My husband goes out all the time!!?

free_angel

Since he likes his friends so much, send his **** over to their place. That'll let him know you're tired of his **** and having a baby with him is the last thing on your mind.

AestheticWorld

Tell him how you feel, if he is not willing to change for you then he is not worth it, and dont have a baby unless you know he will be there for you whilst pregnant & that he will be there for the child as it grows up, having a child is a joint effort and you will both have to put 100% into it.

It sounds like you two aren't compatable anyway. He should invite you out with him or not go out at all. If he is in love with you then he would want to be around you all the time.

greenorlagh

You're not happy? Sounds like he's not happy either. Always two sides to the story. What's your home life like? Do you laugh? Do you talk to each other? Does he abuse you? Do you abuse him? Sounds more like a communication problem to me. Get him to sit down and talk together.

okiemuskvet

HE IS A CONTROL FREAK. Right now, he's got his cake and eating it too, right now. He is married, has you at home to come home to, and is playing with his boys, and who ever else he is spending his time with. With you showing your dislike, its showing him that he is loosing control of you so he wants to have a baby with you so you will still have that emotional tie with him and he can maintain the control over you. DONT TAKE IT!!! If he will never change for you, as he has said, then you dont need to change for him. Stay true to yourself, not him. Take care of yourself and get out now while you still can without any ties. A child will only make things worse for you and also harder down the long road.

Prove to him that he cant control you and he will be the one leaving. you deserve better anyway. this type of guy is a looser!!!!!

Jonathan G

sounds like you got a bad husband

suga UK

Dont start a family with him you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Please take the good advice given to you here and kick him out. He doesnt deserve you.

hogsnotbubbles

How can he make a baby if he's never home?

He only wants a baby to use as a control measure on you.
I'd hold off on that baby if I were you and really..........he is right about you getting your own social life. Bet once you get one, his *** will be staying home and ordering you not to go out!!

Beware and listen to his words..............he says he'll never change so put up with it or get out now before a baby keeps you where your not happy!!!

ginger

DO NOT have a baby with this childish selfish man....you will regret it!

Gemini

If your not happy,I surely wouldnt bring a baby into it.That would probley make things worse cuz he will know you cant go out.I would seperate let him know you mean bussiness

fruitcake

a marriage is a partnership and your husband is still acting like a single guy, never change for a person your husband should love you for who you are. if you have a baby now you will be bringing it up on your own, you need to have a good look at you marriage and ask your husband to com it fully to you and a future family, you should get married for love not to stay at home, if your husband cannot commit to you fully then it may be time to move on with your life and find someone who will commit to you fully and not expect you to find your own entertainment while they go out and live it up.

Alan

look gurl, it's not your fault
he's the one tht need's to change
NOT YOU
if he'd rather be out with his "friends" than with his wife, that is a serious problem
and a baby isnt something just one person in the relationship can handle
a baby take TWO parents, not one

kevina p

Hi, No he will never change, but you can. Go out with your friends have a good time. Also go out with your husband, but one thing is for sure i would not have a baby until you know your relationship is rock solid, he may want you to have a baby so you can't go out you will be stuck at home with the baby. Then again if he is issuing ultimatums he may still leave you even if you have a baby and the novelty has worn off after a few months. A lot of careful consideration needs to be over this one. Don't do anything in haste. Good Luck x

pinktoenails

I took a look at your other questions and it sounds like there are deeper problems in this relationship. Since talking with him has not helped, I recommend marriage counseling, although Im not sure he would want to participate. Looks as if though you are always left holding the bag ( emotionally at least). Think carefully about why you married this person, what was it that drew you in? If you can still find that in him you might find a reason to make this work. Sometimes couples outgrow each other.

Having a baby is a tremendous step and a big commitement. But I dont need to tell you that a baby will not improve a relationship because it is very stressful. Think about what you want and not what your husband wants.

best of luck to you.

oceania

Your husband doesn't even seem to be mature enough to be a father ! Having a baby isn't going to solve anything ..it'll stress you out especially when he'll be out f #$%@!^ about with his mates....get all his favourite socialising clothes and burn them all !...he's not taking you seriously...after that......he will !....don't take it lying down especially this early in your marriage...sort it out NOW !

Wooderson

Well, you have to come to a conclusion about what you want. Do you want to stay with a guy who knows that you are "lonely" and upset about his actions, and basically tells you "I don't care - deal with it?" Do you want to stay with a guy who will leave you if you don't have a baby right now? If so, go ahead and have the baby. However, if I were you I would not expect that you having a baby will make him stay home. YOU will be home with the baby, and he will be out with his friends.

Kissed by a Prince !

Why does he want you to have a baby? So you can stay in even more, and then you won't complain of being lonely, because you have the baby?

Change? Why should you change? What is he, a man or a boy? He needs to take his responsibilities seriously, and not be neglecting you and spending all your money at the pub.

Cheeky b.....

He isn't going to change, he's told you that. So? What you gonna do, put up with this misery for the rest of your life?

Get shot of him. The muppet.

kat g

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akitamommy2

Seems like your idea of marriage is different from his. There is nothing wrong with each of you having a seperate social life but when he feels more interested in going out 4 nights a week with friends then the writing is on the wall. Are the office parties just for employees or spouses can come too? If he is going to leave you because he wants a baby now then I'd help him pack his bags and call him a cab. He sounds like he wants to control the relationship and he is not interested in your feelings. If he loves you he would make time for you instead of spending all his time away from home. You are not happy so you need to think real hard about what kind of future you see for yourself with him. Is he going to help out with the baby or leave you high and dry so he can go play with his friends?

marilynfsmgm

tell him you want to go out with him where ever he goes all the time. if he doesnt want you to,then i would rethink my relationship with him. he doesnt want to do anything with you but he wants you to be there for him. the only reason he says he wants a kid now is to keep you occupied and give you more of a reason to stay home and not wiyh him. you would be raising that child by yourself.do you have a job? if not get one. then i would start making plans on leaving. he wants his freedom and someone to take care of him at home,nothing more. i would use all precautions possible to not get pregnant.

chris n

No. Don't change. He shouldn't be out 4 nights a week unless it's with you. And what's all this rubbish he's giving you about have a baby now or I'll leave you? If he's prepared to leave you now for not getting pregnant, he certainly WILL leave you once you've got the baby and are tied to him forever. Sounds like he likes you being a doormat. Bit of a control freak isn't he. Go home to your mother and let him come running after you. If he doesn't - ditch him. If he does and you do decide to go back with him, DON'T GET PREGNANT until he's grown up. This might take some time (years, not months or weeks). In fact, you might do best to just ditch him completely and start again with someone else who appreciates you for what you are. You aren't happy now and you won't be happy in the future either if you are with him. He is not going to change. He'll still be the same selfish person when he's old. You, on the other hand sound nice, if a bit confused. You also sound a bit timid. Go back to your mother for a bit of moral support. She'll probably tell you she didn't like him in the first place. Listen to her. Get yourself a proper life and when you look for a new man, don't pick the same type again. Don't go rushing into marriage and babies until you've had a bit of life yourself. You'll be much more confident and much more attractive and you've got years ahead of you yet to do all that 'home' stuff.

pictureshygirl

Don't have a baby!! Your marriage is not on stable ground and your husband seems to not be committed into making any changes to work on the marriage. If you have a child you will foolishly be making the biggest mistake of your life. Your husband sounds controlling and manipulating and he will be even more so once you have a child. He wants you to have a child as a way to have you need him even more and trust me he will use the child to control you if you ever do decide to leave him. Please do not make this fatal mistake of having children with this man. He is not a good husband, and he sounds like he wants the benefits of marriage and to not have to let go of his single life either. Why did you ever marry him?

NY to Athens 1970

He will never change. You will have a baby, stay home, never see him, it'll get worse, you'll get depressed and feel stuck at that point because of the baby. Dump him.

The WiÅ¾ard

Don't listen to all the bone heads that say you're over reacting. When you get married you expect the person will be there for you and want the things you want together. This man is totally dis-respecting you and needs to learn what commitment means. Thats what a marriage is suppose to be, a commitment. You have every right to fuss about him being gone all the time. People do need to be able to do things with friends and to remain who they are but ,taking in mind they have a spouse who they have vowed there love, honor and commitment to. It doesn't sound like hes doing any of that.

Valerie X

I agree with Ginger.......having a baby with this guy would be a HUGE mistake.

DO NOT SAY YOU WERE NOT WARNED!

Bluefox650

You need to address the situation with him...
Tell him, that if you were to start a family, you dont want to be left with the child night after night.
Or, you could get your own social life, and start going out on the nights that he's in....see how he likes it!

LouLou

i would never change for a man. tell him to sling his hook and get damned shut of him. the selfish pig

tibbytoes

I've been married for eight years and have a six year old child. My husband and I have arguments all the time concerning his staying out with his friends/work colleages to the point where I have been very very close to leaving him. My advice to you is to steer clear of this man unless he is willing to grow up. Marriage is a partnership - if the man wants to continue acting like he is living a single life, then give him a single life because life is short and not worth wasting on someone who is selfish and childish.

I am more or less trapped because I can't go out while he is out enjoying himself - I have to stay at home and look after our child while he goes out having a good time. It's not fair and it leads to real misery. His work colleagues egg him on - blokes together sometimes act like a bunch of toddlers and they seem to think it a real source of fun to treat a wife like some kind of stereotypical "her indoors" Nora Batty style woman who deserves to be treated like a doormat. It can make you feel really worthless and depressed. Take it from my own experience and either tell this bloke to grow up fast or move on with your life. The last thing you should do is have a child with him at this stage. You have a future ahead of you, so be careful with it and enjoy life.

Good luck!

Doctor John

If I were your husband I'd NEVER come home; Stop whining!

Vbonics

If your husband is never going to change, then you should definitely not have a baby with him. Unless, of course, you want to be the only one to look after the child while your husband is out having fun with his friends. If he wants a child so bad he needs to stop acting like one.

In part it is your responsibility to have your own social life. I can understand that you want to spend time with your husband, but you need friends too. I think he's being very stubborn, the best answer here would be a little compromise from both sides. For example, he can still go out with his friends, but twice a week instead of 4 times. As for you, tell him you don't want to have his baby until his behavior changes a bit. If he leaves after that, rejoice you will be better off without him. Good luck! =)

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