My mother has threatened to call social services on me if I file for a divorce from my husband.?
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My mother has threatened to call social services on me if I file for a divorce from my husband.?
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I have nothing to fear because I am an excellent mother. I have a special needs child and a neurotypical child. Both are in therapy five days a week, the neurotypical in therapy because of speech. I've devoted my life to these children. The pressures have mounted in my marriage and I want a divorce (after 20 years) of minimal help from my husband. I told my mother that social services would take my children and place them in foster care. I'm in total shock that she would say something like that (she's against divorce and VERY religious), but I feel she's grabbing at straws. I need some legal advice or anyone who has been through this before, please help.
Additional Details
I've thought of holding off on the divorce for a while, since my husband and I are separated. It's just confusing me even more because he's acused me of using my daughter for attention and sympathy (which I'm not) and that I only stick around for her paycheck (which also isn't true). She's non-verbal but I know she can hear everything he says. He knows what buttons to press to make me angry and says he's got me recording saying the F-word (which I'll admit anyone would with this type of stress). I don't want to be coerced into something if I'm not happy in my marriage. I'd rather part our separate ways and be friends for the childrens' sake. Actually, the love I had for my husband has been destroyed from so many years of him constantly tearing me down and saying such mean things to me. I've given him hundreds of chances, but now that I'm threatening with a divorce, he wants to get all spiritual! He's undiagnosed bipolar and refuses to get on medication as well.
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Steffie
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Your mother is trying to manipulate you. Don't give her a second thought, tell her its abusive to make threats.
You need a divorce, go for it. |
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Jordan M
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Plain and simple....your mother is just talking because she can speak. She is way off base. Ignore her nonsense. Get your divorce if you want to. Good Luck! No one is going to take your children from you. |
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LYNN in FL (suspended @#*%)
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Talk is cheap. Hopefully she wouldn't follow through but it sounds like you have nothing to worry about even if she did.
Good luck. Don't stay in a miserable marriage. |
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jl
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get a phone recorder and record a phone call where she talks about it. ask her why she would do such a thing so you have it in case anythig comes of it. If you are really worried, call social services before she does and show them that your mother is off her rocket. |
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Boo
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Let her do whatever she wants. Your kids won't be taken away from you. She will just lose your respect. |
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Paul&Fran
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Well hope she is just blowing smoke. Even if she does the state of child services right now they may not show up anyways. |
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Jilted
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Thank her for her concern, and then reminder her that you can sue for for slander and libel, and that you are sure that the nice people who are charged with protecting children who are getting raped and beat, would love to spend an afternoon visiting. Now that you know that they are coming, you know to keep the making of tea (the bittish after snack thing) on hand.
Oh, and tell her that she will never see the kid again. |
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MM
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Can you enlist a pastor or some other religious resource to talk some sense into her? If not, then talk to the lawyer you plan to work with on the divorce, warn any doctors or teachers you and the children have worked with that you might need them to serve as character witnesses, and get her threat on record if you can. You probably don't need to worry too much, though: social services is not going to be eager to try and place children in need of specialized help when there isn't any evidence that they need to (trust me, one incidence of you swearing is nothing compared to the horror stories they see), and like you said, your mother might just be trying to frighten you - which is sad, but if she sees she can't change your mind, she'll either have to cope or miss out on seeing the grandkids. |
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jaded
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you are an excellent mother and probably a very terrible wife. shocked? dont be. your husband is probably trying to tell you that.
there are two sides to this story and he has his. marriage counseling will help you both. you DESERVE to learn better ways of coping. he deserves to learn better ways of helping you. you deserve to learn better ways of relating to him, without your children being part of the equation.
this has NOTHING to do with your mother, unless she gives you money, helps you or otherwise gives you value and so has a right to judge you. so if you truly do this on your own, take her out of the equation and do not EVER discuss your private business with her, if you do, you open yourself up to her criticism.
you sound enraged. honey, go take a bath and think about what i have written. here are two books you can buy that professional counselors use as benchmark texts in how to relate, if you ( both) read them to start, i guarantee GUARANTEE some peace of mind for you.
they are ' relationship rescue. by dr phil mcgraw. and, the proper care and feeding of marriage, by dr laura.
good luck. there is still lots and lots of hope. |
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Little Angel
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Don't get a divorce. Go to biblical marriage counseling. |
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Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
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