My husband has exclusive possession of our home and?

delux_version

Fire the lawyer, get a new one, file for your own bankruptcy and take control of your life. Now for the weird description. Everyone trashes the ex spouse here without thinking what it says about them. But, "He" got the house, the kids, and has the job. He was awarded the children and looks like he cleaned up in court. (So did I) So, if he is an abusive controlling drug addict, what do you think we are pulling from this if a judge who has had years of higher education chooses him over you? I am not buying it sister! Someone was neglectful!

lady_phoenix39

Oh, please.

If the court gave him a drug test (a hair folicle test), he wouldn't have custody of "your" children.

So something else is going on here.

I'm not sure, but he can't file bankrupcy and leave you with HIS debt.....you should only have YOUR debt....and if he had an attorney worth a grain of salt, he'd have asked about JOINT debts too.

Try again.

Renee P

So much depends on where you are. The site, freeadvice.com has pretty good information about what laws are like in different states. However, in general*:

1. If he uses drugs and this is a provable fact (failed drug tests, etc), you should have no trouble getting at least joint custody, especially if you can move in with your folks for a while to show a stable home.
2. Unless your debts were contracted after the legal separation, he should still be on the hook for those. His BK may even be illegitimate, since he apparently didn't declare all the debt he has. Of course, you can also file but that's also going to leave you some trouble.
3. It sounds like you may have concerns about whether you have a good attorney. It might be worth talking to a couple more to see if it's worth changing.
4. After the divorce? Life happens. It'll be a rough couple of years probably, but in my experience, six months after, I was happier and emotionally healthier. You'll find a job, hopefully get custody of the kids, and start over. It's a hard experience but a good one.

*Please keep in mind, I am not a lawyer, and this should not be a substitute for good legal counsel.

ozncj

Get a job and start supporting yourself. File your own bankruptcy if you have to. Start saving some money up. Keep in touch daily if you can with your kids so they know you are still there, this is just an awful time. Make plans for a place to stay and set up a place for the kids so that when you are ready and stable for a few months you can take him back to court for custody. Be prepared to take a drug test if needed since he is doing drugs, make sure you are not. Don't be ugly in front of the kids just because he is being that way. You need to take the proper steps for yourself so that you can be the breadwinner for the children. As long as you have a safe place for them to stay, it doesn't matter if he makes more money than you. Once you have custody or at least shared or joint custody he will pay child support. So keep your eyes and heart on the prize of having your children back in your life. Focus on that and it will drive you to succeed and will keep you from falling into depression. As their mother you are the preferred parent so once you prove you are also able to handle your own finances, have a job, and provide shelter custody should automatically be able to be joint. Unless he is lying to you. How do you know he has custody? Did your ex tell you that or the attorney? And if you don't mind my asking why would they give him custody and not you. Normally the woman and children stay in the house and the husband leaves. That might also help with answering your question a little better.

mimzy

Has your lawyer been paid? That could be the reason she isn't working on your divorce. If you have paid her, go see her, get your money back and get another attorney. I don't understand how your husband got the house and kids. If you did nothing wrong, since you were a stay at home mom, he should be paying you alimony and child support. You and the kids should have the house. You really need some help - get you a good attorney to fight this or you will lose everything.

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