My husband told me his ex wife is in town?

Genie C

if they don't have any kids together then they don't need to see each other or even talk for that matter! tell him that you do not approve of the whole messy situation, and tell him that you do not appreciate him dismissing your feelings! im sorry to say this but it sounds like he still has feelings for her. i would ask him and if that is the case you will have a lot of thinking to do about your marriage. (im sure you do already).
also in one of your above answers someone suggested that maybe you should tag along, and i think that if he insists that he goes to see her then you should get to go to! if it is innocent then he shouldn't mind! but if he had any decency or respect he would not go or talk to her at all! good luck to you dear, i hope it all works out for you guys. if it don't, just remember that there is plenty of GOOD men out there who would never, ever, do that to his wife!

madcityd0623

say you want to go with him. If he does not want you to go, tell him that you dont want him to go either..

Katie

Yikes! Just be honest with him. I know I wouldn't want my husband going to see his ex-wife! (If he had one...) It would make me very upset, and I think it is a bit innapropriate. Just be honest, and tell him that you trust him, but you don't want him seeing her. If he respected you, he wouldn't go.

Puffy

there's no such thing as "good exes". Don't put up with that crap.

Jill

Tell him you are going with him , as his wife you have a right to be there

sara explains it all

Just like you are telling us, tell him. If you don't let him know it bothers you then he will never know. If he goes to see her and he knows you don't think it's right, then you have another problem. Just be honest with him. Unless they have kids from their marriage or something, i don't see a reason why he should meet up with her...

megansm1975

Just tell him exactly like you said. He is your husband now, if they don't have any children, there is no reason for them to communicate at all. She is the past and that's where it needs to stay. I think there is more to it than he is letting you know. Good luck!

Answer Fairy

Tell him. Say exactly what you wrote on here. You deserve an explanation.

lilsnob8681

wow. that is crazy. if they are just friends then you can go and you all can be friends. but if it were me I would definitely be opposed to it. I would be furious and question him as to why he is going to see her if he hates her so much. He is in the wrong here.

*Cher*

He shouldn't talk to her out of the respect for you. He has nothing to talk about with her anyways. I would demand to go with him when he goes to talk to her, that's BS. If he knows how much it hurts you he shouldn't go.
That's my thoughts on this situation.

Mrs. Robinson

well he told you number one, so i think you mind screw yourself a little bit w/ the jelousy.

if theres no kids involved, a meeting really should not be necessary at all. on your side, i would ask him to be honest about why he needs to even go. then you should go w/ him so she understands the past is the past

I love cooking!

I would go MYSELF and see what this "meeting" is about.

Heatherrrrrrrr

She is a part of his past. They were married. Not like they just dated for a year. They understood that they were not meant to be. Some people are better friends than lovers. Don't worry about it at all. He loves you and is married to you. It shouldn't hurt you at all. He is open with you and told you she is in town. Let it go. The more you try to hang on the more it hurts.

Leslie W

Yes I wouldn't like this either but if they have kids together then it's perfectly normal for them to see and talk to each other but if not, I would be worried!!!

opiongirl23

He needs to tell you what their going to talk about....and you need to stop acting like your strong and ok with his ex situation. Just tell him how you feel, and explain to him that you want to keep him at bay, and that he shouldn't be allowing her to invite herself into his life for any reason, talks, etc. Unless they have kids together, then its more understandable why they would need to talk, or if there are legal things they still need to sort out. Otherwise she has no right to even communicate with him

gypsyveg

You need to tell him that his behavior is unacceptable to you - talking to her, meeting with her and leaving you out. All of it. How would he like it if you were talking to your ex (husband or just a boyfriend) and going off to meet him?

Jordan M

Would it have been better if he did not tell you he was going to see her? Why can't they be friends? Just because their relationship failed does not mean they have to be enemies. Drop the insecurities....Ex wives come with the territory in being a second wife.

syb

Does your husband and her have kids together?? If so perhaps they are meeting about that. But for no reason what so ever (in my view) would he be going alone. It is your business now too. YOU are married to him NOT her. My husbands ex tried this crap and got away with it one time because I was afraid to speak up. When he arrived home I did however speak up, and now I go with him whenever she "needs" to talk or go over something with the kids. After all I am the step mother and frankly I do ore then either of them with their kids.
If they don't have kids, there is no reason to meet. (at least that I can think of) so tell him it hurts you bad, tell him your exact feelings and express you want to go.
It has nothing to do with trust as someone else said. It is called respect.
(Ask him if he would like you to meet an ex of yours w/out him) He will probably say he doesn't care BUT trust me he does.

Good Luck!

Doctor.Ashley.Proctoligist

he told you
because he is banging her
really good too

hunger

The most important issue in your marriage is trust. It might be possible he is trying to put closure on that dead issue. I believe that if you truly trust your spouse you should be able to trust him to meet with her. If you do not trust him, why did you marry him then? Must have trust to survive

à®Ginà®

First of all, he should have told you he still talks to her. He should know this from his previous marriage, that you shouldn't keep things from your spouse. Secondly, why didn't he invite you to come along? I think that if my husband had an ex wife and she wanted to meet up with him, he would invite me to come along because it's inappropriate to meet up with another woman. And that's all she is now, is another woman. If I were you, I would invite myself to come along. Don't even ask, just assume you were going. If he asks why you are getting ready, just tell him well I am coming with you....why is that not ok? He should be fine with it and frankly that should have been a given--you coming along. I don't see a problem with them being friends as long as you are included. Just because they were previously involved doesn't mean they should be alone together. Don't pretend to be ok with it if you aren't. Put your foot down and don't let him treat you like you are second. You are his priority now not her. I am sorry that he is being insensitive to your feelings about her. He should already know that this isn't a good idea by the way you talk about how you feel about her in general. Hope this helps hun.

littlegypsy

Andy? Are you male? I'm not sure, but whatever (BTW that wasn't an insult) as I know someone in the same situation).
His ex is an ex for a reason, you really should lay down the law, put your foot down, if it makes you uncomfortable, he should also know this and if he goes ahead, he's putting someone else before you.... remember he took a vow! If he's a cool guy and you trust him and are secure in the relationship, sure.. but you're obviously not, so if he does go and dismisses your feelings, the rest of your years with him won't get any better - get out before there are kids involved! Good luck..

thatartistwin

"He is going to go see her"? Did he ask you if you were OK with this or tell you what in the world they could possibly have to talk about given that he has such disregard for her? You would have to be out of your mind to accept this sort of behavior from your husband. He clearly has no regard for your feelings. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and it was you that were going to go "talk" alone with an ex? It would be different if they were casual friends but they seem to be enemies and there seems to be no reason to meet. Furthermore, the ex should respect your place in his life now and not request such a meeting. PUT A STOP TO IT UNLESS YOU ARE INVITED AS WELL. (and quite frankly, I see no reason for a meeting at all.....it will only lead to more and more contact and something you will regret)

simple

He needs to respect you in this respect. He has NO reason to have to go meet with her to 'talk'. 'They' were the past. It's nothing personal, it's just that it's inappropriate for him to be going out with his ex if he is in a relationship.

Yes, absolutely you should talk to him about it! COMMUNICATION is the most most most important thing in a relationship...that seems to be a problem here already.

IF he really is stuck on going to see her, then you should be able to go, too. I could understand him wanting to talk to her without you there, but not in person and not alone. He can 'talk' on the phone. If he has nothing to hide, then you should be able to be there.

brwneyedgrl

Ok, 1. just because he knows that she is in town doesnt necessarily mean he's been in contact with her all along.. he could of seen her out and about, mutual friends could of tipped him off, etc.. so dont jump to conclusions unless u know for a fact.

2. He has no real reason to see her their are no kids, etc.. if they are friends, why isnt he taking u along with him..

IF u want to know the truth of his feelings for her.. tell him that u want to go with when he meets up with her, if they are just friends nothing else he wont have a problem with u going along, if its something more, if he has feelings for her still or anything weird is going on he will get extremely defensive and refuse to take u with him.

2Westies

There's no reason whatsoever for him to see his ex wife since they don't have children together. If there is a reason, you go along with him to meet her. Good Luck.

jessica

He is your husband - you have the express your concerns to him and for him to be honest with you. If he is feeling emotions than YOU need to be the one to help sort them out with him. If you don't who knows what will happen.

jenniferraecmu

I would tell him how it makes you feel. I would also ask to go with him when he has lunch. If he dosent want you to go I would question what is going on.

blueeyes1981

If there is no kids invovled he has no reason to see her. I would go with him. Say I would like to meet her too. See if that gets you any where. also sounds like you don't trust him that what I think!!

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