My husband wants a divorce and I dont?

olderbutwiser

As hard as this is going to be to do, my advice is to try not to obsess over this whole divorce thing in the coming days. Go on living, loving, and doing everything you can to make life, and your time together, pleasant. You don't have to cater to his every whim, just be yourself. The more you obsess over it, the worse it's going to become. Good Luck!

caballero5792

pray and try marriage counseling

good luck

Ask him what would change his mind, to make him stay. In other words, what could you do that would make him change his mind. If it is something that you can change, then consider that. But if he's vague and doesn't work with you, what can you do? Pray to Jesus for help.

jpistorius380@sbcglobal.net

You might try a separation and marriage consoling. If that doesn't work you may have to get a divorce, sometimes love just isn't enough.

j b

Both of you should go to marital counseling before anything's decided. What are his grounds for wanting a divorce? I'll say a prayer for you!! God Bless!

always wonderin

I would say that your husband is already playing the field. Thats bad to say but if has givin up already, there prolly is something else going on... LOok into that one.

yoohoo

Well, this is really a tough situation and you aren't going to find an easy answer. The good news is you're trying. That's all you can do. Compromise whatever you are willing to, but understand that you cannot completely change the person you are, and you shouldn't have to. If he doesn't want to work it out, there is nothing else you can do. A marriage does take commitment from both people. Realize that if you do get divorced you are going to have to accept that he just wasn't as invested in the marriage as you were.

Also, be careful about how much you share with your daughter. Yes, she should know about big changes, especially those that affect her, but as long as he is still working on the marriage there is no reason to upset her. Of course you cannot go back in time and untell her, but please don't burden her with your troubles.

Esjae

It is not too late for change. you should go to marriage counseling if you both want to work on repairing the relationship.

kitty

FIND OUT W/ THE PROBLEM IS GET SOME COUNSELING THAT'S IF HE WILL GO SORRY TO HER THIS ......................JUST HANG TIGHT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS..........

Legandivori

After a divorce, one can began to understand it's
we have to build our own world, plan our own lives, and learn not to
depend on anyone else except God. Most of all, we realize that we can survive
if we are strong. Then, anything that comes along to make us
happy is just icing on the cake.

"After a While"

"After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company isn't security.
(Kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.)

After awhile you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain
and the inevitable has a way of crumbling in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you stand too long in one place.

So, you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.
And you learn you really can endure,
that you really do have worth.
You learn that with every good-bye comes the dawn."

Author Unknown

--------------------------------
teach your daughter what it means to be while and complete woman by moving on. It takes two to tango. However, get into therapy, to gain insight and strength to know you will be happier after the split, if that is what heppens.

miss mazie

You can not make up his mind for him ; but if he loves you he should at least agree to counseling . Try a divorce counselor if he's agreeable . If not - get yourself a lawyer and protect your child and self . ASAP . Good luck . There is life after divorce .

shadez b

Maybe you should seek professional help and see a counselor to get to the root of why he doesn't try anymore. If it can't be worked out then, separate. Its much worse on you and your daughter if he stays and there is animosity in the house and things are strained between you two. It makes it bad too, because he may resent you and feel obligated to stay because of the child. Make a mutual decision and stick to it.

Becky

my opinion, but i believe you should NEVER stay in a marriage that someone else doesn't want. if he doesn't want to be married to you anymore then that means he doesn't love you the way you love him. i have a friend who is going through the same thing. a marriage should be about 2 people that are so deeply in love that they could never see themselves apart. do yourself a favor and don't prolong the pain anymore. you can do better. most women stay in these marriages because they think they can't. but you can. could he be cheating?

littlemisssaigon

Honey if he wants a divorce then he doiesnt love you anymore, let him go you cant make him stay...it will be painful but your tears will soon dry up would you rather him stay out of obligation and becuas ehe feels sorry for you! Think about it...life will go on.

oe542

PRAY! IT'S TRULY IS THE ONLY ANSWER! If you both know the Lord you will survie this along with anything else life throws your way and you will be better for it.

SicilianMomma

He's telling you he will stay and see what happens? WHAT A SPORT! Give me a break your daughter seems not to care, your husband seems not to care so pack your bags and go. He obviously doesn't want to work on it he just wants to freeload. Good Luck find someone who loves you and your daughter.

kmp1994wildcat

just work as hard as you can to keep it going but in the end if he is just not seeing it then id get a divorce but try to stay friends!!1 hope this helps!!! =D

sugarBear

The point is HE HAS NOT LEFT YOU (yet). You just said that he will stay with you & see how things go. That already means he's not divorcing you (not right now anyway). We all don't know what the outcome would be later on, I guess it should depend on how things go between the both of you (like he said). So, what are you so paranoid about? HE IS STILL WITH YOU! Why don't you relax, be yourself, be good & go with the flow. You should be happy that he has NOT divorced you now. Don't push it with this behavior. RELAX!

eDniTa

no honey he doesnt love you, u are the one that is confused

he is still arround because he doesnt want to hurt you because he cares for you but, if he is thinking that much about divocer, it really might be the answer. Do you want to be with someone that is confused about the feelings he has 4 u? i dont think so, so , help him and help you on the way, maybe if you let him go he will feel the need to stay, but if you are all over him all the time he will try to be apart and well not answering to your kisses and hugs...

PAK

Find out if there is another woman in the picture.

Lw's Lady

Sounds like me,only difference I am the one that wants out.You didn't say how long you've been married but that really doesn't matter when one of you wants a divorce it just makes the other one try to do everything right and it's frustrating.....no matter what they do it's not what they really want.People change,outgrow each other.The bottom line they love,but not in love>I know you are heartbroken but you've given all you can give and he'll just find something else because if he wants out let him go.I know how it feels an my husband is a good guy but he is controling,treats me like a child,I'm questioned about everything I do where I go etc. I'm tired of it.,an I've put up with it for 43 yrs.I should have done something yrs. ago.I am very unhappy and so is he.Don't live your life just for him.Be happy if you can.Good luck

Andrew F

Ask him what sort of person he wants to be with for the rest of his life. Let him tell you everything, whether it's detailed or not. Tell him that you want to be that person, that you want to keep your identity but that you're willing to change and sacrifice for him because you love him. Make sure you know what it is that he's thinking about the possible divorce and why. Talk to him about whatever's making him doubtful.

Goodspeed

just be the best person you can be...if thats not good enough then you have done all you can...if he should ask anymore of you than you can offer tell him ..... time for him to move on.

cope_acetic

Sounds like the way my husband of 24 years was acting.....just before he finally got the gots to tell me he was "in love" with someone else.

Let him go....you sound miserable now, so it HAS to get better, right? It sure did for me.

lwomar

I would say try to find out what is wrong, but it looks like you already have. I hate to say, but if he wants a divorce, give it to him. I know its hard But if you try to make him stay in a marriage where he is not wanting to be, its gonna get worse. I also suggest looking into the fact that there maybe someone else in the picture. It sounds like he is giving up pretty easy and almost not wanting to work things out with you, which is a bad sign. Good luck

jessi

where to begin first of how dare you bring in a child into grown people business when it was not for sure second if he wants to leave then why would you want to stay with someone who clearly does not want to stay hello let him go and then maybe and only then can a really think clearly personally i would LET HIM GO he really does not want to stay he is getting ready to leave anyway if he is pulling back and you have to make the first moves think about hello he wants out do your self a favor say bye you will survive and so will you daughter and leave her out of your business

act_won

seek marriage counseling, but clearly he doesnt have the same feelings.

often when a man stops being affectionate he's cheating. maybe thats why he wants a divorce? he may have found someone else.

Colleen O

He has already made up his mind. He doesn't need your permission to file for divorce or to have you served with papers.

*Honest Blunt Opinioner*

if he wants a divorce give it to him let him, you can't force him to stay with you if he doesnt want to, plus you will be free to find someone else who will take marriage seriously

endo_chic

If he already has his mind made up, there is nothing you can do/say that is going to change it.

I don't understand why you would want to hold on when he has made it clear that he is not interested in continuing your marriage. Why not let him go, move on and leave with your pride intact??

It sounds to me like there is an underlying issue that has prompted your hubby's decision. Do you know what this might be? If not, perhaps you should talk to him and find out.

Would he be willing to seek couple's counseling??

I am really sorry that you are going through this, but the fact remains that if he is done with the marriage, nothing can save it.

KarmaComesToYou!

Why would you want to stay with someone that wants to divorce you? That will make him miserable - let him go, or else he'll likely have an affair and bring who knows what into your relationship. It sounds like he's backtracking because he's afraid of getting outside of his comfort zone. He probably doesn't really want to stay, but he's just afraid to leave his current surroundings. Do you really want to stay on pins and needles while this guy makes up his mind? Sorry, but I don't get women that stay with men like this.

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