My man has "touch" issues.?

After three years he is now telling me he does not like to be touched "a lot". WTF???!!!

I am the kind of person that likes to cuddle and hold hands, well I thought my man was the same way since he reciprocated, but after three years together he tells me he does not like to be constantly touched. I find this a little crazy considering he just now got the balls to tell me this BS. I am so confused. Why would you hold my hand and be "mushy" with me and then suddenly after such a long time tell me otherwise. I mean I do have some standards, I don't believe in making out or being inappropriate in public, and I don't constantly feel the need for his touch like some child, but I don't think it should be a problem holding hands or me leaning my head on his shoulder. He revealed this to me after being at some friends of ours' house, I was so hurt by this and am now afraid to touch him at all, it makes me so sad I cry when I am alone, but he thinks I should just get over it. I now find it hard to trust him on things, because if he faked it with the touch thing for three years then what else is he going to hit me with??

I almost feel like he is getting cold feet. Please help me.

thank you so much.

Memory

Could it be he has another woman in his life, or one he is interested in?
If he wasn't like this before there has to be a reason for his change. Tell him to be honest and tell you the whole truth.

Kathryn

There is actually a chemical in the brain that is there when we are in the first stages of a relationship. Scientists have found that this chemical lasts roughly 2-2 1/2 years. This is why most relationships end around the 2 year mark. People loose the "hard" love and think they are out of love when a lot of times it is just a matured love. It can take a few relationships to realize this feeling ends. He may be at the "comfortable" point where the chemical has gone and now needs more of the mental stimulation where as you cling onto the physical. He could also, however, be over the relationship. This is not a bad thing, it just always seems like it as first because change is hard. You may need a man who is more attentive to your needs and one who is ready to commit past the puppy dog stage. (I can pretty much guarantee he's probably under 26. )

Myth_Understood

This isn't a "honeymoon's over" kind of thing - I don't think. I think he tried to please you by being more touchy-feely than he usually is, but has come to the realization that he can't be like that forever.

If you take him at his word, then you have a decision to make, because talking about it (aaaaagain) will not change anything.

If you think he's getting cold feet, ok THAT should be sussed out and dealt with.

As much as I hate to say this, in either case it looks like the beginning of the end. I don't know if I could accept someone who pulled a switch like this ... and if he has cold feet, that's another deal breaking issue.

*big hug* Really sorry, hon :(

glamorousvivica

Relationships change some. Maybe at first, he was ok with it. But maybe his need to constantly be all over you have subsided and he's now finding it doesn't fit him like it use to. Not to mention, if he is getting older, it might seem juvenile to him to have you laying on him in front of his friends. Some people do not require as much public affection as others. You need to compromise. Maybe cuddle in private, but be respectful of each other in public.

Namrata S

try to understand him talk to him

Talk to him about it. Ask him what his definition of "too much" is and see if he can compensate. Also, I don't think he was acting/pretending that he wanted to touch you. It is probably just a phase he is going through. Best of luck!

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