My husband gambled away our house fund in Vegas! What do I do?

ryan

Become a street walker, its good money...

Kathy R

That would make me very angry as well. Tell him how hurt you are by this and that he needs to figure out a way to make up what he lost, even if it means working overtime if that's an option.

Chriztina

Tell him to get a part time job to pay back the money and to add more into it because of what he did. I would also be super pissed. I would not stand for that kind of behaviour, I would make sure I have my own bank account so if I ever needed money because he blew it, it would be there. Many couples fight about money and I'm so sorry it's happening to you so soon. Cover your own butt in case he develops a bad gambling problem.

Lola

I don't blame you for being angry. He has broken your trust and needs to repair it. He needs to sincerely apologize to you and get help with his gambling problem. Counseling would be very beneficial to your relationship because he needs to be more responsible and considerate about you.

michael w

Dumb stupid thing to do..............your call. You can eat his *** out when he walks in the door or you can make him feel worse by not saying a thing about it...........he's expecting you to lay into him. Make him sweat it out.

And read up on why Vegas is Vegas!!!! Their not in business to lose money!!!

Cathy T

I don't blame you for being angry - I would be too! What a dumb, dumb thing to do! I think he got carried away. I am sure he knows he has been really stupid and he will probably be very very shamefaced when he gets home.

He will be expecting you to be angry and upset. Maybe wait and see what he says. Perhaps he has something in mind to make it up to you. Try not to let it wreck your new marriage. Think - how long will it take you to save up that amount again?

3 months? A year? even 5 years? Well, ok. So that's X amount of savings time blown. You will have to wait a little longer before you get a house together. But you still have the rest of your lives to spend together. Is it worth spoiling that over $600?

Winter Glory

gamblers anonymous or divorce court give him the ultimatum.

MÎ±tt

I would consider going to financial counseling, you seem to have a good idea about money and how saving for a house is very important, hearing that from someone else might help him to understand. If you don't take care of this now you may end up with money problems for the rest of your marriage. Good luck.

GoodGuy53

It's not worth destroying you love and marriage over any amount of money. Be mad, let him know how disappointed you are, but make sure he knows you still love him through the discussion. Tell him you need him to be a better partner than that.

Sturm und Drang

I think you have to confront him on this immediately. It is possible for someone to be addicted to gambling and that he/she will need treatment in order to stop. I guess I'd tell him he needs to enter gambling treatment immediately.

Just saying

get him professional help.

Ria J

It's not that he does not care about you or your goals...he does not care about himself. The problem lies in him. Its not you, its him. Until you both realize that, neither one of you will get be able to solve this problem.

Just remember control what you can. You could start a savings account in your own name at a different bank for the house fund.

myenzo

I yhink you are very lucky it was only $600 ,some people gmble away alot more than that ..Also get out of the marriage or get all his wages paid into a safe account.

My father was a gambler and drunk ,and when mom starts to ask where is the money for food rent gas and electricity .He of course cannot stand the pressure because he does not have the money ,so the only way to stop this pressure is too go and have a drink ,however as the money has gone, he has to beat the questioner to stop the pressure of answering difficult questions .

get out now ,or the first time he beats you.

nhl_lover1

If he is a man of principle......he would get a second job and make up for the lost funds. He sounds like a guy to put to the curb. To use money set for the future is really a breach of trust. He basically stole from you.

chantel

i would first sit him down and ask him to be honest with you about the reasons why he chose to do this. explain to him that you hurt but you want to try to work this out rationally. if there is an underlying reason why he made poor choices, maybe you can work it out, if he did it only because he just doesnt care, well, thats a different story.

i think its important to understand that men think and react differently and he probably doesnt understand why this would hurt you. it may be as simple as just being careless and getting caught up in the moment. this can and does happen.

maybe the thought of buying a house and the whole responsibility factor scares him and he wanted to destroy that possibility as to not think about it.

in any case, i dont think this is a reason to be overly upset. even though it may be all the money you had, its gone. sometimes we have to chalk things up to a bad decision and move forward.

in any case, best of luck!

Tired Old Man

One of my sisters had a husband who maxed out their credit card on gambling,unbeknown to her. They ended up in DIVORCE.

palmreader

I am tempted to say 'Divorce him'.If you find it toodifficult at least give him an ultimatum that this was his last chance. Nothing silly like this anymore or he is out.He must stay away from any form of gambling.If you feel it's necessary, counselling could be an option.

Sirena

Tell him. Communication is the key to a succesful marriage. He needs to know when you're upset, even if that means you have a row now and then.

However, stop and think for a moment. Have you been putting too MUCH pressure on yourselves to save? You should allow yourselves a small treat now and then, otherwise you'll explode. And maybe that's what happened to your husband.

Also remember that he was at a sales convention with a lot of guys. I bet many of them would have gambled away far, far more than $600 at that convention. They would have teased him and given him a very hard time if he refused to gamble - and these are work colleagues remember, and he needs to maintain his status in their eyes. So make sure you give him a chance to explain his side of the story, too.

777nomo

Unfortunately he lost the $, but it could have been worse! As long as he's not close enough to frequent a casino, you should be fine! However, If he continues to gamble, it will not change unlesss you leave him altogether. I know for a fact, because it happened to me. It was so bad and even got to the point to where I lost our home and lost my marriage due too those darn places. If he goes, just make sure you are on the same page about how much you are willing to lose. It's not that he doesn't love or care about you, it's just that he seems to have A COMPULSIVE DISORDER and couldn't control himself at the time. I also know that if he had access to any kind of money (ie: credit cards, checks, debit cards) at the time, then he would have donated it all. A compulsive person will stop @ nothing just to hit that big one. He will use all resources and nothing will stop him unles you are right next to him to monitor him. I know I sound harsh, but this is the way it is. Hopefully you don't live too close to casino's. If so, then you need to be in total control over the finances. GOOD LUCK to you and your marriage.

jumiboo

i understand what you are saying. you need to sit down and talk this over with him because apparently you two are not on the same page. most people who spends like that have a problem and it will be very hard for you to reach your goal if that is the cast

nickname

Yeah, I feel sorry for you! Addiction is a nasty thing, whatever it's to. Is he sorry? If he is, he really needs some gambler addiction therapy. Put all your money in a seperate account, so you'll have control over what you need. If he's sorry, he should be able to recover from this. If he's not, you might want to think about seperation. Most people that are gamblers I've found, are optimistic people, and have alot of hope that they will soon win. It's not a reflection on you at all, it's just a sign of his addiction having more control over him than he has over himself.

MNL_1221

Oh, yuck!

Has he gambled uncontrollably before? If so, ask him to go into Gamblers Anonymous, and if he won't, do it yourself, or ask GA about this.

If this is the first and only time he's done this, tell him how angry and disappointed you are, but don't insult him. Attack the act, not the person. You might want to get a third neutral party to talk about this with you both, such as a clergyperson. Be willing to forgive him, but don't dismiss this like it's nothing. Find ways to help him check and control his behavior so that he doesn't do this again.

Either way, chances are he feels crappy about this. He may need a good friend or trusted relative or counselor to help him sort out his feelings. Stand by him, but also hold him accountable for his actions.

Good luck and God bless!

BluePassion

Have a heart to heart talk with him. People make mistakes, and I'm sure he wasn't thinking when he did this. A place like Vegas can be very addicting. Talk to him and explain how this makes you feel. Do it in a calm manner, yelling, crying, etc., will get you no where. If you speak to him calmly but firm and explain to him how every cent matters for your future right now, you may be able to get an understanding as to why he did it. Like I said, it may have easily have been poor judgement. He may have been thinking that he could double up the money and add even more to the funds. Communication is key. Don't listen to some of these people on here who simply say "divorce." You are just starting a new life together, there are going to be mistakes and you will both learn from them. Once you speak about this and you both come to an agreement, then move on and don't bring it up again, unless it happens again.

Good luck.

mchlmybelle

Shame you can't gamble him away........but then who would play in that game?
Frankly, I don't know how your going to approach that, besides the possibility of making an agreement that you hold on to the the cash, and handle the finances. Do you think he will agree to that?
I think at this juncture that sounds like it would be your best bet; no pun intended. You need to set down and have a heart to heart, this could cause some big issues with trust.

poopsie

sounds like maby gamblers anonymous, you guy's sound like you are young, and I'm sure your husband's ego got in the way, just talk to him, and set him straight, that your not gonna put up with this kind of behavior, do it before you have children, it's too bad, but some men never grow up, and it's not a fun life to lead, especially if you plan to have a family!!!!

mysterian

Tell him you are extremely disappointed in what he did, and if he does it again, you will leave.
Let him know in no uncertain terms that you want out of the apartment into a house, and he must make weekly contributions to that goal.
Have a bag packed to show him you mean business.

pplwatching

He may not have a gambling problem, but just got caught up in the heat of the moment. Everyone thinks the next hand will be the one that wins the money back. I think that the bright side of this is that he just learned a $600 lesson now, and not a $20,000 lesson when you had saved a little more.

You need to sit down and talk to him. It's fair and reasonable that you let him know how disappointed you are. You can ask him how he felt when he was gambling, if it was an impulse he couldn't control. Listen to what he has to say.

It's also a good opportunity for you to strengthen your marriage by forgiving him if he is truly sorry. Ask him what he is willing to give up to make the money up. Ramen noodles for lunch and no cable TV?

If you make his life hell, it will come back to bite you when you pay too much for something.

Cheripie

Get into counseling & do it QUICK! Get him in for his obvious gambling addiction and you for your peace of mind & help to help him & you both. If that doesn't work, you need to leave the relationship even if it is only temporary until he gets his act together!!!! I see a lot of this, living in Las Vegas myself & you'd be surprised at how many locals like myself do not even care to gamble & how many do. The novelty wears off quick, but don't wait too long or you'll end up homeless!!! Please act NOW!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!

Yog

make him aware of ur future life, if he feels sorry now and says he has made mistake and would not repeat it again, then support him for a better life.

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