My mom constantly insults me everytime I visit her why?

Brianna

Your mother clearly has issues.

My question is... why do you still do all these things for her when clearly she acts so poorly to you? She continues to treat her badly because you allow her too. The next time you go there and she says something negative, put whatever you are doing down. Calmly look at her and say, i will not remain her any longer to be insulted any more. Then calmly walk out. Do not turn around, do not listen to another word. Walk out and do not come back until the next normal visit would be. Walk in... be cautious.. the moment she starts in about you, you say, i will not stay here and allow you to treat me badly. Calmly walk out and do not come back until the next normal visit.

She'll most likely go off and tell you not to bother coming back. If that is said... calmly look around and say. Ok, i won't come back until you ask me back. Then calmly walk out. Do not go back until she asks you back.

Until there are consequences for her behavior, she won't ever change. When she is ready to talk to you again, and it might take a few months, you need to sit her down and tell her you won't allow her to be harmful to you again. Stick to your guns. To be walked on, you must first lay down. Refuse to ever lay down again.

I bet if she tried to say such a thing to your brother, he'd tell her off and not come back. Do the same!

_dee

maybe shes jealous of u

RayRay5491

She must have something against you that she hasn't mentioned to you. Or she may be jealous.
May be a good idea to ask her why.

â™«â™ªAlways Singingâ™«â™ª

Stop cleaning her house and doing favors for her. If she can't be appreciative of who you are as her daughter, then quit catering to her every need.

I tell it like it is

Its her way of keeping you dependent upon her, a way of manipulating you so she can keep the apron strings attached. Stop taking it and stand up for yourself.

Andrew G

Because she is jealous of your life and wishes she would have lived hers similiar. Stop visiting her and before you do tell her why your going to stop.

Chilly Willy

Your mother is insecure or just hates to see you be happy.

katydid

I don't know why she's that way but she sounds miserable. My mom shows a lot of favoritism toward my brother too. I have 2 sisters and all of us girls get the brunt of her crappy moods.
Next time she says something rude, look her in the eye and ask her why she'd be so inconsiderate. Remind her that she taught you to be nice, not rude. I did it to my mom and she was blown away. But she got the picture and isn't as snippy and quick to judge as she used to be. I wish you luck with this.

Queen of Beer

Just explain to her how hurtful her words are and that you cannot come over as much til she stops it. Next time she says something, just get up and leave. Maybe then she'll get the hint!

Mother's don't have an exemption from being a**holes. Same thing happened to my wife.

Give it right back to her. When she says you look fat or sickly tell her she is no Jennifer Ansiton herself. You are old enough to be able to hand it back to her. There is no excuse for what she is doing to you. You sound like a very good daughter. You are an adult and she should treat you like one.

If that does not work blow her off for a few weeks. She will get the message.

tucker

You are in a Codependent relationship with your mom........get help. What she says shouldn't make or break your day.

Deirdre S

My mother is the same way. She treats me like dirt and tells me how everything I'm doing as a parent (grounding a 10 year old for bad grades and such) is terribly wrong. She told me I was fat just the other day. She was at my house for Christmas and constantly complained about everything, my furniture (new), my kitchen (clean) my stairs, my food, the kids presents (that she didn't buy) being "too much". On the other hand, my sister is a God, everything she does is perfect and wonderful and her house is soooo nice and she is such a good parent and her x-husband is so awesome... Blah blah blah,,,

Oops, sorry, I vented a little... Anyway, I am sorry that I can not give you great words of wisdom, I do all the same for my mother and she can't see that. Plain and simple, I won't go over there anymore. I can't. My daughter can't stand to be around her and neither can I.

Oops... Started venting again...

Good Luck. You're not alone.

EDIT/ADD ON:
And if your mother is anything like mine, I wouldn't bother asking. My mother will just turn it all around and start in on me and attempt to make me feel like some terrible person for even accusing her of treating me badly. Sometimes, its just not worth it.

Short_and_Sweet

sounds like your mom is jealous of you. Maybe she was fat and never helped out her own mother. I'd be asking HER why she was so cruel to you.

â™¥

Sounds like she's jealous of you.

rpetch007

when you let her get away with it thats why.. please say something to her ..as it hurts you .. but try to be nice as well...

Lucy

Stop going over there. When she calls to b*tch because you haven't been over, tell her why. Tell her when she can treat you with love and respect you'll be happy to come and visit her.

She may need some tough love.

Adam A

ask her why
take the mature approach and find out for yourself from her

SMT

Have you ever spoken to your mother about this and how it bothers you? I'm sure she probally doesn't mean to hurt your feeling. Mothers are human and they make mistakes too. Sometimes we speak before we think. If it really bothers you, I'd have a private talk with her, just you and her. If she's like me, I love my daughters more than anything and wouldn't ever want to hurt their feelings, I'm sure your mother probally feels the same.

ChemoAngel

Same here, almost daily. Either over the phone or in person...I don't get it either.

Gabriela V

I feel you, my mom does the same to me at times.. I dont think she is trying to be cruel, I think that shes doing it the wrong way. See im 5'5 and 145lbs so Im o.k. with my weight but when my mom sees me shes like "oh your getting fat you better watch it" it does hurt but I think they do this because we probably remind them of them.. and they dont want us to repeat what they regret because they want the best for us. Wrong way for them to go about it:(
Talk to her hun I'm sure she's not trying to intenually hurt you:) Moms are moms Lol!

Kity R

You do too much for your mom. You are making her feel helpless, she doesn't like that. Maybe she couldn't cope without your visits, but I doubt that she wants to recognise that yet.
She is trying to be top dog - queen of the nest. That is why she is insulting you, because she is still trying to be your mom and not let you be queen bee. Read Snow White and the 7 dwarfs. These insults are her poisoned apples.

Just laugh and say mirror mirror on the wall. I am glad that you are fairest of them all, just remember that.

Brothers are a different kettle of fish altogether. Moms love their sons, for some unknown reason. Most sons can do no wrong. Sorry you'll never change that.

sassysandyinmi

I have the same relationship with my mom and she used to say those things about me and sometimes still does, thing is I took them so much to heart that I turned out the way she always said I was back then pathetic right? But I have always wondered the same thing why, I have come to realize it's because she has NEVER been happy with herself and was jealous of the friendships or guys I seen back then and now believe it or not she will tell me that I was not that fat back then yeah it would have been nice to hear it then but that's what I think that she's just jealous of what you now have and she don't you remind her of her back in the day and she don't know how else to deal with it perhaps you should tell her exactly how you feel it just might turn out to be the best thing you could do good luck

Marisol G

Just ignore her. She's just taking her anger out on you.

Elina

some mothers are b***** don't visit her and do the best you can with your Life. shes probably jealous or something, if you say your pretty. my grandmother use to watch calmly has my dad would get beat up by his dad....so don't complain.

Nena S

Sounds to me like she is projecting. Google this..."projection". It is used in psychology.

I'd suggest you give her some time to think about things, after you have read a bit and talked to her. Tell her you are a good person, a nice woman, and that you try to be a good and supportive daughter too.

If she feels the need to critisize you- and even insult you- then stop seeing her for some time. I mean it! Sometimes people hurt us, and they think we don't have the guts to put distance. She obviously has issues and she must have some kind of favoritism towards your brother...Who knows why!?!

I'm not saying stop loving your mother, or never see her again. What I mean is that sometimes it's best to let time and distance do their part when a relationship is not a healthy or pleasant one. Good luck.

Consider going to therapy if her comments hurt you or anger you too much.

kwidener21

To answer this question someone would have to know more about you and your moms past relationship. Was she verbally abused as a child? I know some parents always push there to do better, look better, or try harder because they didn't achieve what they wanted in there prime. I don't know about your history, but these are just some ideas to consider.

Nita

Sometimes its a habit, and it may not necessarily have anything to do with you. Maybe she has some unresolved issues about herself that she takes out on you. Parents tend to do that with their kids, live their lives through them. It may not be as excessive as making you do things, but I really think it's more to do with herself than you. I'm pretty sure she loves you more than any type of jealousy is concerned.

Angelita

As difficult as it may sound, she might be jealous of you in some way. You're young, pretty and without any attachments. I would tell her that unless she stops insulting, you wont be visiting her as often. My mum gets like this too. I think that mums feel they can criticise and it's alright because they're your mum. Tell her how much it upsets you. She might not realise.

flower

I'm 29. My father does the same to me. Even though I know he loves me very much and I tell him that it bothers me, he continues to do it. I think its a reverse phsycology thing. If you are confident and beleive that there is nothing wrong with you, then wonderful! Dont take your mother's comments too seriously. She might not even know it hurts you if you dont tell her. I dont beleive she is jelous. That's just how older people are. They tend to get more blunt but its not always true. Just talk to her and keep your head up!

Muffin the Mule

Perhaps you should explain to her that you don't like the way she treats you & if it does not stop you will not be visiting

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