My marriage is failing????????

kimmyisahotbabe

You have a young daughter. You should try to save your marriage. You should read Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Car and Feeding of Husbands".

http://www.drlaurashop.com/product.php?id=96

Good luck!!!!

pittisit43

DIVORCE AND START OVER WITH SOMEONE ELSE

~~NaYnAy~~HoNeYâ™¥

yeah i think u should file for divorce b4 things get out of hand. and its a good thing u can see what's really happening cuz some women would be like he will change when he aint.

sol u

i think is the best thing to do. because in the long run it will affect your daughter and future children by growing up in a family with that type of violence. You are young and if he is accusing you of ruining your life then go your own seperate ways and that whould show him what you really mean to him, and if he is happy because you left they you know nothing was ever there and its better for u to live with someone who is there for you and who respects u as a person and as an individual. But make sure if you decide to leave to make sure that you always supervise your daughter because you can never be to sure about men who date single moms. hope that everything works out.

michelle

Yes of course you should file for divorce. Noone has the right to put thier hands on you in any way. You are not happy with him at all..And if he doenst even know his daughter then hes a piece of ****!!! Find someone who will love you AND YOUR DAUGHTER,the way you are suppose to be loved. He doesnt deserve either one of you. D I V O R C E H I M now!!! dont wait. he has no respect for you at all.

roxie b

I know you should file for divorce cause a man should never hit his wife or girl.

laura j

Leave. I did it and i met a man i fell head over heels in love with him and we have been happy 5 yrs running now...quit waisting your time.....get out and find the one you want to be with

lucky13darkangelblue

You need to get a divorce because it not worth putting up with crap like that.You need to think of your daughter.

sincin19

Run for the hills and get away from this man immediately. But first, consult a lawyer and get his advice before making a move. This way you will be equipped with knowledge and as you know, knowledge is power!

devil_queen_biatch14

yep...when it becomes violent its time to get out...when u fight more than u dont its time...ur kid is gonna see it and feel like its her fault ...so what it just dient work out...move on..tell him..." ya know what..we arent workin out anymore n i dont want to hate u and i dont want u to hate me...so lets just get a divorce and do what we have to do as parents" "we was both young n it dient work.." "its no ones fault, and we should be happy with someone else instead of unhappy together"...and leave it at that

Nicki

That pushes will start to hitting or worst, best thing if you have a college degree get a good job. Take that beautiful baby and file for divorce.

mslorikaraoke

Been there, Done that!
Get down to the court house, get a temp restraining order, and file for divorce. They don't change, and the abuse just gets worse.

Otis F

Whether or not you try to fix your marriage, you and your daughter need a safe place -- right now. Find one and go there. It sounds like your parents will help out.

You cannot allow your daughter to grow up thinking that physical violence is normal inside a family. It will increase her chances of being in an abusive relationship.

Once you have found a safe place, you can make the other decisions that need making. If you want to try to fix the marriage, then your husband is going to need anger management counseling and the two of you will need marriage counseling.

Here are some links that you might find useful vis-a-vis how to argue.

uncle osbert

that sounds terrible.

it sounds like you really want it to work, but i'm concerned that he's pushing you when you two fight. that is not something you should be tolerating, especially not in front of your daughter.

marriages shouldn't be war... it might be time to call it a draw and see about retreating. you need to save your sanity and your daughter's future. try and help her understand as best you can. my mother's second marriage was the keeper. her first husband was a total cad... i'm grateful because i got to see how hard it is to find your mate and my parents never ever hassled me about getting married.

divorce the bumb , if he feels you ruined his life by having his daughter then remind him that he played a part in you having her , divorce him and sew him for all the child support you can get , best of luck to you and your daughter

Angel Baby

I hink you should file for divorce because therapy didn't work and he is getting violent with you.
So my best advice is to get out of that violent relationship before it get's worse.
You are only 21 you can find someone else who really apreciates you.
I say this because i was in the same situation the only difrence is that I was not married just lived with my ex, so it made it easier to get out.
Now I'm happly married with the love of my life, and much happier than when I was with my violent ex boyfriend.

M & M

I use to be in that same exact situation. My son was what made me strong enough to leave. You need to think about your child. Do you want her to witness those nasty fights you guys are going through? You said your husband feels you have ruined his life- well he is the one who is ruining your life and your daughters life. He is a bad husband and not to mention a terrible father. I hope and pray you find the motivation and courage to leave him. You are not in a healthy relationship and you need to move on. Please think about your daughter, she needs and is entitle to live a peaceful and loving life. You are young and you still have your whole life ahead of you. Let me tell you that when I left my husband I felt empty and it took me a very long time to get over him. So I know that it's going to be difficult for you, but you need to be strong. Now I'm married to a wonderful man that not only loves me but also loves my son. I honestly wish you the best and I hope that you make the right decision. Just remember to put yourself and your daughter first. Good luck!!

pdudenhefer

you can have a good life on 30000 much less 50000. dont let money stop you

Dave L

Any relationship with violence is unhealthy.
Divorce should never be the first action but if there is violence, ie. pushing, involved it could get worse than that.
It can be hard as a single parent but the drive to succeed for a single mother is enough to push you forward in life.
Just ask yourself what kind of life you want for your kid.
I hope things work out for you.
Just remember there is always a way out, it just depends on how bad you want out.

skorpio

Your the only one who can really answer this question hun..
But I will offer advice,
If your that unhappy and have tried everything, than get out of it and focus on you and your daughter, for him to say your daughter ruined his life is just sick. Just because your young doesn't really matter, it's actually better...I was 21 when I got married a few years ago, i had to divorce because his abuse got really bad, but anyways' hun, life is to short to be miserable, if you feel this is what you want to do ,than by all mean's go for it and stay strong, ;)

el.guapo

GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL!
You Man already show signs of physical spousal abuse and is just a matter of time before you end up as a batter woman.
GET A DIVORCE SAP.

weasel

he abuses u and stuff so i think u should becuz it can get worse. he can start using his fists to hurt u. He should take care of ur daughter becuz shes his biological kid and hes the one who should help u take care of her. if he wont help then get out asap!
may God giv u wisdom

Joekenorer

Your problem, and I sure you know, is that you got married way too young. He's thinking of this every day. It is painful to see people do this to themselves. You perception and personaltiy constantly change until your around 25-30 years old. You cannot lock two young people together and expect them to stay happy with eachother forever. You have to mature before you marry. Wait at least until you're 26. Its so so sad. Im gonna' cry. Leave, you have to. This will only get worse. It will not be one sided, he will be relieved by it too. You are obviously two completely different people than you were in middle school.

Its very sad to see these christians harp about how you should put up with it and stay married. Marriage is not something thats going to taint you evil and ruin you if it fails. These people need to realize, your entire life is at risk for a decision made way too early. Step back, break it off and live life like you meant to.

idontwannabefound2nite

Don't put up with that...you don't have to and you don't deserve it. Move on in a better direction in your life for yourself and your daughter. Never accept any excuse for him hitting you.....and I hope he hasn't done this in front of your child! I know, somewhat, how stressed you are....I also married at 18, had a child soon after...I know the stresses and worries that come with being married young, or anytime really, and having a child to care for. You don't need his crap on top of an already busy, hectic life. Although, it may be rough for a bit, and you might even feel lonely, please get out of this situation as soon as you can. I wish you the best of luck in your future....be safe.

Jimmy

You cannot have someone pushing and shoving you. You might be able to save your marriage, but this sort of physically MUST stop. You have to leave immediately and sort through things later.

Emerilla

As much as I think marriage is a permanent union, and I'd hate to see a marriage fall apart, but it doesn't seem you have much of an option.

First of all, he resents the fact that you gave birth to his daughter. It takes two to tango. He helped create her, so it isn't only your fault. You said he barely knows his own daughter, which indicates to me that he doesn't spend much to with her.

Secondly, he pushes you in fights. This is a major problem. Not only is it wrong for him to do this to you, but this will also have a huge impact on your daughter later in life. She will grow up believing it's okay for your boyfriend/husband to hit you. Girls usually grow up to marry people like their father. If you eventually have more children, particularly a boy, he will grow up believing it's okay to treat his girlfriend/wife the way his father treated you. That is wrong. Don't let his bad influence spread through your children.

You don't need to deal with the things he is pulling. You could try continuing therapy awhile longer, but if nothing at homes improves, you need to get out. If not for you, do it for your daughter.

LadyDragon

this sounds like alot of stress and your baby girl feels it to..there is not need for him to be upset about your parents helping you because it helps both of you in the long run but if he cannot get over that fact i would imagine it would be best to get out of the situation before it gets worse because it sounds like it is just building and that is not safe for you and safe for your girl..

so maybe you could separate see how it goes see if it helps give yall time away from one another, i would keep my daughter busy because this would be a big change, and i would make sure even if he blames her that she knows that it is not her fault and what i tell my boy is that his dad just wasnt able to be a dad, i always tell him he was meant to be and he has things he was born to do..you must above all make sure your kid knows this.

If this continues to get worse maybe you should divorce you do not deserve to be miserable and neither does he, and you can start over even tho you have a girl you and your girl deserve to be happy..i had to start over with my boy and i am married now with 3 kids..so it can work out but be safe dont worry about what people think

WifeandMom

This is something you and your husband should calmly discuss. Resentment does destroy a relationship, and it is normal to question if the love was ever there. The pushing and shoving is a very bad sign of what is to come. It is hard to let go and the grief of the loss of a relationship is a heavy burden, but you will pull through. If you have tried counseling, and still do not feel like you are on the same side, it could be time to go your seperate ways. There may be a womens group for support, or divorce recovery. As far as the relationship he has with his daughter, men tend to bod with their daughters when they are 4 or 5, when the daughter becomes more interested in what dad is doing. Have you tried counseling seperately? Please take the time to discuss your relationship with your husband calmly and privately... even if you have to do it somewhere public to prevent a fight for breaking out. maybe even a trial seperation? Have you finished college? Maybe he would like the oppurtunity to continue his education when you finish school. Then it would be your turn to work, and he would be able to dissolve that resentment. The physical violence HAS TO STOP though, you both should know that by fighting and becoming violent, not only are you teaching your daughter that it's ok to act this way, but to be treated this way. I'm sure your husband would not like the idea of his daughter letting someone hurt her because she thought it was acceptible, "if you love him" just like momma loved daddy.

Ang D

I've been there! and am still married to the same guy of 23 years the 1st 16 years was crazy i didn't know what to do barely home, always out all night but always making sure he pays the bills i was a housewife of 3 kids but what i saw in his eyes is that he loves me but his stupid boyish was taking its toll! If you see the yearnings in his eyes or something specific so powerful, so precious like (a cry for "please understand lady I love you" or "hang in there" "I'll be there when I'm ready" there's many without words out of his mouth) Guys outgrow it and now that we've been BEST of friends for the last 7 or 8 years! Boy if you need more I'll be around to tell you.

lovetotalk

happens alot with people that either marry young, too soon or because a baby is coming. If therepy does not work, then I'd say try a separation. Not a popular answer, but maybe some space will clear both your minds so you can focus on what you both want for your family. If that means divorcing, then that's something that can't be pushed aside.

People fail to recognize that people grow and change. The person you marry at 18 will not be the obsolute same person at 25 or 50. That's why they call it life experience, you have to live to experience and hopefully experiences will give you wisdom.

Sarah

Pray for him. The book Power of a praying wife, The five love languages, and Love dare are all good. With God all things are possible.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: