My mother doesn’t like my wife, is their relationship hopeless?

Scarlett Hussein, Dirty Liberal

A baby almost always brings people together, though I wouldn't count on it. It could backfire with her making snide comments about things she does while pregnant, then taunting her parenting skills. You should just brush off her comments. She sounds like a miserable person, and it pushing it onto everyone else. People like that don't change. If you want to maintain some sort of relationship with her, ignore the nastiness. That is the only way.

Jerdy

So what! Live youre lifes!

Rae

you mother will always be mean to her, unless she has a change of heart herself, which is very slim. You mom is psycho and jealous because your wife now holds a higher esteem in your eyes than your mother. A baby will make it worse, but since you are an adult you shouldnt try to please your mother, and hold on to your wife for strength and comfort. Dont try to be friends, just try to not fight.

brianseltz

screw your mother, she don't know crap - she has her own choices to make, don't let her make choices for you.

she needs therapy.

rollo_tomassi423

You situation is quite common. You mom sounds like she feels that no one would ever be good enough for her only son, and she would also resent anyone who took her son away from her.

She may always feel that way, but the relationship could change after you have a child because your mom may have to be nice to your wife in order to get access to her grandchild.

Blond Logic

Your Mother is probably acting like her Mother did towards your Father - or - she wanted to keep you all to herself and may be secretly emotionally dependent on you. Sounds to me like she is a very insecure emotionally person.
What you might try - and talk to your wife about this - is that once every week/2 weeks/month - whatever - you and your Mom "go on a date". Just the two of you. This just give her the special attention she needs. Dinner/movie - whatever. She will see that your wife is willing "to share" you with her and she what a good person your wife is.
This worked for 3 of my friend. Took all the Momma problems away. I hope it works for you if you try it. What have you got to lose?

Annie R

Your mother needs help if their will ever be any decent family life. This situation is not fair to your wife and the situation will only get worse when the babies come along.

Your mom needs an ultimatum. Get help or stay away....Good luck

OOO! I know! I know!

There is always hope. Time will tell. Good for you to honor your wife and good for her on being nice to your mom. Good luck on your own personal parentage venture.

Aena Z

I think there in not much hope for their relationships? As U ve said that Ur mother wanna see U 'divorced' then how can she would be willing to remake the relationship. Ur wife respects Ur mom, isnt it enough for ur mom.
U should live Ur life as U wanna be. Because U are happy with Ur wife...........then what is left to think about.

girl176a1

Who cares If your mom doesn't like her. You love her. Your mom needs to get laid shes got so senial that she cant stop barking up the wrong tree. Your mom wont want to lose your respect for her. Get away from your mom and start being a man. You need time to adjust and not be tied to mommys aprin strings. So live your life being married. Forget your mom being the way she is, dont care what people think. You have the love of your life and you dont want to mess it up.

stacy

I guess there is always hope but from my experience a baby does not always create bonds. Your mother probably has problems cause she didn't want to share you in the first place. By introducing a baby into the picture you are just sharing yourself among more ppl. I am not saying put your life on hold. You already see your mother for what and who she is so go on with your plans and leave it all alone.

I am four weeks away from my due date and my bf's family still hate the **** out of me. Nothing has changed, actually things got worse after they found out i was pregnant.

I have decided that none of it matters, I have my baby to see about and he is now my first priority.

If your mother comes around, be glad, if she doesn't she will be the one to lose out. Goood luck with your family.

passionatefruit

you and your wife are one, so if mom doesn't like your wife she doesn't like you as much. your life now is with your wife, make her happy, make her proud. mom needs to get her own life and leave you t'hell alone, you big boy. their relationship is not hopeless because i'm sure they can work out their differences- talk it out, find out why your mom doesn't like her. usually, mom's are jealous that another woman has their "baby" and it's hard to let them go be another woman's baby.
oh, and having a baby is a 50/50 chance that they'll get a long better. good luck.

Jerry's cowgirl

it should not matter what your mother thinks of her as long as you love her so much and then you should not care what she thinks as long as you 2 have each other. you will be fine it always works out in the end.

bown

Who cares what your mom thinks of your wife? It didn't stop you from marrying her. Tell your mom to get a life and get laid, instead of worrying about YOUR wife. I'd let her know her opinion of her doesn't matter, so she's better off to keep it to herself.

kimberly b

I feel sorry for your wife, and when you have a baby next year I think it may get worse. Can you imagine how much "advice" she will have and all of the "you are doing that wrong" AHHHHH I do not mean to scare you, I am just being realistic. I admire your wife, and truly feel for her. I would say it is time for you to put your foot down and tell your mother that you will not tolerate it anymore. Let her know that it is not healthy for you to continue to put up with this. If she has already stopped then it is also possible that your wife has some unresolved feelings and maybe she needs to let your mom know how she feels and not fear what you will say about it.
Best of luck to you guys!

jojo

man that's hard just tell Ur mam that u don't like what she's doing and to cut it off & u like luv we ur wife then go & fix what ur mam did tell ur faimly bot ur wife what she did good stuff for u that stuff

hpyhomemaker

I don't know if there is hope for their relationship or not. But yours will last forever because you would choose your wife over your mother. That is so sweet! I wish you guys all the best.

twinky

it's possible that they will bond after the baby..but your mom sounds like she will do some critisizing also..that will not be good for your baby...if she has turned your family against your wife she will do the oposite of however you decide to raise your child..tell your wife to be patient..i went thru the same thing and we ended up being best friends...good luck

HelpingU

You mother doesn't like her because she took you away from her, and makes her feel lonely,your mother won't stop bothering her until she gets a boyfriend, believe me once she finds someone she'll forget about her.

Make your mom fall in love again.

Nancy Kay

oh, honey, i doubt it will get better without some major transformations...and don't count on the baby bonding them...it has the potential to make it even more strained.

bless you for wanting better relations for them, and for realizing that your higher priority is to the one you chose as your wife and life partner/

single mothers of only sons (sometimes daughters, but more often sons) have an extremely difficult time letting go...some more than others...you have been the center of her universe for a very long time, and vice versa...so she ain't gonna give up without a fight, as it were...

good luck to all of you!

madness

Be careful with your mother. Remember that she will always want to protect you at any cost, and she will be jealous with any woman that crosses your life. She has the power to destroy any relationship and even your marriage.

You should make your mother respect your wife at any cost and try to keep them away of each other and the best thing is not trying to make them friends. That won't happen and they will act as they're friends, but just when you're on sight

Remember that distance with mothers in law is the best technique to have a good relationship with them.

hejhs

hell no, ur will still hate

st pete rn

You can't "make" your mother like your wife, she doesn't have to (though it would make life easier). Just keep remembering that you and your wife are a team. Expect them to be civil to each other and to show respect when you all have to be together. As far as the other relatives, invite them over without your mother present and show them what a prize you have.

fatboysdaddy

You were the man in her life till your wife came. Then she had to share you and that is something she did and does not want to do. Also if she did not have any males other than you in her life she might have had a bad relationship with your father that turned her off of men.
Hopefully as you and your wife continue to grow she will she she was wrong. Wait till you two start having children then watch the change in your mother. Grandchildren have a way of melting the hardest heart!

docscholl

The baby could change things, but don't get your hopes up.
Most likely scenario is some kind of family crisis that will bring mom and daughter-in-law together.

My mom never, ever liked any of the women my brothers and I married.
I gave my wife a heads up on this early in our relationship, and told her to just be herself and that I will stand by her.
My wife is a good person, a polite person but an assertive person.
She got crap from my mom, and dished it right back...something my brothers wives didn't dare do.
My mom might not like my wife, but she respects her for taking a stand and doing it with good humor.

I don't know if every guy has had to deal with the mom-who-wouldn't-let-go, but I'm sure it has gone on since the time of the first wedding.
Just like dads and daughters, there is that special bond between moms and sons.

My attitude is Biblical: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh." (see link).

dmckinner

I had the same issue, it will probably never completly go away, however, after a while they will learn to deal with each other, and realize that you are going to be together regardless! If you mother is much of a parent, she should realize this sooner than later.

daniel b

thats a tuff one, ur wife comes first, ur mother second.

shawnza

your wife and your mother may not bond but your mother will bond with the child and sad to say their relationship may never be what you want it ti be but as long as they respect one another it will work but the moment things start to get ugly LOOK OUT

GOOD LUCK YOUR GOING TO NEED IT

kcstg

I'm sorry to hear about your situation! I wanted to reach out to you because I'm working on a project that I think can help you with this. I am casting couples and mother-in-laws who would like some help resolving their issues with each other in a positive manner. The pilot is NON-AIRING, so the participants don't have to worry about their problems being broadcast on national TV. Participants will receive $1,000 compensation each for their time. The pilot will shoot over three days in early February. Interested parties should contact us immediately as casting is on the fast track! We are seeking women ages 18-50 who live in southern CA. Applicants should send us their name, city of residence, how long they've been married/engaged, a description of their conflict with their in-law, and a photo. To apply, email us at castingmotherinlaws@gmail.com or call 424.236.7500 ext. 7661. I hope things get better for you!

kcstg

cam

yeah it is hopeless lol. maybe you should do a research on wanting MIL to be in delivery room and keeping husband's mother away from visiting or spending time with her grandbaby and the relationship between wife vs. mom. I am my boyfriend first girlfriend and love and his mother always find ways to break the relationship up. She thought i was going to steal her son's baby pictures so she ran outside her neighborhood n called me a two-face n tat my parents dnt care bout me just bcuz im out til 1 a.m. n i was 19 at the time. Also she never apologize to me n she said im skinny n she always give me a big plate of food. his mom is a colombian fat woman n im a pretty asian woman. she told her husband n son tat i wore a top tat showed some part of my stomach n told het son to leave me. Also two months later my bf n i plan a trip to maine n he left w/o me cuz he told me tat his mother said i called her tat im with another man! i sent a message on fb n cursed her out. n his mom n sis did too. Gr n now im pregnant n his mother is trying to make all the decisions for our baby. im not going to let his mom visit her grandbaby wenever she wants. def. i lay all the rules to my bf about our baby.

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