My husband is abusive when he is drunk..?

redwine

You need help. Seek help before it gets dangerous. Addicts don't quit by themselves, they need a motivation to do it, like you leaving with your kid. text book

blueridgeliving

You don't "want to get a divorce?" Then resign yourself to a short life of misery, pain, depression, and hopelessness. And a child who ends up doing poorly in school, is violent and anti-social, and/or ends up in prison or getting some 14-year-old pregnant.

Listen, hon. Listen real good, too.

Your husband is an alcoholic, or he could possibly be bipolar. Lots of bipolar people drink as a way of "self-medicating" when they are unaware of mental illness issues and go undiagnosed.

If he is an alcoholic - alcoholism is a "progressive disease" which means it will continue to get worse.

IT WILL NEVER, EVER GET BETTER if your husband does not completely quit drinking, and seek professional medical help to see if he has mental issues. He will eventually HURT you really badly, possibly even KILL YOU.

You are a mother.

Your ultimate responsibility is to your self, and to your child. Who is going to raise your child if your husband KILLS YOU during the rage of a bipolar episode? I am not kidding, I could not possibly be more serious.

GET OUT.

Shut up Children

GTFO of that relationship...if he doesnt stop drinking...it will only get worse, especially for the kids! Do NOT put them through an abusive childhood, it will affect them for life! LIFE!

lexirich

stick around then.....hell never change,,,,get out before you end up dead and your children have no mother, merry christmas kids!
wake up woman!

zoee_d

You need to get away from him for your wellbeing as well as your child's

ElectronProbabilityCloud

Lose the ********.

Betty

wow get out now...he will never change...he can try to get help with AA but i doubt that it will work. He is controlling and abusive..not a good man to have around ... leave him while you can...its not worth it

Ren

When you are a parent, you absolutely MUST do what you would want your children to do if put in the same situation. I would hope that in this instance, you would want your child to leave his/her abusive spouse until they sobered up. That is what you must do, seperate, get his butt into AA and don't get back together until he is sober and respects you and your child.

CeciliaM

Have you ever tried Al-Anon? They are a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics and those with alcohol related problems. They can offer TREMENDOUS support for you.

jimstock60

hitting rock bottom is the only thing that will help him, he will have to want to get help for him to make it through this, and that usually means realizing what he's losing or what's gone wrong in his life is his fault. You leaving and taking the kids might be the best thing for him.

Allison, aka Nice Lady

This is awful.

1. Do not get pregnant again.

2. Tell him he either quits drinking forever or you are divorcing him. Tell him you will do what you can to help him, but you cannot do it for him.

3. If he doesn't quit, and STAY quit, have the gumption to leave.

NAQ

Are you nuts? Why are you still in that house? Leave until he gets sober. You are putting yourself and your child in danger.

Nicole V

You need to have a serious conversation with him about your relationship and his addiction when he is sober. You need to take a stand for you and your child!

luvbrady4ever

He will not change for you or for your child.He has to stop for him.I was in your situation a year ago and I never thought I would have the guts to just up and leave but I did.I left my husband because it wasn't fair to our daughters to see it anymore.I told him for a month that if he didn't stop drinking I would have to leave.I guess it didn't matter because I left him the weekend after New Years Day.I thought by me leaving he would change but I guess we weren't good enough because he already has a girlfriend and they are having a baby in a month.This has been a hard year but I know if I was still with him he would still be drinking and beating me in front of the kids and calling me every name you can think of in front of our daughters.I had been with him for 10 years and I never thought it would end up like this.He lost his job,his wife,kids,friends all because of his drinking.I can't tell you what to do because you will do it when you are ready but if he wont stop you have to think about your child.If I didn't think about our kids I would still be with him.This experiece has made me a stronger person.I have my days when I feel like I don't know how I am going to go through this but with the help of my family I am able to live a healthy life with my daughters.Good Luck with your decision and if you ever need to talk or get advice you can email me anytime.

jestersand

place hidden cameras around your house and record his glorious days of passion. When he sobers up, sit your family and him infront of the tv to watch a compilation of a segement you can call "When good Dad's go Drunk" that should teach him some shame. IF he doesnt change then you got a loser and even more you for keeping him. :)

babydoll06

suject therapy when he is sober. do it while he's drunk and he'll just go berserk.

..................A.A...............

colder_in_minnesota

You don't have to put up with that. Unless your husband is motivated to change his behavior, it's not gonna happen. Perhaps you don't want a divorce, but how is this marriage going to affect that one-year old? Is the baby going to be safe? Are you? Check out http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/. They are a bit too religious for my tastes, but they do have some practical answers and guidance that may be useful to you.

PrivacyNowPlease!

You are in serious danger. And not only you but your children too. Please get professional advice. My advice: Get to a safe house-not family or friends where he can talk you into coming back.
I escaped a similar situation with only our 2 year old daughter and the clothes on my back. I speared her a horrible childhood and saved my own self esteem and sanity. This is not to scare you unreasonably-and it could actually save your marriage in the long run.

Nolan Bilder

you have to tell him that he has a choice. either stop drinking or u have no choice but to get a divroce

piegowdealer

He needs Alcoholics Anonymous and YOU need Al-Anon.

You also need serious counselling.

You are also in danger of losing your baby to child protective services.

Please get help before that happens

cooter726

So you prefer death over divorce? Gee, that would leave your 1 yr old with a drunken father. WAKE UP!!!!!

lisa

U dont deserve that...you need to protect u and the baby...he could end up hurting you or the baby badly and then what...he needs help..get rid of him...

Marra's mommy

I think it's time for an intervention. You need to make him realize that his behavior while drinking is bad for your relationship, your health, his health and the health of your child. He may not remember what he's done, but it doesn't erase the fact that he did what he did.

Time to get him some help. If he doesn't stop drinking this will go on and on for the rest of your lives together. Do you really want an alcoholic husband? Talk to him about his drinking and the way that he is when he's drunk. Explain that you fear he may hurt you or your baby. And if he says he'd never hurt you, don't believe it. The longer this goes on the greater the chances are that he will really end up hurting you or your child, whether he remembers in the morning or not. It's time for you to consider what could really happen.

Maryn

I see two options.

One, he admits he has a problem and stops drinking, staying clean and sober for the rest of his life.

Two, you divorce him even though you don't want to.

Oh, and three, you stay, nothing changes, and you throw your possible happiness, and your child's, right down the toilet voluntarily.

Rock Candy

Minus the children, I was in your situation for 5 years. I made sure I didn't have children with my ex husband for the reasons you outline above. Remember though, you are making the choice to stay in this relationship even with admitted abuse. Your children are relying on YOU to make that choice for them. Please don't wait until he hurts you or one of the kids sober to make the choice to leave. He is sick and needs help, you can stand by his side while he gets help, but stop being his punching bag both mentally and physically.

Englanda

It's simple.

If you stay with this man, your life will not change. This type of behavior will continue and probably get worse. Plus your infant is in danger also.

Leave this man. You don't deserve to be treated in such a way and your infant doesn't deserve to be in such danger.

What are you waiting for? For this guy to beat up your child?

golfer7

Immediate Rehab for him or immediate divorce. If you make any other choice you will deeply regret it-that is 100% certain.

Check this website NOW!!!!

y/a

you're safer and healthier if you divorce him..... people don't change. my dad abused my mom whenever he got drunk and drinks whenever he wanted to abuse her. i grew up seeing it, and i still resent him for that. it's not healthy for you neither for your child/children.

it made me promised to never associate with a man who drinks (frequently) and who has bad temper.

â™¥

gt a divorce i kno it wil b hard bt u can get counsaling u should really consider getting a divorce wat z ur baby going to do whn he/she gets older seeing mommy gt hurt if u have a son he has a 78% chance of bcoming lik him and if u hav a daughter than she has a 78% chance of marring som1 lik tht ples consider my answer k

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: