My husband recently retired and stated he worked 37 years and he doesnt have to help around the house.?

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I'd tell him that he's retired from his job, NOT your marriage/partnership! Marriage is a partnership and you are supposed to help one another - not keep "score".

Nani

I'd be really upset, its not fair, you are not a slave.

Ellyn

You have two choices:
Accept it. Don't do any more chores.
Ignore it, and don't any more chores.
Take care of your son and father, let your husband fend for himself. I wouldn't lift a finger for a man like that.

Just let his laundry go for a little while, and make him some tv dinners, and see if that gets him to start helping. Tell him that's all you've had time for lately.

powrbruh

Until he is ready to help around the house, you should just concentrate on your father and your son. Unless you are afraid of him, I would cease all cooking, cleaning, etc. until he realizes that you are not his cook nor maid.

Some folks don't realize what is going on until is smashed directly in their faces. Tell him that you have too much responsibility and that you will cease all action until he is ready to help.

Jules

Yes, get rid of him! He's dead weight now!

nurse ratchet

Sure you do, you know you do. When do YOU get to retire?

Morley

Ya you have cause to be upset! The idea that he worked outside the house for 37 years and so doesn't need to work inside the house now is ridiculous.

You could do a few things to try and wake him up...
Don't clean up after him..don't do his laundry and don't cook for him. If you can stand it. The hope is eventually he will get the point and pick up a mop.

Figure out what the going rate is for a housekeeper and private nurse and bill him for your work. Tell him you aren't kidding and see if he gets the point.

If these silly things don't work I think you may have a more serious problem and may need to go for some counselling. I am hoping he isn't been so unsupportive on purpose but because he doesn't know any better.

Best of luck to you!

Arnold M

Your husband is an as#ho*e. Doesn't he realize that while he was working at the office, you were working keeping the home together? Stop cooking for him and doing his laundry and maybe he'll get the message that these things take effort.

I luv my kids

Welcome to my world ! My husband is the same way. He goes to work, and so do I, but when he comes home, whenever that may be, he is done for the day, and my day just begins. I have no idea what to do about it. Other things come first I guess. He does nothing around the house. But he will do everything for his mother or her house. I wish I could help, but if you find the answer, please let me know.

the_hedda_lettuce

Gee......... do you have to wear a Burka, get his sole permission to leave the house, then if your ankles or forearms are reveled he gets to flog you in public?

Tell him since you're caring for your father, the house is his to maintain. If he has a problem with it, then he can sleep out in the garage.

Don't put up with his crap! Get in his face and jump his butt everyday. Make him so damn miserable he'll want to go back to work.

quinlangal

Yes, you have cause to upset. It seems like you have so much on your plate at the moment and what you need is for your husband to be caring, especially right now. Hang in there, I know it is tough right now, but it will get better. Most people after they retire, get bored and look for something to do. Hopefully he will decide to do something around the house or maybe he will look for a part time job that will get him out of your hair and things will get back to semi normal. Do you have other family (sister, brother) who you could ask for help with your father and son? If not, look at your local church, they will be willing to help out.
Good Luck to you.
Quin

Dr. Deth

don't do anything for him. let him cook his own meals and wash his own clothes,etc. that will teach him - maybe. or divorce him and make him go back out and get a job to support himself and you

lilchikka2005

YES you do! Tell him he better help out, otherwise if I were you, i wouldn't cook for him, or do HIS laundry, or anything for him, until he finally realizes that he needs to do some stuff for himself for a change.

uncle_buck71

Tell him to get off his a** and help you or he is going to be old and alone because if he can't help you, you don't need the extra dead weight tell him to grow up and start acting like a man

Richard F

Yes you have a right to be upset. Holy Cow.

Stop taking care of him and his stuff and see if he gets the message. When he asks why you aren't washing HIS clothes, tell him you're too busy. Cook for yourself and tell him to fix his own cuz you're too busy.

cooter726

Hire a old german MAID.lol

Travis

yeah

mtchndjnmtch

Yes you do. Your son can be helped with meds, but it will take a little more with the husband. It sounds like He has a problem as well, not just the drinking. You may want to have a heart to heart talk with him before you let the hammer down. The main thing here is your well being. Someone has take care of the less fortunate.Good luck!

Vitiran

You can always be upset. It doesn't matter if it's justified.

However, that doesn't mean you get to yell at him to move his lazy butt.

Find a solution to your problem that doesn't involve him. For example, hire people to take care of all of the things that you've mentioned.

If he has a problem with the money going out for all of that, then you can yell at him to move his lazy butt.

paulapeta245424

Yes! A marriage is about equal responsibility and helping. Just because he worked for 37 years does not give him the right to be a couch potatoe and not do anything.

Sherri M

Say your retirement hits at same time as his. The house hold chores are 50/50%. Do the laundry so he does not screw it up. Unless you want a divorce, shrink his clothes. Make dinner for 1, to prove your point. Tell him to divorce you.

yeoldebroad

He may have retired from his job but he hasn't retired from life. What does he expect, to sit on his rear or play until death takes him while you handle everything? Ridiculous!!! The next time he makes that statement, I'd say fine, I'm retiring too. Whether you've had a job outside of the home or not, you've been working too.

The One, The Only Krandazzo!

tell him to get off his lazy *** and do something or he can cook his own food and find a new wife!

Rachel

Yes...you have cause to be upset! Just because he worked for 37 years doesn't mean he should just do nothing with his life now. Could it be that he is depressed...retirement is a big change and maybe he retreats to his room and drinks to avoid facing what he is feeling. If he would be open to it, I would try to talk to him about his feelings on retirement; maybe he is upset that he doesn't see his friends/coworkers anymore, or feels like he doesn't have a purpose in life anymore. Maybe getting a hobby that you can do together would help. Good luck!

avidlyalive

A. Lock the computer.
B. Let that grass grow.
C. Tell him you have retired from doing at least one half of the housework.

Pam

Tell him no problem - then pick one of your jobs to retire from. And do it - completely. Sounds like you're stuck taking care of your dad and your son - so quit the household job. Wash your own clothes, not his - cook for yourself, not him - clean up after yourself, not him. Pick a room for yourself and keep that one tidy - let the rest go. Either he'll get the message or you'll have to take more desperate measures - like separate households.

â™¥Martini Shakeâ™¥

Yes you have the right to be upset. It takes two to get married and it also takes two to run a household. He needs to get over himself, be a man and help you! xoxo

à®œMingMingà®œ

Then take care of everything BUT him.

He can do it all by himself... He doesnt need your help.
Or thats basically what he's saying.

If he doesnt want to help you, dont help him.

Let him do his own laundry, cook his own meals, run his own errands, mow his own yard.

There are people who CANT take care of themselves. But HE sure aint one of them.

And HELL YEAH YOU HAVE EVERY REASON IN THE WORLD TO BE UPSET!!

If he wants something done, tell him..Im too busy taking care of everything else, you can take care of YOURSELF!!

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