My husband has been smoking, does that make him a liar?

Just Me

He is hiding it because he loves you. He wants to smoke, but he loves you and he knows it bothers you. He doesn't want you to be mad at him, so he does it behind your back.

If you don't care if he kills himself by smoking, then don't make him hide it. Make him go outside or something, but give him the choice.. then he won't have to lie...

Smoking 2 cigaretts a day IS possible.. I only smoked when I worked for a long time, so I only smoked twice a day...

He may be a "liar" but he is lying because that is what you want to hear...

vimesfan01

Does it make him a liar?

Did he lie?

Yes?

Then there you go.

ChrisS

A liar? maybe.

A closet smoker? definitely.

WA_Student

You and your husband should have a discussion.

You should begin by saying, 'I will listen to everything you have to say and I wouldn't interrupt you because when you're done I will expect the same when I speak."

Tell him you expect honesty, don't get angry and try and settle your differences regarding this issue.

â™ªâ™« Michaela n_n â™ªâ™«

Technically yes. :-)

macca3477

Is he lying or just withholding the information? I would be more concerned and questioning why he feels he has to keep this from you or deny it.

Big Bang Love

well...
obviously when he smokes he feels happy and content..

he probably doesn't want you to know he smokes because he might think you wouldn't like it and wouldn't approve of it..

The best thing to do is maybe have a talk with your husband and tell him you know he smokes and you're fine with it (that is if you are) but he should tell you important things and decisions like smoking...

Car!

Yes, he couldn't tell you the truth so you had to go look for it. Thats not good in a relationship. It should be an open relationship he shouldnt of denied it in the first place!

here

If that's the only thing he's hiding then he's a good man and you should be thankful. I understand why you hate that he smokes since it's horrible for him, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he's a bad person. It's a terribly difficult addiction to break (I've read it's as difficult as heroin.) So try to cut him some slack.

hlnlange

You are taking this way to personal. Being a smoker is something entirely different to someone that hides smoking. It gives you a major kick - the exitement of the thought of maybe getting caught - the more you are going to nag about it, the better it will feel for him to hide his smoking. Let him be - he's a big boy.

Chances are, if you allow him to smoke, he will probably really just have one or two or quit entirely (lack of exitement).

ButtonHead

it sounds like you have done your research very well on him. Maybe if you don't hound around or nag him about it he won't lie to you. I'd be grumpy toO! Like you said "its his right to kill himself" so leave him alone. He's going to do it either way you like. It's always good to choose your battles! I hope it all works out! chow

i dont see the big deal he may be stressed some people smoke for that reason he smokes oh well its not like he;'s cheating on you

baby g

hi there ,where there is smoke there is fire , right ? wrrong -I was in a situation where your husband is at and my husband where you at , instead of questioning rather find out what led him to smoke maybe stress related or financial matter or even peer pressure , what ever the reason remeber you love this man he him you and what ever the reason it can be and will be over comed its that simple ,today i am still a smoker and for 5 years know my self and my husband made an agreement he hates the smell of smoke so i smoke outside and when i done i brush my teeth and have a sweet , he buys me smokes at times ans still trys to mitivate me to stop smoking but at the same time he loves me so he is there for me . love your man , trust your man and together you will over come this - good luck

Gabbygirl

So he lied about smoking, listen that would be the least of my worries,he lied because he knows you don't approve.Plain and simple, just tell him your feeling hurt because he lied about it, discuss it with him at length, if he chooses to smoke, that"s his choice I smoke too, but I really want to quit, but don't nag him about smoking though, that will just want to make him smoke more,when he comes to terms he will stop on his own.tell him that you don't want him smoking around you, in the house or in the car if it bothers you and tell him his clothes wreak of smoke and it makes you sick, and that maybe he should do his own laundry.One last thing, he only lied about smoking, prioritize things, its not like he's cheating on you with someone else, like I said things could be alot worse.

sharonsmineonly

Of course if someone is not telling the truth its a lie. BUT you might want to think about why he doing it. Is he telling you hes not smoking because he thinks that's what you want to hear? I'm not saying you are the reason or its your fault, what I am saying is talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't want to admit hes a smoker because he wants to stop but cant. Maybe try to talk about it without being judgmental or calling him a liar. Just say you want to talk about the smoking. Don't accuse him and that wont give him cause to lie.

niksie19

i went through the same thing with my boyfriend. he feels hes being forced to hide it from you because he WANTS to smoke but doesnt want to upset you because he knows you want him to quit. it does make him a liar, but you also have to understand that smoking is an addiction, and its hard for most people to just outright quit. communicate with him, and ask him what he thinks about quitting, and then tell him that he really does have to quit, but you understand it happens in time (id say a few months is reasonable). buy him some nicorettes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boo Boo Keys

Not a liar, we all lie. But he did lie to you and you need to talk to him about his lying and then his smoking (if it bothers you). You're married, for God's sake! Talk these things out

Joe P

Try this "honey i do not care if you smoke but do not lie about it please"

then do not nag him or complain in any shape or form

mr.mike

Do you always tell him the exact truth, are you perfect? a little white lie what ever it's nothen that bad . i smoke sometimes my wife hates it

Don Robeo

"He has the right to kill himself" statements like that are what make your husband cranky. This is a simple pleasure that has of late been blown to pieces. I do not smoke and yes it stinks (when blown directly in my face is the only time I can't tolerate it) but it has been a way of life for centuries now. Look at all those black and white movies and sitcoms, everyone is smoking and allot of those people are alive today. My grandfather lived to be 87 and smoked every day of his life and Andy Kaufman died of lung cancer never having smoked a day in his life. You want to solve the problem truly? Plan a dinner of his favorite sort. Take him out to the patio where there is a packet of his brand, light him up and rub his shoulders while he smokes it.......guy the guy a break, he's having a cigarrette, not an affair with your sister.
P.S. NEVER EVER EVER LET HIM KNOW YOU DID THIS!!!

latufffa

yes and no..im sorry

Dan S

As an ex-smoker...it is really REALLY tough to quit that habit..running is the only way i could do it...running and smoking dont mix...just keep that in mind..tough as hell to break a nictionie habit

john.salguero

Yes, yes it does. But I think he is ashamed of it and thats why he is hiding it from you, he might want to get off of it, which requires a lot of dedication and support, but first he must admit that he is addicted no matter how much he doesn't want to believe it.

Marina

He isn't hiding it from you for kicks. He's hiding it from you because you disapprove and he doesn't want to hear it every single moment of his waking life. Your his wife not his warden, and he is a grown man!

jamienkori

You need some personal counseling.

Cocker S

Well, I don't think he's a liar. I mean I can understand him, if anything he didn't want his habit to bother you. I'm sure if he could help it he'd quit. This is stuff is as addictive as coke.

BeatlesMania

hard question. I am a "recovered" smoker. My husband hated it, so I quit before we were married. Every once in a while I will be at a bar and have a smoke. The guilt gets me so bad, it is the first thing that pops out of my mouth when I get home..."I had a cig..I'm so sorry"

The bottom line is, he is understanding that the occasional cig is a little indulgence I enjoy.

The reason I quit for him is because he told me he loved me, and wanted me to live as long as God would let me. He didn't want a battle of addiction to be the center of our lives.

I think if you tell him WHY you are concerned he might be compelled to quit. And, if you are completely unjudgmental of the occasional, he will be ALOT less likely to hide it!

Honesty, communication, Honesty, Communication.

Officer.

yeah. so? i smoke 2 times a day too. i dnt tell my dad. if he found out hed call me a liar too. even tho im 18, i dont tell em. but still. i do smoke 2 a day. i jus lie about not smoking. so hes a liar tellin u he didnt smoke, but u dont know if hes a liar if he smokes 2 a day or not. he might be. i do. so dont call him a liar unless u catch him in a lie. guilty until proven innocent. n cut him sum slack woman. let the man smoke. do u stress em out that bad that he needs a stogey once in a while? who cares.

Reenah85

That doesnt nessesarily mean that he is a liar..
but he is probably 2 stressed out and ppl often smoke ciggerattes
2 release some stress. He obviosuly sees that u dont like ciggerattes so he denies smoking... and soooo..?

PurplePalooza

Yes, if you are doing something and denying it, you are a liar.

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