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KyLoveChick
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If it was me, and I truly loved him, I would wait and talk to him face to face. Maybe it is "fixable" and maybe it is not. A really shi**y thing to do over the telephone, especially right at Christmas.
I wish you the best. |
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wcowell2000
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I would try to contact the chaplain were he is stationed. See if the chaplain can have a talk with him. |
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FanTMBG
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I have never been married but this definitely sounds like the result of post-traumatic stress syndrome and you might have to deal with the fact that he might not ever get better. However, even if he says he doesn't love you, he needs support from those who love him, so I would continue to talk to him, try not to pressure him about anything, and just show him that you're there for him in this tough time. I would definitely wait until you see him face to face before you decide anything drastic about your marriage. |
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Andrea B
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i´m married to a soldier,23 years in the service -
also went through many tdy´s,several deployments-the longest was14 mos war in iraq-we have 4 kids-and went though a lot of bad times-i am sorry for you but please try to keep it together until you can see him in person and talk to him-he might be under a lot of stress |
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Poppy
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You both need to speak to a counselor. You find one at a base here and have him see one there. Let the local base counselor know what's going on. Do it...do it now. |
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Colonel Obvious AM
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I would. I wouldn't file for a divorce over the phone! If there is someone else you will know right away when she shows up with him and if he's just depressed, you should be able to sniff that out too. Good luck! |
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bluegirl87
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I think you should talk to him face to face because he might just miss you. Guys have a very awkward way of expressing their feelings sometimes. Hopefully he doesn't really want to divorce. But if he does, more than likely he has found another woman or just can't handle being away from you for so long and doesn't know what to do.. Just wait to talk to him before you do anything drastic!
Good luck! |
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Aleks
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He's in love with someone else but he won't try to get in relationship till he divorces you. |
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anissia
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yes wait he may change his mind by then. its not fair that he just do this while hes on duty, not sure if he even can do it while on duty. |
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ooe4eva
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WAIT TILL HE GETS HOME ITS THE WAR AND ALL THE STRESS THAT COMES WITH IT |
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Sunshine
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well, i think you should wait definitely. even if you cant save your marriage, you have a right to know what went wrong and why it took him so long to figure out what he wants.... you need to move on with your life if you divorce and you cant do that without closure. |
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Stina Lady
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I think he is going through alot and it has just made him freak out . Just keep supporting him and tell him that you would rather talk to him about it when he gets home and that you want to work on the marriage. But if he truly doesn't want to be married anymore, maybe it's best for both of you. I wish you the best of luck. |
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AJanae W
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First, I'd like to say I'm terribly sorry. This is very hard. I honestly think you should wait until he comes home to talk face to face. However, they don't always come home when they say. If he REALLY has never been in love with you, honestly there's nothing you can do. Talk it over with him and try to see if he'll at least be willing to TRY and work through it. Maybe even try marriage counseling. Hope I helped even the tiny bit. Wish you the best of luck. |
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october_daze
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something has made him come to this conculsion that he's not in love anymore. it could all be related to the extreme amounts of stress he is under. if he is currently away it would be advisable to wait until he comes home. maybe you two could discuss with a marriage counselor and if he's just not willing to make that work, grant his wish of divorce and let the mending begin so you can start a fresh with someone new. best of luck, i'm hoping you can work it out! |
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jessica g
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Hi,
I'm also married to the military and has a husband that has PTSD and TBI, hes actually deployed right now...as you know being with a soldier is NO easy task....especially if they are infantry like mine...
if this was me.i would personally go to Korea..show him you love him and you care, he obviously loves you otherwise he wouldn't have been married for this long....but I'm all about "Actions speak louder then words"
so no i wouldn't wait till Feb i would go up there and prove to him and show him.
but if the financial budget isn't there there are always "hop flights" that the military will fly you for free (dont really suggest that tho) but yea if the finical budget isnt there then you have no choice but to wait but when you do see him make sure its the best night ever
no arguing!
hope it helps
dealing with someone with PTSD isn't easy
but you can do it :) |
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penelope
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Did it ever cross your mind that maybe he has been doing alot of soul searching while in Korea? My little brother was deployed a few months ago & he tells us that while he misses all of us that suddenly he has found out who he is & what he wants from life, somtimes they get out their & thier in a whole new world, the cultures different, their lives are on the line day to day & they begin thinking about what is really important in life & what isnt? Alot of men leave their familys as one man & come back as another, they change, sometimes for the good & sometimes not, the thing that worrys me is the fact that he claims to have never loved you, ouch that hurts, but why would he come out and say such a hurtful thing? Is their more to this then what your letting us in on? I mean, geez, thats a bold out of the blue statement & one that must be taken serious, I wish ya the best, Penelope |
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jtease
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Sounds like he found a gf in Korea. Come on he's a man, what do you think he's doing. Probably want to marry a single Korean gal there, afterall its not acceptable to introduce a married man to the Korean gal family its shameful, unless he's a divorced man its ok. Make him wait till he gets back & talk to him face to face.
One of my friends, friend was like that he was married but had to go to Korea & she was here in the USA and guess what he cheated on his wife with a Korean gal. |
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Matt P
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If you have the money, I'd hop on a plane and get over there ASAP to talk to him. It is strange but true -- sometimes a person needs the other person so much, and can't stand constantly being apart from them, that they think it's better to just break it off. This happened with my girlfriend and I once, and I immediately hoped on a plane to go see her. It worked wonders (we're married now). He might just need a hug and reassurance from you. I'm living in Korea now, and I'll tell you, it's a rather depressing place at times, especially in the winter. Seeing someone you love can help change all perspectives. |
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Rudi A
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Best to wait and talk to him face to face as he
is still your husband. However being in the
military for 22yrs and dealing with several
marriage problems of my soldiers that I was in
charge of , he probably found another woman
in Korea. Speak to him directly and you as his
wife will find out one way or the other and if he
does want a divorce then seperate first to give
you and him the space needed to think it over
and during that time period you will know for
sure what the outcome will be. If it comes to
that, divorce, you still have your life ahead of
you and go forward, even though you may
go through some rough times, remember
you have a life also and don't let anyone stop
you from being happy. Good luck. |
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Lynn
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Maybe he has met someone else, or he just wants to be single. Maybe he's just lonely? Bored? Depressed? Maybe he just simply fell out of love, sadly it does happen.
Honey, it could be a million different things. Talk to him face to face and get to the bottom of things. I wish you the best of luck. |
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oscarloco
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Wait until he gets home. A divorce is something you don't arrange over the phone. Tell him to be a man and show his face.
One more thing, we men have a hard time lying. Women can see our facial expressions that tell us out. So if he is trying to do it over the phone, he is lying about the other girl. |
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Coolmama
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That is a strange situation. I don't know what I would think about it. I eould wait until I saw him face to face and try to talk to him and make some sence out of this |
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teeman824
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Ether he is tring to protect you because he fears for his life.
He feels guilty because he is away from you for so long
He has meet someone
He has done something with someone and knows if you find out you will want out
I don't know but this is why i would ask for out if i was away. |
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bobby
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wow I can't imagine going through that I don't have any advice just hoping the best for you. |
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vernon t
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You sound like a very caring person, let him go and find someone else, it sounds like he has. |
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Alma
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I think he met somebody in Korea and they(girls) really loves American guys and very approachable in that sense. Sorry. |
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jezzabell
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don't agree to anything until he gets home and you can talk face to face, when he's not under the stress of being at war. Maybe that is really how he feels, but maybe he's developed a warped sense of mind, it happens. War is stressfull, and can do crazy things to a soldiers mind. There are too many possibilities that I could mention, and not enough space, but all of them end in: don't give up, his reasons for feeling the way he does are probably not rational, and are brought on by your situation in life. Whatever you do, while he is over there, no matter what he says, tell him all your feelings of love for him, he needs it. I hope everything works out for you. Give it time. |
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evita
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wow im really sorry. well if he wanst a divorce the ngive it to him u cant hold someone for ever. maybe he did find some and doesnt want to tell u too hurt u but is kind of late for that right.. also waitting for him to come home is also a good idea. good luck |
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Matthew J
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I positively think you should wait. I mean you should tell him that you are willing to do anything that he wants and wait it out. I can only imagine how hard it is to be gone all of the time in WAR. It has to be hard for anyone. Hope this helps-Matt |
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zinubes
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this seems like a very complicated issue...he just told you a couple days ago that he has been suffering...for how long??? and of course he is suffering from boredom, and lonliness, but why has he waited so long to tell you about the post-war combat stress? It seems like he thinks that you will not understand...and I don't think that you ever will. give him time..give him the divorce if that is truly what he wants. If he knows it was a mistake and wants to get back together with you then maybe you can....but for now, be thankful that there are no children involved. I may seem harsh, but the reality of it is, he wants a divorce...give it to him and move on..if it was meant to be, he will come back. If not, at least you know now and not another 7 years from now! I'm sorry for the pain you are going through....and I wish you the best of luck. |
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