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My husband is a great man, but i'm just not happy..what do I do?
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My husband is a great man, but i'm just not happy..what do I do?

When I told him I was unhappy he got so upset that it made me feel bad. I really don't know what to do. HELP! I deserve to be happy, right?
Additional Details
I don't feel like i'm in love with him anymore.


Everyone deserves to be happy. Including your husband. You made the choice to marry him so you need to just deal with it or youre going to look like a total ***** in front of everyone you know.

Okay, so you're really my best friend and you know I really don't think that way.

You know what I think.....you deserve all the happiness in the world, and I just want you to find out what's going to make you happy. :)

K, love ya.

Its not you husband job to make you feel happy every minute of the day or everyday. Your happy within yourself.

by the looks of your profile, you are spending too much time reading everyone elses problems. turn off the Answers and turn on your husband. try it, you might like it

grow up, geeze. you cannot always EXPECT to be happy every single day of your married life. If he is not an abusing person then hang in there, things are bound to get better.

Pray about it and read your bible, you will feel better.

Donna K
Maybe you are just depressed.

You need counselling.

talk to him again and keep talking til he listens and gives you a divorce

If you can, get counseling for yourself first and then try marriage counseling. It can truly help.

Yes! you deserve to be happy and so does he. What makes you unhappy ? Are you able to pin-point that ? If not, write down what you like and dislike about your marriage, not just about him, and maybe you will see some areas that you could both work on together to create a happy, 'medium'. Keep in mind that marriage is never a piece if cake, meant to be easy, or always bliss full. It is really hard work, and sometimes the love will dissipate, but beyond that, a new, stronger love will grow. You married him for a reason, what was that reason ?-- Are you considering a divorce ? If so, are there any children involved-if the answer is yes, consider what message you would be sending to them if you divorced because you, "weren't happy." They will forever have a next to impossible time being content in their own relationships. Remember that all marriages go through 'dry-spells', some longer than others. I really do wish you the best. HTH

You say you aren't happy, but also say your husband is a great man. You make no sense to me, and I am betting you don't understand why you aren't happy. You and your husband have just hit a "boring" place in you marriage and you need to get to know each other again like you did when you first got together.

Yes you deserve to be happy, but so does your husband. Don't be selfish. Stop looking to the other side of the fence to find greener pastures. they aren't over there either. No matter what you do or who you are with, eventually you will get bored with that too. Try to find what it was that attracted you and your husband to each other in the first place and start over together.

Michelle M
Perhaps you should go to a therapist. Maybe they can help you find the root of your unhappiness. It couldn't hurt.

If it's bec something you don't like abt your husband (his action, words, etc), then tell him that honestly and find a solution with him. But if it has nothing to do with him and it's entirely abt you, then you need to find out what caused it. Maybe you're just bored with the routine daily life? Go travelling to a romantic place with him, set up a weekly date with him, do a fun hobby together, etc. It's NOT easy to find a great man. Once you've found him, take care of him and don't lose him. Don;t give the fortune to any other women while it's already in your hand!

Irish Girl
Of course you deserve to be happy. I know it upset him that you aren't happy about it but he has to get over it and relize that he shouldn't stand in your way of happiness. If your not happy with him then you shouldn't be with him your only going to make yourself even more miserable. I know you don't want to hurt him but staying with him isn't helping your situation. You need to be happy even if it's leaving him. It's something you have to do and if he loves you then he'll let you go.

Since when do you, or anyone else, "deserve" anything? Life isn't like that, dearie.
You EARN whatever you get out of life, good or bad. Counseling might help, but until you mature quite a bit more, it's doubtful it will help. You have to want to save the relationship if it is to be saved. Where do you think you'll find happiness if not with him? Happiness is not waiting for you just around the corner and it is certainly not in the form of another, younger and cuter, guy. You want to be happy, concentrate on making others happy. What you do for others will reflect good back onto you.

Don't stay in a relationship that is one sided, it is not fair to either party involved. You should not have to live under a pretense that you are happy and in love, just like your husband should not have to be in a marriage where he is the only person who is lovingly committed. We make mistakes in our lives, you made a bad choice when you married and were not sound in your knowledge that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with your partner. You need to sit down and have a real heart to heart with your husband, seek counseling, speak with a clergy member, find out first if there is anything that the two of you can do together to help before you call it quits. I wish you all the best. Peace.

why aren't you happy? that is what you need to find out and only you can answer that question.find that out and then maybe you can make some changes in your life to feel better .

Everyone deserves to be happy, but why didn't you say something before you got married? Doesn't he deserve happiness too? I think you are going to cause this guy a lot of heartache (from what you said) but that's on both of you to deal with. I wish people would really really really only marry for the right reasons, not to tie someone down, or to feed their materialism, narcissism, etc.

you sound like one of us people that for ever run's around keeping others happy,and u prob,have been doing it so long that u never realised, that u forgot about u along the way. Are u still in love with ur husband is the first issue?if so its worth trying to work it through,but if u are staying with him because u dont think he can handle u leaving,then its time to think about u!that's not an easy task especially if ur not use to it,yes u deserve to be happy, a new year is on the way,why not dedicate it to ur self and work on making u happy,everything else will fall in to place,after all what can it hurt,Little time to get to know u again! good luck!!

Everyone deserves to be happy. Shame on him for getting upset. If he loves you, which I'm sure he does, he should listen to you and listen to why you're not happy.

Try again. Tell him you want to talk about it. I would assume you would want to work it out, right? So talk to him about what has changed in the relationship and why you're unhappy. Guys can be dense--sorry--so let him know what you need to be happy.

And remember, marriage isn't one sided. He might be unhappy a little, too. So see what you two can do to work things out.

Good luck.

if your husband is a great man and you are not happy then you are not good enough for him its that simple so you should get divorced so he can be happy

if u r not happy then he is not happy.
one is showin this unhappyness the other is not.

it's quite possible but be sure.

the unhappiness lies within u not him, no matter who u would be with, you would still be unhappy, as we are all responsible for our own happiness and can't expect someone else to make us happy. get some counseling before u decide to give up on your marriage, if he is a great man than it may be something else.

Alter Day
Mrs C you do deserve to be happy, that's why you got to divorce you're husband A.S.A.P

Tell me, why are you unhappy? Feel free to email me.

How long have ya'll been married? is it something he could change to make you happy?

Todd B
I have been divorced for 3 years now, and it is still very painful. Instead of talking to me, my ex-wife told me our marriage was in trouble after 7 years. I told her I would do anything to save the marriage, she looked at me and said she could not. I found out later that she had been cheating on me for the last four years of out marriage. The one who has been hurt the most has been out daughter. If you have kids, you need to sit down with someone else(a counselor, pastor) and try to work this out. Sometimes a divorce sounds so simple, but it can haunt you for years to come. This is a decision not to be decided on a whim. If you need more help feel free to e-mail me.

Stay unhappy or move on.

yes everyone deserves to be happy.. and odds are if you are this unhappy he is just as unhappy, so do you both a favor and either go to counseling or break up

kelly w
get counseling.......

the grass seems greener on the other side but it's not

in fact it's s h i t brown

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