My husband is being selfish and competitive?
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My husband is being selfish and competitive?
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We both met at the fire academy, I was recruited by one fire department, he was hired by another. So we went out, got married, and continue our fire career. I then had to quit, because of an injury I acquired back then, but I'm completely fine now. His sarge and I are pretty close friends actually, so he told me the dept. is actually in need of some firefighters/paramedics, and that he would love for me to apply. Hubby, however, doesn't like that idea one bit. He keeps bringing up the medals I've received in the past, my past injuries and that I'm only applying to keep an eye out for him, and that the boys will hit on me and such. First of all, I need to get back to my fire career, especially with the economy as bad as it is, and I have a probable job opening, I'd better jump at it. I have no intention on keeping an eye on my husband, but I wouldn't mind working side by side with my hubby. But he gave me an ultimatum, if I apply, he leaves. What the he...? I personally think he's jealous or some type of ego thing...I really want to do this, but then...I don't know...any ideas?? Yeah, we did get competitive in the past, I made more money than him, and he would get bothered by it....yeah...we're you're crazy, married couple haha.
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K D
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I highly doubt this is as much about competition as it is about you invading his space. He enjoys his time away from you and with the guys. He also has freedom to flirt and be a guy if he wants to. Now his wife will be working in the same station. The comment about only applying to "keep an eye on him" sounds slightly like a guilty conscience. Having worked with my husband it does have it's awkward moments. Although I understand some of his feelings it is incredibly selfish to think that he would actually leave or deny you an opportunity to work because of this. |
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Janet W
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To be honest with you I don't blame your husband for not wanting to work with you. Not that I have anything against you, but it's hard to work with your spouse. Work is kind of a time to be yourself and not have to please your spouse, etc. It's getting away time and everyone needs that. It has nothing to do with lack of love. You should respect him and the fact that it is his job. |
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Say it Like it Is :)
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Sounds like he is a bit jealous. Damn the both of you are firefighters.....you must be one attractive couple :) |
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JUJUBABE
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He is not being selfish, he is being protective of you. He knows the ugliness that sometimes happens in primarily male jobs and wants to spare you from that. You can find another way to make ends meet. Also, it's difficult to work together all day, then go home and be together again. Everyone needs some time away from the one they love. |
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Diane M
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The ultimatum word should never be used in marriage. If he would leave you because of doing something that you want to do and that would help the both of you, he's just being selfish. Let him know that there is no more competitiveness between the two of you and it's what you want to do. Don't let him keep you from anything because eventually there will be resentment on your part. If he truly loves you, he may not like this situation, but he wouldn't leave you. |
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Timothy
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Hey, if I were your husband, I wouldn't want you to work with me. Not because he think you can't handle the job well or anything, but he's feeling protective of you. Maybe the guys are as bad as he claims, maybe he wants his space to be a guy, and not having his wife breathe down his neck, and it would be awkward, trust me...whatever you guy will do, everyone will have their eyes on you, and maybe it's a bit of competing with you, maybe he likes being a bread winner, to take care of you, but now you're working again, with him...so apply somewhere else. |
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