My husband is threatening me with...?

James W

Nena: I got a couple of questions for you:

1-Does he harm himself physically?
2-Does he have mood swings?

Nena: One more question: Could you briefly tell me about his parents. Were they divorced, dead, abandoned him? Please let me know....

Nena: I cant type a lot coz am at work now....What you told me so far sounds like a BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) Not Bipolar or anything else. He might have depression too. I want you to understand that this is a VERY SERIOUS DISORDER, and you need to be aware of it. I dated a girl who had this disorder before, and it ended up really really really bad. I am not an expert in this matter, but they all share the same characteristics (Self harm, mood swings, emptiness, fear of abandonment, acting like a little kid...etc) I would seriously encourage you to check out this link, and read about the symptoms: www.bpdfamily.com. Please dont ignore this advise and look at this subject. Hope the very best for you. You'll be amazed by the things you read.

killinshel

18 is very young, I agree, And you have tried to get him help. The thing is people who do not want help, don't accept it. I would for sure call someone to help YOU! And if that means his parents then so be it. I would also call the police every time he says he will kill himself. They will take him to the hospital by FORCE. So call 911 Right now!

jude

if he is a danger to himself u could have him placed somewhere for his safety and yours. he may have a chemical imbalance and need to go on medication. he needs help and i would involve his parents because they may be able to convince him to get help.

Backhoe

Tell his parents and get friends and family to help u .
It mite be best for U to leave , if he has threatened u.
Good Luck

missmojo78

If you can get him to a treatment facility he will be involuntarily committed if he is threatening suicide. They have to hold him for 24 hours and put him through a psych. eval. If there is any way possible you can do this, I would immediately. You can also call your local suicide prevention hot line and they will tell you about the resources in your community.

Robinoshawa

He is seriously mentally ill. Check with local police. In many areas suicide is a criminal offense. This gives police the right to arrest people and force them into treatment.
Stay by him as long as you can in spite of what he's saying or doing right now. Once he starts getting proper treatment, he may come back to the person he was.
That said, once you have done all you can to help, you have to protect your own well being. Don't feel guilty about what he does to himself. As long as you can look in the mirror and honestly say you did everything you could think of to help, then whatever happens is NOT your fault.
Good luck!

happywjc

You need to get his parents involved "quickly", As a parent of adult
children, I sure want to know, and help in any way possible!
Don't stay in an abusive relationship, it will only damage you!

TraceyDonatello

call 911 if u tell them hes suicidal they will admit him

Shannon

I'm sorry to be so insensitive, but you have to take like 1,000,000 Tylenol to die from them unless you have a bad liver.
Was it 17 bottles?
Taking too much just makes you feel 'invulnerable' for a short period of time then you crash and sleep and get dehydrated.

But yes, he needs help. This is a cry for attention (mental illness/episode) or a neurological chemical imbalance that requires medication (uncurable, lifetime treatment need, comparable to diabetes)

You can take him into a mental institution if he is threatening suicide. They will take him in and keep him in isolated protection for 1-2 weeks while they work on medication to help him.
Do you have medical insurance? Most will pay some portion of the cost if you take him to one of the approved sites.
I think you should do it.

Also, you say /mood swings/. That makes me think bipolar. Be CERTAIN to mention this as bipolar people become the most unstable when the are /dysphoric/ not depressed and giving him anti-depressants will make it *much worst* in this case.
He absolutely needs professional help and mood stabilizers take time to start working (week or two).

Again, bipolar is a brain chemical imbalance - comparing it to diabetes usually helps people get in the right frame of mind to understand it as a real illness. It is not a 'behavior' problem; he may be physically, chemically, ill.

That said, once you know you are bipolar you have to make behavioral changes in your life to better cope with it. Likewise with diabetes, e.g. you cannot just eat whatever you want and /must/ be disciplined with your medication.
Because of the mood and mental effects (paranoia) of his condition combined with the stigmatizism it will be harder for him to build this discipline than a diabetic. He *must* learn to medicate himself, you should not be involved in this other than perhaps reminding him and following up to ensure he stays on it.
Another common mistake bipolar people make is that take the drugs, they start to feel much better then think they do not need the drugs anymore; then they cycle on & off them from almost having a life to destroying it over & over again.

njoyabl

One of my boyfriend's best friends' was like this. He started to act real strange and kept talking about dying because he was stressed because he had gotten fired and couldn't find another job. They all thought that he wasn't serious until he made two attempts with his car, both by running into a tree. Eventually, he started to go off on his friends and family, and then he had completely lost it. My boyfriend told his mother that he needed help and everyone was like, he was okay. Now, finally he is on meds, and he is more normal than I have ever seen him, it's crazy for me. He was told that he had a chemical inbalance. Now everything is okay.

When a person tells you this, it is a cry for help. I know of one young boy (17 years old) who had everything good going for him and was supposed to graduate this year, then go to the military. He was denied by the military. He was a straight A student and always very clean. He never told anyone he wanted to kill himself. He smothered the sound of the gun under his pillow before dinner time. His father found him with a bullet in his head.

He didn't tell anyone, but there were warning signs, like, he never ordered his cap and gown for graduation. He had clean out his locker completely, but he was adamant to go, so he didn't tell anyone, and just did it.

Your boyfriend wants help, whether it is attention or not, you need to tell his parents, no matter what he says. I know this is stressful for you, but tell his parents, because if something happens and you didn't tell them, you won't forgive yourself for not letting them know, no matter how many *****es he calls you.

Alissa

I'd tell his parents, you need all the help you can get.

isabela

tell your parents
ask them for help
talk to him

Tell his parents, you shouldn't have to deal with it alone and if he does do it they will want to know why you didn't tell them.

The Lauren

How sick was he after taking that many Tylenol? If he didn't get sick, he lied to you. Harsh truth, if he wanted to kill himself, he would've. This is a control tactic. I have been with 2 psychos that have threatened this. Guess what? They're both still among the living. It is a control tactic. However, if you are really that worried, contact his parents. They can get him the help he needs. In the meantime, you need to distance yourself from him. I know you want to help him, fix him, make him whole or whatever. You will not do it. It doesn't make sense, but you're being an enabler. By staying around you're telling him that his behavior is ok with you and that you'll be there no matter what. Usually that's a good thing. Not in this case. Tell his parents and stay away from him.

Dunno

He's a drama queen. Maybe he needs some time alone to figure out his issues.

Candy

Your husband really needs help and he needs it a.s.a.p., You need to talk to his parents. They need to know what is going on with his son. Your husband has threatened to kill himself many times but if he really wanted to die then he would be dead by now. And the next time he threatens to kill himself then you need to call the police. The police need to know that your husband is a danger to himself. The police can take him to the hospital so he can be evaluated. Your husband is a very sick man. There is definitely something going on with him. So far whatever you tried to do to help him is not working. So you need a professional that knows how to deal with whatever your husband is going through. A lot of people have been telling you that your husband needs to see a psychiatrist. And you need to trust those people because they know that the only way out for your husband is for him to see a psychiatrist so he can get the treatment that he needs.

You say you are trapped but you are not trapped. You can tell your husband that he has no other choice but to get help. You need to make it clear that you are the end of your rope. You also need to make it clear that if he doesn't get help then you are going to have to leave him. I think as long as you stand by him while he manipulates you and gets attention from you then he's not going to want to get help for himself. If your husband thinks that you are going to leave him then this is going to freak him out and that may change his mind about getting help. You said you tried to help your husband but there is nothing you can do until he wants to help himself.

You are getting a lot of support from some members of YA by telling you that your husband needs to see a psychiatrist. And you know your husband needs to see a psychiatrist. So you cannot take no from him if he tells you that heâ€™s not going to see one. Get his family to stand by you. If you need to have an intervention then have one. You have to make sure that your husband is safe. And you need to take good care of you while all of this is going on. You need to make sure that you donâ€™t make yourself sick over this. There is only so much you can do. You could easily have a burnt out if you are not careful A body can only take so much. You did all that you could to help your husband and nothing has changed. So now itâ€™s time for you to let someone else take care of him.

Pet

Get rid of him. Stop living underneath him. I had a boyfriend like this when I was a little younger than you and I regret every second I wasted catering to his selfishness. It's not up to you to save him, especially at 18 years old. Let him go and let him deal with his own problems. If he really wanted to kill himself, he would do it and not tell anyone. That's the truth. He's looking for attention. Again: GET RID OF HIM.

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