My life is a complete disaster. What is possibly left for me?

retropink

First, make an appointment to speak with a counselor about your depression. You can't run away from depression & you need to get that under control.

Second, make an appointment with a credit counselor. They can help you get your debt under control & get the creditors off your back.

Third, look at your daughter & think about what her life would be like if she had a depressed mother & no father. You don't want that for her.

Get a grip and make some good decisions for your daughter. You can do this!

Karl

Live for your daughters sake. Time heals all.

paula_5150

you cant runaway from these types of problems they will just follow you, if you dont have a job, get one, if you do just do the best you can with what you have, be glad you have a spouse you love and a healthy child, many dont,count your blessings, things could always be worse

yaabro

I understand how you feel. I'm 45000 in debt and had a girl that I cared about leave me. So what do you do, you want to run away but you can't!

1. Face the facts, you got yourself in to this problems.
2. Life can get better, but you have to make it better.
3. If you really care about your daughter you will do whats best for her, which is keeping her with her father and paying back what you owe.
4. You need to figure out how you got into these problems and how to avoid them again.

Why not me

So what are you teaching your daughter? When times get ruff pack-up & run. Trust me if you don't slove those problems now when you're done running they'll still be there. You need to sit back collect your thoughts & you & your husband figue out away to get back above sea-level. Nothing is never as bad as it seems. Just trust & keep the faith. Everything will work out for you & your family......

searching_please

First of all, calm down. Lots of people have been through this (including me - twice). There's a special place in Hell that is reserved for bill collectors - they know how to make us feel horrible.

1. Consider Chapter 7 bankruptcy - things can't get much worse and if you file now, you can keep your house and car. Look in the phone book and find a bankruptcy firm. Call today.

2. Look around for a counseling center that will see you on a sliding scale (or maybe even for free for a while). Get into some sort of counselor soon! If you are religious, go to your church for counseling.

3. Your life is not ruined! Even if you do lose your house and your car, you've still got your daughter. You are her rock and you need to pull it together for her. Many people say they would DIE for their children, but how many will LIVE for them?! If you can't find anything worth living for, just go look in her eyes. She needs you.

4. I think you need to sit down and talk to your husband when your daughter isn't around. Find out why he wants to stay where you are and present your argument to him about why you want to leave. If you HAVE to leave, let him know that ending the marriage is on the table and he may have to choose between being with you and staying where you are now.

5. You can build your credit back up in time. Don't let people make you feel so bad. Also, don't let the voices in your head say bad things to you. You have not failed, the world has not come to an end and you will get through this. There is life on the other side of all crises!

Take a hot bath, take a walk, sit outside for a half an hour, write a letter to those who have wronged you and then burn it, take 10 deep breaths... Take time for YOU.

You have the whole world and your whole life in front of you!!! Hang in there and take baby steps to make things better!!!

Good luck! :)

DILY â™¥

Have faith and turn to God. Whatever you do just keep going and don't give up. When I read the first part of the message it scared me because you have a loving husband and a beautiful daughter, and yet you are still unhappy. Be thankful for what you have. Go to your family. They should be there to help you. Go to your church, they will welcome you with open arms. Look to your husband and daughter and ask them what they think.

1912 Hudson

Moving away isn't going to solve your money problems! Get your head out of the clouds, and stop wallowing in self pity. You've got a family to think of!! Go see a financial counselor IMMEDIATELY! They will be able to help you consolidate all your bills and make smaller payments. In the meantime - get another job if you have to - it sounds like you've got plenty of time to pout, you might as well be making some money while you do it! Be a positive role model for your kid, don't run away from your problems!

Faith .

Calm yourself, dear... You're experiencing anxiety here due to all that's been happening to you, but it can't be that bad if you still have your loving, supportive husband and child. Don't stress too much over what's going on, and just try your best in life and take a deep breath and relax. Let things take it's course and maintain yourself relaxed and think things out before acting impulsively. Your husband may have a point. Work things out and they will get better, you'll see... in time they will. Good luck.

tersey562

You need to pick yourself up off the floor, dust yourself off and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have more than some people, a wonderful supportive husband and a wonderful daughter. Now start getting your act together. Seek the advice of an attorney, file bankruptcy and start anew. Your financial situation is not the business of anyone but you and your husband, so don't even worry about that, but if you want to think about it over half of the households in America who you think are living high on the hog are doing so on huge credit debt and one day it too will catch up to them. So stop seeing the grass as greener somewhere else and go out and put some fertilizer on your own and then water it and mow it (figuratively). Be happy to have your husband and daughter. Get a job to help with the expenses while your daughter is in school - check with the school about school aides or bus aides. Any income is better than no income. Sell the house and pay off the mortgage and rent for awhile or downsize at the least. BUT DEFINITELY CONSULT WITH AN ATTORNEY ABOUT YOUR SITUATION - One knowledgeable in bankruptcy law. Good luck and God Bless you and your family.
P.S. Go put on a pot of water, make a cup of tea, grab a good book, run a hot bath with relaxing bath salts and get in it with your tea and book. When you get out you should stand there for a few minutes and let the water drip off you and picture those drops as being all your problems and concerns going down the drain. Step out, dry off, and smile at yourself in the mirror. Do this as often as you need to. Smile at yourself and thank God for what you have and for the opportunity to turn your life around while others don't even have the opportunity.

nuniestar

Oh wow, sounds like you are really stuck! Well ok, you want to move but the hubby wants to stay. Maybe there is just something missing in your life right now that makes you FEEL like running away would be the best thing. I know you are feeling down cuz of your debt and all that. But being you cant really pick up and leave right now, I think you need to sit down and figure out what is wrong in your life and think of ways to go about fixing it one step at a time. In your case, I think you should get your husband involved too.

For instance, maybe call a debt consolidation place. They are realy good at helping you get rid of some of your debt faster than you would alone. And maybe you losing your job is a good thing. It will give u a chance to find a new job that you never know...you might even enjoy more than your last job! Change of atmosphere is always a big help when it comes to jobs.

Sounds like you have a lot going on, you just need to pick up the pieces, one at a time.

mikegreenwich

you need credit counseling and possibly a personal bankruptcy filing to deal with your debts. If your family is healthy and you have a good marriage then you have much to be grateful for. running away to a new place won't help and will probably just add to your expenses. you can clean up your act financially, and you should do this as soon as possible.

KatiexxX

Dont run away from your problems..they will either get worse or you will never learn from the mistakes you have made. you love eachother and have a child together. your a family now and familys work together! as tough as things are it always works out in the end! easier said than done i know, but dont be negative all the time it will bring you down and wont get you anywhere!

Oula

You answered your own question... You have a husband that you love a lot and a daughter whom you love a lot... Trust me... that is a lot more than most have... Financially you are hurting, but seems like the whole world has financial difficulty... Try to get a positive attitude... by doing things to help your situation... don't run away from your problems... Maybe file for bankruptcy so that you can have a fresh financial start... think of options to better your situation instead of running away... good luck and keep your chin up!

Seph2

You will be fine. Give everything you owed and get one bedroom apartment. Take a bus and find a good paying job.Your daughter go to a free day care.Your husband should work hard and you will be OK. It's nice to live debt free in this world. Is not too late.

tanialea123

It sounds like you have a good start to deal with what lfe is going to throw at you.Lean on your husband,he is right not to run away.Take each day one at a time.Don't look too far ahead.When your feeling down,take a second to look at what you have got,not what you haven't got.When I get caught up in the hang-ups of life,I either think of Anne Frank,or the families of 911.When I think of them,I'm reminded that it could be so much worse. Take care.

Lottie W

So far, all I see is financial problems. It's just money. It is not your whole life.
I know exactly what you are talking about, tho. I remember at 26, feeling old, abused, broke, and fat. I had just had a baby that my DAD had to pay for, my husband was unemplyed and I was 130 lbs --OMG!
(We went to work for my dad, and soon we were on our way to making a living, and my son is now 32 years old.)
The answer is to stay-not quit and run off. That is what a coward does. A coward is not a good thing, because you don't LEARN anything from it, You hurt innocent people and just have a temporary fix. Kind of like being a drunk.
The answer is to dig into YOURSELF. You are way depressed and feeling hopeless.

You love your child and you love your husband. You are WAY ahead of the game right there.
The first thing I would do, is sit down and make a list of all the things in your life to be grateful for.
I am grateful for my daughter,
I am grateful for the love of my husband.
I am grateful I am sane enough to recognize my problems.
ETC
Go until you are exhausted.
Go to the doctor and get some anti-depressants. YOU can't afford NOT TO!! (you might have post-partum blues-still!!!)At least, exercise everyday-it will make you feel immediately better.(walking is great!)
Go ahead and lose your house and if you must, your car. You'll get more. Quit answering the phone. Don't look in the mirror.
Go to work ! Walk dogs for a living, make beds in a motel, be a waitress or mow lawns-stuff envelopes, or type--. ANYTHING to bring in money, and help.
Your husband is doing th right thing. He has a lot of courage, and he is trying to hold his family together. He needs your help, not for you to disintegrate while he is struggling.
You are not exactly wrong-you are just throwing away your whole life because your FINANCES are a mess-other stuff -the important parts--are working!!!!!!(the baby with the bath water-so to speak)
You don't think you would ruin your daughter's life if you ran off? I know a woman whose mother did that,and she STILL has abandonment problems, anxiety disorder and more. My mother DIED when I was 6 and I was a mess for many years. (cancer)
You will not get a fresh start anywhere, because you are taking your biggest problem WITH you. YOu can get healthy and productive right here with your family intact or you can move somewhere and be healthy and productive and leave SCARS....
Please get some help honey-it is SOSOOOOsimple to get help for depression. YOu will be amazed.
You have a 6 year old little girl to live for-to teach how to be a woman. How to be happy and healthy and loving. How to get through hard times together and be better/stronger/closer for it.
You can do this...e-mail me pls

Big Momma Carnivore

The world is awesome: ice cream, music, love, flowers and more. You need counseling and to get a job. Talk to someone and get help.

annamichele9

Declare bankruptcy and get a fresh financial start. After that maybe go to college and get a degree and find a good paying job and get the mentality that you can do anything. You have a little girl who depends on you and as long as you sit here believing your life is ruined then it will stay ruined.

Well first, obviously money is tight but you need to see a doctor about this depression.
And second, sure, moving far away and starting over with a clean slate may sound dreamy but here's the thing. You can sell everything you own, pack up the car, move to the opposite coast and leave everything behind....except....you. You'll still be you. You can't run away from that.
Staying and facing the music is the much braver thing to do here. But it sounds like you both could benefit from a course or some books about money management and credit.

grin and bear it, that's what the rest of us do

wish I were

You're broke, just where is it you think you are going to go that is any better? You can't run away from your problems, you have to face them. Do you want to teach your child to run away from problems? So you've made some bad choices, we all have! You can send $5 a month to your creditors and keep them off your back. Are you working? If not you need to get a job so you can take care of your debts. Sell the house if you own it so it doesn't get foreclosed on. You guys need to pull together as a team! Contact churches, sometimes they are willing to help out. You just have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and go on. Try to make better choices. Things won't always be so bad, you just have to hang on til you can make it better! Watch or read the book the secret and see if that helps also. Best of luck!

sweetladytease

Get theraphy, consolidate your bills and get one loan and pay the one loan company. Make Bankruptcy your last resort. take a break from your Husband but do allow him to see his daughter.

cutiepie81289

There is nothing wrong with wanting a new life, but how will your new life be better? work on getting out of debt first

kenaikitty

Wait til tomorrow and things will get better...they always do! When things cannot get any worse, sometimes they do...but eventually things will turn around...believe me! You need to answer the phone and deal with the creditors. No one is going to kill you because you owe them money! You have to sit down, figure out how much money you need to live on..then start chipping away at your debts...little by little it will get better. The creditors have no choice but to accept anything that you can pay. So what if you lose your house and car...you will get others later. You need to start somewhere...even if you just send each person 5.00 a month! Hope this helps...I've been there! Good luck!

Steven

Poor communication and financial issues are the downfall of more than half of all marriages. That said, it's not too late for you.
Caller ID is a wonderful invention that can let you choose when and who you talk to on the phone. Don't let any collector talk down to you or belittle your self worth. Both you and your husband need to see a credit counselor and maybe a lawyer if you want to keep the house.
There are many non profit organizations that can help. *
It is important for your daughter to have a positive male and female role models. If this can be done in a loving home with both parents, that is best. If not it's better to be in a loving home.
Been there and don't need any more of the T-shirts.
Best of luck to you all!

zajucomom

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Christy H

EVERYTHING! you don't have to give up on life because your credit score is 400. You have one of God 's true blessing your daughter.If she don't put a smile on your face and give you something to live for, then you need to see a DOCTOR for depression. Your 're 26 yrs young, your life is just started so what your road turn left a little just stay on it ,it will go right again. I promise! We woman are stonger then we think we are, you can and will handle this left turn in your life right now.Show your daughter what you are made of. A woman who will fight for herself and family.

Brittney l

Well for starters do you still love your husband? I'm sorry to tell you this but you can't just run away from your problems. The only thing is if you left the country but that's not going to be good for your daughter. For starters I know from experience your bills don't go away but you do have time before they try to take you to court. You gotta work hard. Maybe get two jobs ..have your husband get two jobs. Maybe move into something a lot cheaper or if you have family to move in with do that. Look for a roomate. You can place adds in Universities and in the paper. Ever thought about becoming a stripper? May not sound great but it is a way to make a lot of money right away. You don't have to wait two weeks for a pay check. You can also work when you want and how long you want. Just a suggestion. If things are so bad that you can't afford to take care of your daughter see if you can have a family member or friend take care of her while you get back on your feet. Sell your car fast. It's better to sell your car than to have them take it away. Find jobs that are within walking distance. You can also go on medicaid if youre not making ends meet. Food stamps are an option too. Also you gotta get out of that depression stage. You need to think about your daughter and your not being far to her. Just because your going through a rough time doesn't mean she needs to be experiencing it the same way you are. Your daughters at an age where she is learning everything from you so you need to be a good role model. I've been there before I didn't have anything. I became a dancer and at first was only making enough to get my bills straight. Once that happened I started to profit. I was completely uncomfortable at first, but it's different then what people think. I'm in complete control. If I don't like the way someone is treating me I can move on to someone else. I flash for three minutes and make twenty dollars every time. I've been doing it for two years and I now make over a hundred dollars an hour. I just bought a new Lexus. I have a nice apartment. I just planned a trip for my boyfriend and I to go to Puerto Rico. We went to Disney World last year. I'm back in school and studying to be a doctor. We're having a blast. I don't regret anything I do. I hope whatever you chose to do works out for the best. Hope this helped some.

zalian m

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear this but I strongly feel that you should not run away from problems. Face it with positive thinking and you'll get a positive results. Meet the people you owe money and tell them you need a little time to pay your debts. Get some little side income to do and pay them little by little and they'll respect you. Don't be afraid to face problems because life has got to go with problems too and it'll make us stronger and wiser.

Everyone make mistakes in life but how do we handle is another one big question. Pray for your success and do not get depressed and you'll be up there again!

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