condition and she'll get the message. When you visit them, talk about other things and if they bring up your pregnancy, just smile and say that you and your husband are very happy and leave it at that! Also, you can turn the table on the her and ask her all about her pregnancies and then you won't have to talk about yours! Moms always love to talk about having their babies -even years later!!!

ladylady4470

Well, when she asks how is the baby doing say fine. That's it. She can't talk about something you didn't say. I know it is hard but, you are you and all pregnancies are different so no one person can say oh you can't feel that way yet......

FaZizzle

First I would ask yourself--is it worth the fight? Right now you're pumped full of hormones. It's hard to control your emotions when you have so much irrationality about you.

That being said, you know what you're experiencing. Even if she and your SIL didn't experience it, it shouldn't negate the fact that you ARE in pain.

Next time she brings that up, try to make light of the situation. Say something like, "Well, apparently the memo never reached my feet/back/whatever!"

Crypt

Wow... You have more important things to worry about than your husband's family thinking you don't know what you're talking about.

His family probably thinks they're being supportive of you, different families work different ways. Either way, you've got a kid on the way. Do your own thing.

And you may want to ask your husband to at least listen and understand how you feel. Even if he doesn't feel that way himself, he has no right to invalidate your feelings..

carly :]

wow.
:(
Just ignore her, dont let her bug you!
she sounds like an idiot, pain differs for everyone.
you right its rude, but in a few months it will be over and you can rub an adoreable baby in her face :)

PrettyAKA

dont mine them in-laws can be so rude especially my husband side of the family. His mama is just being crazy. The next time she ask you about the baby just say fine and that's all and she will stop talking crazy to you once she see you are not talking at all.

DFed

Next time they ask say "everything is great, thanks" , You are right they don't respect what you are saying nor do they really want an answer to their questions. They just want a chance to make you feel small. People who do this have low self esteem and want others to feel as they do.

I think your husband is trying to be supportive, but doesn't want to disrespect his mother. and family. Don't put him in a position where he has to defend her, because I am sure this is very stressful for him. He does believe you and probably wishes his family wouldn't say that stuff as much as you wish they wouldn't.

Don't waste your breath being open with people who don't truly wan to be there as a support or respect what you say. Pain and sensations are subjective so it is for no one to judge. Its not healthy for you or your baby for you to be so upset about these interactions. Instead find someone who is more supportive and sympathetic to talk to.

shirley v

mothers in law can say things with out thinking next time she asks just say all is fine

fdj1

she is belittling you and she has control issue's
ignore her

Paulette

Every pregnancy is different. You are in the middle of YOUR pregnancy. If it is stressful for you to be in the presence of his family, perhaps it is best to avoid them during the pregnancy.

Ignore what others say. It is of no importance to you. Your husbands behavior and the relationship with your Doctor is the only thing you need be concerned about.

This compares to My husband calling and telling his Mother that he had gotten married. We eloped at 27. She never believed him until the following year when we were expecting our daughter. I never had a great relationship with two Mother in laws. Now it has been forty years and we lived through it all.

So all things pass. You will soon have a precious grandchild they will want to see. So just try to avoid any dissension.
It is important for your baby to have a calm loving pregnancy.
The baby knows when things are not calm and pleasant around the two of you.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Mark K

Wow Marcia lots of issues going on here.
Practice tolerance. When they inquire about your pregnancy
simply answer that all is fine and don't get into specifics.Your mother in law IS comparing her own experience to yours,not necessarily doubting your pregnancy.Her ignorance is HER challenge, don't make it yours. You have lots of hormones and body chemistry going into overdrive and that does have an effect on your feelings. Relax.You should be supported by your husband and family right now...after all your making a baby! See if your husband can do that!
Be flattered that people talk about you (if they are)..most people are so narcissistic they can only think about themselves. Celebrate! Your having a baby! Your bringing a child into the world! Your in laws are secretly excited about it.
Its their fault if they cannot express it properly.ake the world a better place for your child....get along and good luck to you.

Maddy Jinx

Grow a spine woman! Stand up to this lady, even if she is your husband's mother, she has no right to treat you this way, and let her know that. Tell her that SHE is not YOU and whatever she thinks about being pregnant may have been true for her, but its not for you. Why are you so paranoid about them talking about you behind your back? Screw em! You are the one who is pregnant and will be doing all the work, and if they don't like it, than that's THEIR PROBLEM, not yours.

beckymarie2

Your MIL has forgotten alot in the time that has passed since she has been pregnant ... lol

You could always just pretend everything is just perfect when you see her ...

Best wishes for your baby!

tillermantony

Your husband is probably right about his mom trying to be the expert in these matters. Understand that she is only trying in her own way to assert her paternity on her now grown up children, and you being pregnant allows her to stress her importance.
You are with child my dear and it is a difficult time for some. You are sensitive and they dont appreciate how sensitive you are. I hear your words and encourage you to hang in there. Carry your back pain and excess weight like medals of honour. Dont complain to anyone and see how long before they start reminding his mother what a moaning pest she was when she was with child. Show them the sort of stuff real women are made of and dont give them anything 2 beat you with.
It may be your imagination and hormones going awol in which case you may be in for a very loving surprise from Grandma and Dad

julesrules

Dear Marcia,
I don't feel that any harm was meant by your Inlaw's comments. althoough, I KNOW that at times, Inlaws can be "outlaws", when they have "been there.....done that". I'd say though, concentrate on you, the baby and your Husband, because well meaning Inlaws think they're helping, but try not to worry about what they say. I'm sure they aren't gossiping about you; you are a little sensitive right now bcuz your hormones are constantly changing due to the changes going inside of you, the baby growing and that.
Also try to keep in mind that with women every pregnancy is different, say for you it's your hips and back hurting you, etc. noone can say these symptoms are "too early for". Probably your "Mom-in-Law" didn't have these same symptoms in her days of childbearing, or, could be it occured later on for her, then again maybe these weren't an issue for her! that's why I say that pregnancies affect every woman differently.

Here's something, with my first Daughter in 1980, every single day I experienced "Morning sickness" , only at night!!!! I had known from hearing from other Moms-to-be that not all get the morning sickness. see? It is a common symptom but not every woman gets the same ailments that go along with pregnancy.
My second child, I had temporary morning sickness, then with my last, no morning sickness at all but I had the back problems in my 4th month also. so the thing is, it VARIES with each individual woman and can occur at ANY time!

when you say your "backside" is bigger, it's not necessarily bigger, it's that you basically "swell" all over your body which is normal.

People are going to say what they will. you know your own body, after all. maybe from now on you shouldn't discuss your feelings around anyone, only your Hubby. tell him what I told you, that every pregnancy effects each and one of us differently, and not all women get all the same symptoms. Ask him to "side" with you when it comes to his family so that you can feel more secure about your feelings and what you're going through early in your pregnancy.

Be well, and take care!

a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net

First of all, I am a Woman, that is 65, years old, so I guess I know a lot of family problems I have encountered during my Lifetime. Do not be offended with what your Mother-in-law says, If she askes you again, just say, Fine, and do not add anything else she says to you. and do not fight with your Husband about his Mother, because it will eventually divide you both, and there will be no closure, but bitter memories, between both of you, and it is now, when you need some pampering from your Husband. Second of all, if your Mother-in-law, talks about you with her Daughter, ignore them, and if possible do not go to their Houses anymore, or just when there is something that is very important for you to see them. No one knows what you are feeling but, you, pregnancies differ with all Women, what one who is pregnant feels does not mean that someone who had a Baby before you felt the same way, so, as I mentioned ignore what they tell you, and concentrate in you feeling comfortable with the coming Baby. If you want peace with you and your Mother-in-law, just let her, say what she wants and just say yes, but when she is gone blot it from your mind, and concentrate on feeling better as each day passes, for the sake of your Baby, and Husband.Remember that she is the Mother of your Husband and he does not want to disrespect her in any way, and she is the one that brought him into the World just as you are going to do with your Baby. I am not saying to ignore all she tells you, but, if you want Peace, and tranquility, this is the only way you are going to have it. I guess it is sometimes difficult to handle a Mother-in-law, because I am one to two, daughters-in-law, and five sons-in-law, I do not have any problems with the sons-in-law, I love all of them the same as I do my Daughters-in-law, but the ones I have trouble with are the daughters-in-law, and I have always tried to be good to them in any way I have been able to be, but, for me it is fine, as long as they are good to my Sons, and have closure between them. So, I have always tried to stay away from them as much as possible so, as not to bring them problems in their Marriages. Good Luck, to you, and I hope you, might be able to better understand your Mother-in-law, just do not let her manipulate your Life, with your Husband or baby.

had been in that situation too! my mil conceived and gave birth to her children like nothing happened at all, so she says. she would even be doing household chores on her 9th month of pregnancy. i, on the other hand experiences severe back and leg pain on the 4th, and had morning sickness during the 1st tri. i completely understand how you feel bec i felt the same way too. she would blurt it out in front of everyone else how come i have too many complaints/pains, when during her time, it was like she's not pregnant at all...

what i did was talk to my husband, and requested to excuse me the next time he plans to visit my mil. this way, i get my much needed rest without feeling guilty at all.

777 :)

Believe in everything that you feel from this family. Your pregnant, your more sensitive to things. It a way of protecting the baby. Sounds as if the mother doesn't believe in her son. more then believing in you. 1. she could be jealous. 2. Just a beach no matter who he is with. 3. Tell them all to go to hel* ! 4. Ask on Y! Do you like your mother en law! Watch the response of NO!! 5. All guys are freaky before the baby is bone. Just be careful. It's not you. It's them.

Miss May 31st 2009 Bride!

dont let her get ot you the stress of all of this can hurt you and the baby, my husbadn is the same way and cant stand up to his family just last week his unlce yelled and cussed me out while he was drunk because of something his daughter said about me that wasnt true, we had 2 big fights over this and nothing really got desalved, so what you need to do is just enjoy your husband and ya'll pregnacy and not let her bother you next time she ask if somethings wrong say noope nothing every things great or if you do tell her just say well my family is differant sorry your pregnacy was so easy. but the main thing is dont let her hurt the relationship between you and your husband.

itskristynahun

Either go get a doctor
and have it say your
having a baby.

or wait until your in Labor
call her on the phone, and
say "do you believe me now???!?!?!"

idon'tknowwhoiam

She is ignorant to the fact that all pregnancies are different. I didn't show until I was 6 months along. She's full of crap. Everyone was telling me my baby was going to be unhealthy, but he was almost 8 lbs! You may also find it so rude because you are very sensitive right now at this time in your life. You don't feel support from your husband maybe because he doesn't understand your feelings of vurnerability right now. Hang in there!

princess_dnb

Ok, so here is my suggestion for you. When she asks how the baby is doing, don't respond with your physical symptoms of the pregnancy. Respond with something like, "I went to the doctor (on Monday or two weeks ago or whenever you went last), and the doctor said that everything seems to be going just fine with the baby." This will answer her question politely and you won't be setting her up to make a snotty comment about you.

Also, if you feel that she doubts your pregnancy, when you get your ultrasound done, get the printed page with the pictures. Then make some copies and give them to her and some other family members in little frames or cards. Try to find something that says baby's first picture or make your own. I've heard of a lot of people doing this recently, so it wouldn't be totally weird of you to do it, it would be the trendy new thing.

oceananemonie

Obviously, you are caught in a typical marital conundrum. Your female in-laws for some reason do not think you are good enuff for their son/brother. This likely has nothing to do with you. People like this don't think anyone is good enuff. It is hard to be in your position, but if your husband does not stick up for you, this may eventually ruin your marriage. Every pregnancy is different. I have 4 kids and never had morning sickness. Others know they are pregnant before the test because they get sick every morning. As muscles begin to adjust and your hormones change preparing to support and eventually deliver your baby, you may experience all sorts of little aches and pains. Round ligament pain is quite common in the 4th month. Many early aches and pains subside as your body adjusts, only to be replaced later on by different aches and pains. Over all the first pregnancy is the hardest because you don't know how your body is going to react, what to expect, and because you've never experienced it before. I strongly suggest childbirth classes for you and your husband. Then he will know what you're saying is true. The two of you will also be prepared for a calm and happy delivery. Enjoy your pregnancy. When older, you will look on it as among the happiest times of your life.

Colleen O

Let's see, your mother in law asks you about how the BABY is doing and all you can do is talk about yourself? Maybe you should learn to LISTEN to what people are asking and to answer the questions ASKED rather than focusing everything on yourself.

urkey82

In-laws...can't live with them and can't shoot them! Next time she asks about the baby just say, "The baby is fine" don't comment on anything else because obviously it isn't going to matter what you say. How long ago did your mother-in-law have her last child? If it was over 6-8 years ago then she has probably forgotten a little. The more time passes the more we forget little details and the aches/pains that go along with pregnancy. Just like every time someone tells a story the details may change.

I understand the emotional support a pregnant woman needs, but men don't often realize how much support is actually needed. By telling him how you feel about his mother and sister and what you think they may be doing or saying behind your back, is only going to make him upset and drive a wedge between you. No matter what he is still Momma's little boy and nothing is going to change that. When you feel upset and you need to talk about these feelings, call a friend or message a friend. Tell them all about it..get it off your chest. Just don't do it loud enough for your husband to hear you complain because he'll feel like you're rubbing it in his face.

Good Luck and Best Wishes

Nessaja

think of it like this, hes between a rock and a hard place, he should stick by you and tell him family to shut up but hes not he got a hard job trying to make both end of his life happy. keep plugging along in your life and be vocal about how your feeling its differnet for everyone.

Raghavendra R

Okay I understand the question, I shall tell you after one or two months they will start accepting your Pregnancy and they will also be happy that they are getting a promotion in their life by means of you deliver a child. All the best yours
vrvrao

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